Powerful words stick in your head
“Your fat”
“Your ugly”
“Your not ******”
“Your worthless “

You put your blinders on because
“I love him”
“What was I thinking”
“He makes me happy”

Abuse in any form is degrading
Verbal
Physically
Emotionally

Don’t be fooled by love
Look beyond the words or actions of another

I was a victim of verbal and ****** abuse
I didn’t see anything wrong until I got out of the relationship
Look further into yourself and make the right decisions

Don’t be another victim of this cruel thing called
ABUSE

I personally didn’t know you, But so many did
Maybe not on a personal level, your smile was sure off the grid
Your crafty items you sold to many
Unbeknownst to many, it’s how you made a living
You didn’t have a house or a place to call home
But you had your daily tea made with love to give you a go
Unfortunately your life was cut short but that’s ok
God needed a crafty angel to brighten up his way
To heaven you were called to shed light upon the angels
You will never be forgotten to all who came across your joyful spirit
May you Rest In Peace, dear Liz, and let your soul be at peace.

Tonight as many of us celebrate the Christmas magic
May we remember all that (can’t) celebrate
As they are.....
        Alone
          Sick
             Homeless
                   Dying
                       In Heaven
                            Fighting Overseas

As we all enjoy our time together with family and friends
      Let us bow our heads
          Take a moment of silence
               Pray for all those who won’t be celebrating this Christmas Day...

Today was the day to start a new life
You got cold feet and didn’t want to be his wife
You ****** up and ruined his and our family’s ties
Acting so happy in love but it was all lies
You never grieved the loss of dad
Now your left alone unhappy and sad
Maybe you should have thought this all through
The ending you wanted didn’t come true
The family is broken and guess what...
It’s all because of YOU!

Take a moment
Step outside of your body
As though your are your own ghost
Look at yourself
Do you like what you see?
Is this really the person you want to be?

What if we all could revert outside of ourselves
Seeing how people really view you

Would you be
Happy
Sad
Surprised
Shocked
Angry
Or
Perfectly happy with who you are

Look deeper within yourself and then maybe people will see the real you...

Have you ever just back and thought about your journey of life?
Beginning from the day you were born to the current time
The ups and downs of the years gone by
The struggles and happiness of your hopes and dreams
From the first day of school
Your first dance
The first kiss
The first heartbreak
The first time you had to say goodbye
To a loved one who was always by your side
The first time you got drunk with your best friends after homecoming or prom
Graduation day that you never thought would come
Finally make it to college (sometimes you never thought would happen)
Never actually liking the “college life” and saying **** it
I wanted to be a dancer my whole life
Training for years but my future didn’t look bright
I taught in studios and been on stage
Dancing and singing my life away
I always thought this is where I would spend my life
But those plans didn’t work out so right

Fast forward to my early 20’s when I thought I was in love with an incredible man
As I mentioned before I was sexually abused but blinded my “love” for many years
Being shamed for being to fat when I weighed 110 pounds if that
Never felt wanted by him
I just wanted my life back

I began to now self inflict harm to myself to release the anger I was feeling from him
He broke up with me many times and said we were just “friends with benefits “ one last time.
We worked together one last time for the annual fair on the last night
A group of us were walking around and he disappeared for a group of girls he had found
Thank God bc best friend was there with me
He sat with me for hours since he was worried about me and what  I would do

That’s the day my best friend kissed me for the first time
Oh man did the butterflies wiggle around
I never thought him and I would be a thing
He was always on the side of the stage watching in the wings

A short couple months later we went to Atlantic City for the night
He looked at me and asked me if a great time
I relied yes it was a lot of fun he smiled and said but it was “perfect “
That was the moment he got down on one knee and said “will you marry me”
That’s the moment when my my life had changed.

Not long after that my dad got very sick and it was a very long journey from then on...
I didn’t know if my dad would make my wedding or even walk me down the aisle.
He did make my wedding, he couldn’t walk, but he was in a wheelchair by my side going down the aisle with me

That day was the happiest day so far
Married life is nothing but amazing
Even the struggles of daily life I wouldn’t have it any other way

My dad took a turn for the worst and passed away
I miss him so much everyday

My mom moved on and was getting remarried
The family of 9 now has split
We all were happy but was it too soon, for her to love on
Well funny thing now the wedding is called off

My husband and I are so much in love
Our plan for the future is to move down south

Now that I spilled out a lot in this writing
Let’s all sit back and think about how far we all have come in our
Crazy
   Loving
Happy
             Sad
Most amazing
       Thing called
                     LIFE

Grasp anything sharp in my fist
Press it to your skin
                           It’s pure bliss
Bubbles of blood start to seep out
Releasing your struggles
                   and
                        Self doubt

I was forced to do things I didn’t want to do
Blinded by
            “LOVE”
I thought it he was being true
Throw me on the bed or wherever he wanted
Made me do things I never actually wanted...to do
He was my first and I’ll never forget
The hurt and pain he caused me and sometimes still does
I carry all this regret
Why couldn’t I see what was happening to me
In all those years I just couldn’t see
How you were abusing and degrading me
Forcing me to do things I didn’t want to do
Blinded by
               “LOVE”
That in the end
Wasn’t
T
  R
    U
       E....

We all have SCARS
Whether
         Physical
              or
          Mental
The difference is
If you chose to
Embrace them
Or hide them from the world

Free
F
   A
      L
        L
          I
           N
             G
Feeling alive
Spreading your
W
I
N
G
S
Like a bird in the sky

No end in sight
Just the journey ahead

Imagine the stars are at your feet
Your dreams are within reach
If you just let go and be
F
A
   L
     L
       I
        N
          G
               FREE