This is not the worst option
but by far the most precarious

Why did they leave me here?
Fragments of reality pierce my brain
It looks like you aren't sure who you are anymore

Suicide is the ultimate failure
My bones are crafted out of fear
My tendons are ripped out of anxiety

The moon laughed along with me although it was dim
Flash flood warnings are both of our favorite things
The storm clouds controlled by me and the moon

I wish you would raise me like the daughter you've always wanted
Don't lie to me
I wish instead of broadcasting my name without my permission
You would listen to me for once instead
and have patience
and have faith

Tell me who I am
Before I figure it out myself

Take my hands and bring me back to the high chairs and the birthday candles and pretend I was okay for just a little bit longer if not only to make me smile

I will almost never forget that

Give up once you can feel it
Go to sleep when it cries for you

Sometimes it is better not to worry
Sometimes it is better not to own guns
But, what can I say

The breadwinner was hot railing at last
We have dismantled the illusion

Persecution according to prosecution
If only to feign partiality

Dear you,

My heart aches for you. But, there's only so much I can do, or there's never enough that I can do. One of those, I don't know which. I wrote this because I hurt too, we all do. I like to subdue pain, only because I don't know how to end it.

I'm sorry

Every time we went to the pool
You mocked the lifeguards
For their hair and the way they applied their sunscreen

I bet you thought that was funny
Until you drowned

When I'm gone, I don't want much to happen, as that would have been how it was regardless
I ask for one last glance towards the horizon over the water
I feel as if that's all I need

It is difficult to operate machines on an empty stomach
Something about their piercing glare is so
Appetizing

I live for my next meal
That is to say I think I can afford it

empty hull
emptied corridors
empty nicotine stomach
coughing up animal fat

I remember drowning and that's it
Time runs backwards
Nonsense is produced

My bones scare me more than the concrete that shatters them
Am I here forever?
Because I've forgotten all of it

all of it is a lie
stop suffering for it

all of me is besides the point
all of me is dwindling
slow, ****** agony