Publish - Hello Poetry

Sep 2018

Lexie

Toxic

I was just a hotel for your emotions

Check in.
Check out.

Toxic Relationships.

Sep 2018

Lexie

Canvas

I am an artist.
And, Waiting?
She is my canvas.

This is probably the most accurate thing I have ever written.

Sep 2018

Lexie

Selfish Memory

Maybe it is selfish.
To miss who you used to be,
when you loved me.

Sep 2018

Lexie

Worth

I will always remind you that you are worth it
Because there is nothing you would ever do
That would ever
ever
Stop you from being worth it.

You are worthy of the whole world, that's why it was made for you

Please do not forget this
Please do not forget me
Please do not doubt your worth

Even dollars broken into change have value
And such as you are broken
You are not spent out

Sep 2018

Lexie

Sleep

I do not know what restful sleep is

I have to many memories that dance through my hair like little devils and climb into my ears to stab away at my mind during the quiet of the night when the moon is full

The radiance of the light shines into the sockets of my head and into the hollows of my heart, only to cast shadows in an empty cage that has grown cold in the absence of light

When I am awake my mind is like a pencil with nothing to put to paper only scratches of graphite so vain in there writing, so I do not know that as quickly as the sun sets a waterfall of feelings floods through my veins and bleeds onto the wallpaper in my head and down the walls

The tossing and the turning that my body does, a marathon of running, to get away from all that is chasing me and trying to peg me to a board of doubts and dreams, a torture rack of sorts

But, when I sleep next to you and my eyes pop open in the middle of the night and my hands shake with anxiety, when I turn over in the darkness and feel your body next to me, I have something to cling to besides the darkness eating away at me, just a little bit of light to get through the cracks in my facade

So I can close my eyes again, take a breath and sleep, and know that everything will be okay

Sep 2018

Lexie

Gentle

As gentle as I go into the night
It is not good
And whence I return from such a depth
Cast off and abandoned from all I foolishly hold dear
Everything next to my heart is ripped away
Leaving me to be bound in agony
For all that is good is tangible
Still I cannot touch it
And all that has worth is so quickly spent out on fools and folly alike

She is a dream
And a fool all at once
Bound to the same stars as many souls before her
Like rockets set into space her mind wanders
And such as the sun shines so is she light
But there is more inside her than has been felt in the whole world
Compact and thoughtful
Overflowing and lacking all at once

He is a nightmare and a dragon
Breathing fire and flame to the wick of a candle soul
He is bitter and salty, a handful of the bottom of the ocean
You could drink and drink and your thirst never be quenched,
but you savor the taste in your mouth and you dare not spit it out
Just a kiss, to save the world
Just a hand, to lift up the sky
Just a heart to beat again, if you can find it bound within your chest
A mystery is this; if such a thing still remains
To long it has been left cold
To long, to long

Still the night calls
The twinkle of the stars enticing Though who can touch the celestials
Gentle she calls and gentle she is
Though strength has not abandoned her

Sep 2018

Lexie

Incesant

My mind is filled with the hum of the universe
In the 2am hour
When the souls forget their troubles they carry through the day

Sep 2018

Lexie

Relationships

Just because you love him
Doesn't mean that he is good for you
Sometimes looking for something better
Is finding yourself

Sep 2018

Lexie

Grief

how much of my guilt do I owe the dead

Sep 2018

Lexie

Never Enough, Until It's Gone

You say it is a beautiful thing to know me
I say you are a beautiful thing to be known

You say I am a dream and a star
I say you are the whole sky and all she holds

You say I am an ocean and a boat
I say you taste of salt and memories

You say I am all you could imagine and more
I say you are everything I could need, every breathe I could breathe

You say I am truth and light
And it breaks my heart to know, that the lies and shadows in you only wanted to eat up all the good in me
That the gentleness of my heart was a meal to suffice for such a wretch

Still I offer it up.

Foolish and selfless as I am.

You say I am beautiful and whole
And I wish that I could believe such things
If such things were so

You say I am the whole world
And I cannot help but ask why you would need so much, and if I was that much... why am I not enough for you?

For when I ask for a grain of salt all you have to give me was sand, still I did not complain

Maybe that is how endings are born out of beginnings, you threaded lies in needles only meant for dreams
Sewed my mouth shut
Just so you could say I had seams

Sep 2018

Lexie

Metamorphosis

If only you had loved me long enough for the caterpillars in my stomach to become butterflies

Sep 2018

Lexie

light steps

every step i take with you
though set at my normal pace
it seems the seconds are set
at thrice the speed of normal time

and i spill words out of my mouth
they trickle across our hands
out across the tar of the road
and into each others quiet souls

you are my companion
my friend and butterfly confidant
we have walked years at each others sides
though never in the other's shoes

you have read into the depths of my soul
and you did not run as soon as you saw scars
i have seen into the darkness of your eyes
and still i see the light, it is radiant

and such is this that God would give us
the one that we would need
so that we never have to walk alone
oh my beautiful friend

i think if you shouted my name
no matter how great a distance
was separating you and i, my friend
i would hear it in my heart

you call out to all i am
for you know that i am made of such
the fallen bits of stars, dreams almost empty
and the sparks of a soul still burning

and i know you were wrought
out of every speck of untarnished sunlight
and all of the sunsets born into sunrises
only to be that which the world does not know

because you transcend all that brings you pain
you are greater than the height of the waves
seeking to pull you under in the storm
still i reach my hand to you, my friend

though words could fall me
and all the love catch in my throat
it is not bound to my chest
and i pout it out for such a time is this

that you would need me
for i have always needed you
because i think to fight alone is to lose
and to lose you i could not bare

and such a time is this
that we would strengthen each other
in the light of the candles so dim
in a world ruled by others wish and whim

and though the world deceive you
cast you out upon its streets
know that i believe you
you are all good things to me

even if you cannot see them
does not mean they are there
for you look out upon the ocean
but much is below the waves

we walk together still
through valley and over mountain
i turn back to see our steps
but their are to many, i cannot count them

I love you Tess

Sep 2018

Lexie

Oceans

You only loved me when the tide was out.