I do not hate you.  
                                                       But I wish that I did.

(Maybe it would make this
     aching loneliness
easier to accept
if I understood
why

you were not worth
      the love
                  you lost.)

Comfy People

Certain people stick
They just do.
Some you want to get rid of
& Some want to get rid of you, too.

The only reason is comfortability.
After so long
It's still so comfortable
No matter what goes wrong.

After every fight
Its all okay.
You just want to kiss,
The perfect apology for everything you say

It's not love
More than lust
Maybe we just care
A bit more than much.

If I were a bird
you would have crushed
                                             my wings
in your grip;

too mesmerized by my
silent song
to notice the rapid beating
of my heart
against your palm
as I struggled

                                                to fly away.

I don’t know where I’m going
but I want to take you with me.

I will pack you in my suitcase,
next to the pants I’ll never wear,
and pull you out on rainy days
when I am missing home.

I will shower you clean with kisses
and iron away your creases
with my finger tips.
When I tuck you into bed
my body will be your blanket.

And while you sleep,
I will cradle my head against your chest,
a pillow I have never slept upon,

and count the number of heartbeats it takes
to realize that this is all just

wishful thinking.

You are like a sailor
who wants to forget the sea.

   And I am not the shore
   you cling to
   or the lighthouse
   that guided you home;

   I am the boat,
   left docked and
forgotten,
   and the waves
   that call you back
   to the life
   you were born

   to live.

I kind of love you
    when you’re drunk
    and you
    piece together words
    like a child would
    a broken vase;
quickly and clumsily,

like you are afraid of
being caught
by your own thoughts.

Out of habit
I sleep at the edge of the bed,
still unused to the
space you left behind.


(I still wake
                 reaching
for you in the dark;
finding only memories
           of the remnants
           of your
                warmth.)

If you were a painting,
You would take my breath away.
If you were a song,
You'd make hips sway.
Like the way the wind blows through my hair
And I hope and wish that maybe sometimes you stare.

I swore I had no emotion,
Until I fell for you.
I tried to stop this notion,
But there was no use.
You took my breath away,
Made my hips sway,
Twirl my hair, and hope you stare.

What is this emotion?
So strange it seems
To get butterflies
Even after the million and one times
You've looked at me.

It's still a lost cause
Wishing for your love
But I can still dream
For cold nights,
And a man's lips speaking words so sweet.

that we met
there was something in your eyes
that whispered,
"Love me."

;and something in my heart that shouted:
"Yes."

(I wish that you had heard.)

ly

aching
for the sound of
your voice

and the words
that will assure me

I am no longer

alone.

You make me hurt inside.
This kind of hurt that steals my breath and upsets my stomach.
This hurt is so big that I often wonder how it fits inside my body. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much, because it’s too much, because it’s tearing out of my guts.
I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you hate I hate you hate hate hate hate hate hate.
I want to not know you, I want to forget you, I want to never hear of or even think of your existence again as long as I breathe.
It comes in massive explosions, this hurt.
A landmine in my body, it goes off when you touch my thoughts.
Twisting, searing, high-pitched hurt.
I want to be left alone.
Please please please please please please
Just leave me alone.