I've ******,
My friends make love

What about me
Attracts boys
Who only ****?

I've never made love.
Is it just bad luck?

What about me
Attracts boys
Who don't love?

I just want to have
A natural relationship
Not a business deal,
Where I'd use my body,
To buy love that isn't quite real.

Just someone care.
Just someone see.
I am not just a piece of meat.
I need warm arms around me,
And words so sweet.

Where are you
Boy,
Who can stand loving me?

Even though we no longer speak
Your expectations are what I try to meet.

I hope you like my long hair,
Even though I want it cut.
I sometimes see you stare.
I want to kiss you but,
The bad times were too many.
The consequences could be
Deadly.

Oh my boy,
I miss you.
I miss you smirking at me.
****, I miss you looking at me,
And not looking sad.
I miss when you would play mad,
Just to see my pouty face,
When you would kiss me with force,
Just to put me in my place.

Oh my boy,
I miss you.
And your
Smirking,
Sweet
face.

The French call an ******
"the little death"

looking at you,
(trace the curve of my neck
with your lips)

I would like to suggest-
(close your eyes and search
for the secrets of my body
with your tongue)

that is to say:
(put your hand in mine
don't let go.)

Darling,
let's die a little
tonight.

my mind is weary that
it has painted every blushing cheek
that I have ever kissed
every pair of lips
I may have dreamt them up
but with each heavy thought
I sink deeper in my flesh
and I'm deep with you
we need a new head rush
a vacation for a daze or two
we'll lay sand at the bedside
and find that each morning's an ocean
and the tide will tell us
how the future doesn't exist
maybe my brain will grow fonder
of what my heart likes

They say you hurt
The ones you love
The most.
I wonder how true
That must be.

I can't even bear to think
Of hurting you.
Yet you give out hurt
Like its a hobby.

With all the pain
You've put me through
You must love me
More than I could ever
Love you.

I want to dance around the room in just your shirt
and remember the way it felt to be alone with you.

♫There you were in your black dress/Moving slow to the sadness.♫

                                          (When I am too tired to move
                                                    and too lazy to think
                                             I will recall the distinct taste
                                                    you left in my mouth,
                                  imprinted on my tongue and in my heart;
like citrus
and melancholy,

like strawberries,
like fear.)

You know what?
I will fight
Because it's difficult
Because the lows are so ******* low
Because the night air chills my damp shirtsleeves
Because sometimes the walls are impenetrable
Because I do it the hard way
But really because
He always says it back

at any moment the reality that I have spent my life creating
will collapse into a thousand pieces, blanketing the ground
in fragments (of desires
that have lulled me to sleep at night with the hum of half-formed expectations)
only to be replaced with an undefinable hybrid emotion;

equal parts loss and anticipation.

I find my words inappropriately, overwhelmingly, unequivocally
inadequate
to describe something that could mean
everything &(or) nothing at all.

This is the way that you make me feel.

Your feelings are perplexing,
When I'm not *******.

Your affection is amiss,
I'm sure.

Do you know what you've fallen for?
The monster that you're feeding?
I don't want to hear that you love me,
I just want a firm beating.

You've seemed to have strayed from the trail,
My dear.
You've seemed to have lost your way.
No one will hear your wails,
My dear.
No one will find my prey.

you whisper against my skin and I look down at the cave that’s in my chest, gaping and dark and bottomless, shouts echoing off the walls. you never let me rest, tapping and tapping at the insides of my skull. an isolated night heaves up in front of me, motionless and quiet and all the while, tapping and tapping. I can’t eat for the sound, can’t sleep, but I listen and stare as shapes and seconds shift by and fog rolls into my eyes. tides rise and break in my stomach, swells crashing over my eyelids, threatening to escape my mouth.