My father lost his mind after losing my mother.
Before getting over his grief, he married another.
Now a drunkard, he hides away
keeping me inside with him day after day.
My new mum, as I'd call her,
hated the thought of Da abusing his daughter.
She wouldn't treat me as other mums would
and kept away from Da best she could.
I no longer believed in love,
and I prayed to the god I had heard of.

Into adulthood, I grew with a start.
I now bought the drinks to fix Da's broken heart.
The god others prayed to still didn't help,
and everyone seemed happy except for myself.
My new mum was growing older with age,
and we needed to find someone else to pay wage.
We were in debt and a large one at that.
After finishing school, I got a job and came back.

In this time of duress you came.
Nothing would ever be the same.
You soon appeared in all of my dreams
and haunted all of my memories.
I would go red whenever I saw you.
I didn't believe in love, but I will soon.
You showed me things I didn't see.
You discovered a new side of me.

But my father soon found out.
He began cursing and crying about
you stealing me from him.
He said he would never forgive that sin.
I couldn't let him destroy the only thing I've ever loved.
So, with bated breath, I pushed and shoved.
Mum separated us from our quarrel
and scolded me for my immoral
actions in speaking against him.
I couldn't believe she sided with him.
Finally, she sent me away.
Thinking Da was drunk, I behaved.

One day was harder than the others.
I sat in my room locked in by Mother.
We had been secretly speaking together,
but I hadn't responded due to the gloomy weather.
You came to my house thinking I was sick.
I had to think of something quick
or else Da would see you and fulfill his words.
I prepared myself for the worst.
I screamed and grabbed my only blade
and acted deathly afraid.

Hearing footsteps, I got ready to cry.
But my knife fell out of my hand and I
tripped upon seeing Da's caring, worried face.
Never had I seen him that way.
I felt my knife puncture and cut deep.
I cried and screamed as Da pulled it out of me.
He cradled me in his arms
and promised I would never again be harmed.

Blood stained my quivering hands
and a second time the door slammed.
You stood aghast upon seeing me
and tried to stop the bleeding desperately.
My vision grew darker and blurry.
I could tell you were beginning to worry.
That was the last time I ever saw you
I was surrounded by the ones I knew.
Slowly, in Da's arms, I bled out.
Loss would always fill this house.

In the night's darkest hour
you will see the demon's light.
He will show you infinite power,
giving you eternal sight.
You will be blinded by
all the shining stars divine.
You'll no longer see the sky
as a branding sign.

This is how your story goes
a never-ending chain!
You've emphasized all your woes
filling yourself with pain.

Time, present, future and past;
nothing stops it from working.
As the weakest, you are last,
and you know you are broken.
Over all of time you grow.
You will watch the world unfold.
Ending high, but starting low.
Aging?  Never getting old.

This is how your story goes
a never-ending chain!
You've emphasized all your woes
filling yourself with pain.

The demon, it slowly spreads
consuming all of you.
Now able to see the dead,
you fear what will happen, too.
Death is soon upon you.
You'll be reborn a heathen.
You accept your fate.  You knew
you're already a demon.
You serve all the Devil's commands,
and now we meet the end.
Not caring what else happens,
soon we'll all be dead.

I shake your hand unwillingly.
I didn't want this to be
the start or end of our newfound friendship.
I'm forcing, pushing myself to do this.
Keep in mind, this is not my kind of bliss.
T'is not cause of you I ran away,
but I just knew I couldn't stay.
I doomed "us" before "we" even started.

"Let's be friends," I'd rehearsed in my head,
not knowing I  would soon be led
by all my faults and hardships.
I feel I will implode
never knowing where else to go.
"I'm an introvert," I'd always say.
This is the excuse I use everyday.
I'm led blindly by my own utter failures.

""It's really not that hard to do,"
I thought whilst running away from you.
Being social is a part of our livelihood.
I've fallen and there's no one to stop me.
I don't matter, so why not flee?
No one will notice that I am gone.
I have no acquaintances to lean on.
Nothing can keep this sea from being parted.

I try my hardest, I try my best
but I'll never get any rest.
Being alone is neither healthy nor good.
I've tried to find some friends online,
but they would go away sometimes.
My time here's waning.  I'm consumed by fear.
There are no friends to save me from here.
They'll never know how much it really hurts.

I see the mirror's reflection of
everything that I'd love
to be.

I hear the whispers and echoes near me
and ache from the burdens I am forced to carry.
I feel your icy breath
down my neck.
Your comforting eyes
stare through my lies.
I know this mirror's reflection of
everything that I love
isn't me.

There are too many voices and too many words.
They spout insults until all of me hurts.
They promise not to hurt me if I behave,
but I think they lie and will fight 'till I cave.
The only thing I depend on is this haunting mirror.
I keep it hidden, out of sight, afraid you will appear.

Your smile crushes me.  Do you really not know?
I do not want to sink in the fires below,
but there is no way to escape from this mimicked reality.
The only option
is death.

Trapped.
Ignored.
Risking it all without reward.
Unwanted.
Shunned.
No one knows you were the one.

