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 Sep 2018
lovelywildflower
I apologize that I have been absent
My mind has been running away from me
and I keep losing it
I've been chasing it this whole time
I cannot lose myself again
I'm sorry

I apologize that I have been absent
My lungs have been full of aching sadness
and it's hard to breathe
I've been taking deeper breaths
I cannot let myself drown again
I'm sorry

I apologize that I have been absent
My body is too weak to move
and I don't know where I am half the time
I've been trying to connect with it
I cannot let myself slow down again
I'm sorry

I apologize that I have been absent
My demons decided to hit me hard
and hid away the part of me that loves
I've been trying to find my feelings
I cannot view the world feeling nothing again
I'm sorry

But in the end
I shouldn't have to apologize for any of this
I'm trying to be okay again
I don't owe anyone anything
 Sep 2018
Charles Bukowski
some say we should keep personal remorse from the
poem,
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
but jezus;
twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
my
paintings too, my best ones; its stifling:
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
why didn't you take my money? they usually do
from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
next time take my left arm or a fifty
but not my poems:
I'm not Shakespeare
but sometime simply
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
there'll always be mony and ****** and drunkards
down to the last bomb,
but as God said,
crossing his legs,
I see where I have made plenty of poets
but not so very much
poetry.

— The End —