In the car,
on my way back home,
a song sung to me as it traveled through my headphones to my ears.
"I've been thinkin' bout you
for quite a while,
You're on my mind everyday and every night."
It tickled my heart and warmed my soul as it continued playing.
It made me think of you.
Every lyric,
every melody,
every tempo,
It sent me straight back to you.
I had to tell you how it made me feel,
I couldn't contain it any longer.
But it's like you read my mind.
You knew exactly what song I was talking about.
You've searched for it for years, but never got the chance to find it again.
And from there on,
it became our signature song.

I'm sorry if i annoyed you.
I'm sorry if i didn't know what stop meant.
It was my fault you were getting flustered at me.
It was my fault you flung my arm away and turned your back on me,
walking off into the distance.
i tried catching up,
but my heart pinched every time I witnessed your presence stray further and further away.
All I saw was a blurred figure.
My legs started to drag behind me as I tried to hold back my tears in embarrassment.
People were around vaguely noticing the situation.
Of course, my body couldn't take it any longer.
At a nearby school,
I sat on the grassy field feeling the warm tears racing down my cheeks as the sun slowly started to hide behind the trees.
There was no way to stop the agony.
You walked back home and the day hadn't even begun for us.

I would be roadkill if it wasn't for you.
The street lights in the neighborhood were never safe.
Red meant stop and green meant go,
but no matter how long you stood,
red would stare dead at you,
never changing.
When can I walk across?
When is it safe?
If I dip a toe onto the street would the car stop?
How do I know?
The streets were so jagged and confusing it was a lost to who turns right and who's turn was it to walk.
But you.
You grabbed my hand and showed me the ropes.
You lived there much longer than me so I should know.
It didn't matter if the green would never appear,
it didn't matter how many cars drove by in a millisecond.
"When it's safe, you walk."

You knew you crushed me.
The minute you came back from your family trip, everything took a ugly turn for the hurt.
I never would've imagined myself sitting on my bathroom floor crying my eyes out as my heart ached every mid-second.
My religious beliefs shouldn't have been a major issue,
But everything I believed in you tore against it.
It's never safe to let snakes hiss in your ear.
They tell you things that change your perspective on life.
Negative perspectives.
I didn't want to leave the bathroom but I knew I couldn't stay in there forever.
You apologized the next day for your actions,
but ever since then,  
I knew it wasn't safe grounds anymore.

This was new to me.
I never in my life experienced something this raw, human, beautiful.
Of course,
I was nervous,
but my heart was safe with him and I knew I didn't want to experience that with anyone else ever again but with him.  
The pain wasn't excruciating but sharp like a small razor blade cut to the finger.
You whispered in my ear telling me everything was going to be alright.
Just breath.
Slow and steady I began to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Everything fell into place as I started to feel what every other female felt.
Lust.
It was a brand new step to my beginnings of womanhood.
I'm glad I got to experience it with you.

It was the day he left me.
I was crushed miserably.
Thought my life was over.
Everyday of my life I was crying, gasping for air to even function properly.
My chest was tight as my heart tried to break through my rib cage.
I was weak, trembling every time I grabbed onto something, legs not being able to hold me up.  
Continuous headaches and nightmares.
Continuous sleeping and insomnia.
The urge to do anything I pleased wasn't there.
Day by day by day I wasn't healing and I swore up and down we would be together...

It was so obscure for you to come back into my life.
I wasn't expecting it.
You asked me to meet you at our local McDonald's.
Right then and there,
I should've said no.
I should've turned my back and not pursued a 2 month interaction with you.
But I chose to open my soul back to you and deter my wall of avoidance I had for you.
My wishes and dreams to be yours once again was a false imagination to the naked eye.
You even told me it would never happen but I chose to be stubborn and naive.
The things you do when you're in love.
I could say this was all your fault, but I played a part in it too.

I was there, in your bedroom.
Doing what I always do best.
Your mother was ready to pop anytime soon,
I just happened to be the lucky one to experience it.
I seen the growth of a new life happening inside her every time I stopped by.
But that day,
that day was it.
Her contractions were at a all time high like never before seen.
I felt obligated to help as much as possible,
This was the love of my life's mother.
I was the right hand he needed when she needed to walk out the door into the car.
He drove while I kept company.
I sat and watched the kids as he took her into the hospital.
The whole night back home I had realized that I had witness a pregnancy happening.
I was part of something no one else can be a part of in his next life.

I wake up to the honey buttered toast on a thin china plate.
Chamomile just at the right temperature.
Brown sugar sprinkled on my fresh strawberries.
If I want any caramel macchiato there’s still some left on the stove warm for me.
Peeled and sliced oranges with crisp bacon.
.
.
.

All that you promised to make me when we move in together and start a life together. Guess I'll never get that Sunday breakfast.

He's not coming back.
Leave it alone.
He's not going to call.
He's not going to text.
There will be no ringing of the doorbell,
No knocking of the door.
He's not coming tomorrow.
He's not coming next week.
He's not even going to come next month.
Years will go by you won't see him.
You're not going to hear his voice.
You're not going to see his face.
He's gone.
Just like that.
With a blink of an eye and and a twinkle of a star.
Flash of light.
Gone.
Seasons will pass but he won't pass your house.
He is now a fiction of your imagination.
He never existed.
He's a replayed cassette tape of a vivid once had.
A chapter you've folded a crease on to reread again.
He's nothing but a memory.
A ghostly wind that overcasts you.
Broken clock stuck on 12 o'clock
He's never going to show his face again.
He's out of existence.
Let it be.
It's over.

Barack Obama, first US President of African origin.
Langston Hughes, earliest innovators of then-new literary jazz
                                     poetry.
Angela Davis, African American political activist, and author
Coretta Scott King, author, activist, and civil rights leader
Katherine Johnson, African-American mathematician

Anita Baker, African American singer-songwriter
Muhammed Ali, African American professional boxer and activist
Erykah Badu, African American singer-songwriter activist
Rosa Parks, the mother of the freedom movement and civil rights
Ida B Wells, African-American journalist and feminist
Colin Powell, statesman and retired four-star general in US Army
Al Sharpton, civil rights activist and Baptist minister
N*elson Mandela, South African anti-apartheid revolutionary
                                   political leader