When you know of your wrong, but you can't deny
all the feelings you carry on the inside.
You have no worth, and don't you cry
even though you feel like you want to die.

you masked everything and blocked all others out.
You knew they only wanted to fill you with doubt.
You know you are special since death is near
to save you from all the fires of fear.

How can you stand to watch the whole world burn?
You needn't do what you did; you'd nothing to earn.
I hope to never see your return.
You say you freed them of their concern.

This... confinement you have placed yourself in
won't be able to save you from all of your sin.
You're a psychopath, a murderer, a monster.
How can you find solace through your slaughter?

Why do you think you deserve a chance at life
when you killed so many with the swift cut of a knife?
I hope death will come to take all of your might.
To take you away; to hide you from our sight.

You feel you grow stronger but your light surely dims.
I want to watch as it goes, in your confinement grim.
I cannot deny how hard I have sought to find you.
I watch you from afar, silhouette clear from my view.

I'm the survivor of your chaos and now
you only have days to live.

You act alright, but deep inside you know something is wrong.
A silent fight over everything; it's lasted so long.
Little have this, little know, the sadness within you very soul.
You feel heavy; you feel the guilt.  You've never felt so low.
You panic, so frantic.  I laugh at all your measly pleas.
I'll never let you go, even while you beg on bended knees.
I am anger; I am torment.  I'm your every fear.
I am emotion; I am feelings.  I am always here.
You can't escape, you can't run from any of this temptation.
I'll be here waiting your return.  This is your occupation.
Take your time enjoying life looking over your shoulder.
I'll be watching at all times as you grow older.
Go to a bar, get drunk, stay out late, and sleep in,
but you'll never forget me, the sadness within.

I cry in barren deserts, the tears stolen from me.
My eyes are dry, like the sand, washed away by the sea.
My hands are scarred and calloused; my shirt is torn away.
My feet are burnt and blistered by the dawn of a new day.

The time that's left is dwindling; I feel I have it all.
I count down the minutes 'till the time when you next call.
My soul is crushed and withered; your name is on my lips.
You'll be the one who saves me from this deathly abyss.

Inside me, a cavity where my heart likes to hide.
It's turned to stone, cold and hard, by despair, hate, and pride.
The world around me is blurred, a mirage to my eyes.
The sun's scorching my peeled skin.  My head is filled with lies.

The time that's left is dwindling; I feel I have it all.
I count down the minutes 'till the time when you next call.
My soul is crushed and withered; your name is on my lips.
You'll be the one who saves me from this deathly abyss.

I cry out in this lonely world, "Help me survive the night!"
You responded with your name, my eyes bathed in your light.
Too bad I'm trapped in my mind, slowly, surely dying.
I pull myself towards the shore; I've given up on trying.
This desert that I have crossed, surrounded by the sea,
was my final obstacle in my journey to be free.
I watch my body float away from me, washed away from the shore.
And strangely, it begins to rain; I dance in the downpour.

I have beaten this battle; I'm so close to getting out.
The rain has quenched the desert from the never-ending drought.
But something is wrong; something's different in my mind.
Who cares anymore?  I'm leaving this state behind.
I leave my earthly being as my mind becomes a blank slate.
I watch as my family cries; who knew that this would be my fate?
They wanted to end my suffering; they ended my pain.
But I was close to being saved; they took my life in vain.

How do you feel being trapped inside that beautiful mind of yours?
Your eyes like to wander, your hands like to write, about a fantasy world.
This world is not real, yet you claim it to be
a vision of your reality.
A barren void, a terrible hole,
a cavity inside your soul.

Why don't you tell someone of
your feelings called hate, opposite of love?
The time we have is limited, your mind quickly grows older.
So why don't you take a long rest on someone else's shoulder?

How can anyone know the pain that you feel?
No one can help you; you're behind the wheel.
You daydream in this world waiting just for you.
Why won't you except their offers?  Why?  They know what you've been through.
I promise things will be alright as you scream and try to write.
Please, I beg of you, tell anyone of your hate.
But by the time you finally speak, it will be too late.
You disregard all your worth and things others value.
You simply ignore me when I say, "I need you and love you."

Why don't you tell someone of
your feelings called hate, opposite of love?
The time we have is limited, your mind quickly grows older.
So why don't you take a long rest on someone else's shoulder?

I'm here for you; that gut feeling is me.
I'm just your conscience, which I'll always be.
But when you think so hard you shrink, try not to hurt yourself in any way.
This is where the devil hides, planting the smallest seeds inside
your mind, as it slips into confusion,
a deeply sorrowful state called depression.
You think you're delusional,
but that fades and leads to a confession.

Yet sadly, now, things have gotten worse.
All of it feels as if somehow you're cursed.
You want to run away from it all,
but you simply can't resist the devil's call.
You plan your escape from reality,
and plan your trip across the infinite sea.
Your fantasy world is where you'll go, ignoring what others say and believe.
Hear me and my reason!  Stop listening to him!  Do not be deceived!
It's as though you're deaf to my words; taking a deep breath in, you sigh.
Hiding, listening to the devil, I yell for you to stop, but you pull the trigger and. . . . . .