Feeling broken
Purposely caused by the beauty of pain
No longer dancing through the hourglass of life
Picking up the broken pieces
One shard at a time

Why now?
Why all of a sudden?
I don’t understand your logic or thinking about what is happening
It doesn’t make sense
Take back everything you once gave us
And tell us you’ll get the items promised to you in future...
We have had these items for many years
And just like that you want them back
Tearing us more apart and making us shed more tears
What’s your logic?
What’s your motive?
Can you explain?
Take back everything I don’t want it at all
I want to disengage myself from this negativity you bring within me
Anxiety and stress levels rise high but now I’m Focusing on my husband and I for once
Forgetting about untold stories written in this books ending...
Now it’s time to say ...


THE END

Like a boat sailing in the wind
Crashes through the forceful waves
Pouring out your emotions like the fish swimming through the waters
The feeling of freeness as you release all the
Hurt
Pain
Anxiety
Sadness
Guilt
Confusion
Anger
But also having the feeling of love
As your surrounded and being engulfed by the simplicity of the open waters with no end in sight
Be fearless and release all the emotions out in the open
You’ll begin to feel the heaviness of the weight being lifted
Like the anchor being pulled out from the ocean deep
You still got fight left in you
Set sail across the great big ocean blue

What is happening to our world?
Mass destruction
Natural disasters
Unpredictable acts of terror
Is anywhere safe anymore?
Can we all not live in fear?
Are we all wrapped up in the bubble of our own city within we live?
Could something happened in our “safe living”
Fear is living the unknown to our own destiny
Unfortunately everything happens for a reason
We may not knowingly make the right decisions
Or know otherwise of the prediction of our future
Make the best of the days ahead because you never know when tragic will strike at your feet..

Sitting on the sidewalk with nothing left
Thinking of my past and what I have left
A picture I hold of someone I loved
Is all I have is who up above
I shiver at night knowing he’s still here
I’m left alone hearing all my fears
The memory I hold within my heart
Will always be there in a shadow of the night

One day
Take a walk in my shoes
Don't forget to put your rose colored glasses on
It will give a whole new meaning to the perspective of life

The sun is shining
It's a normal day
In a blink of an eye the sky turns dark
The heavens open up and something bad is about to start
All of a sudden a blast a light fills the sky
Cutting off the power one light at a time
We're left in the darkness and fear the unknown
What is happening?
Everything in the city has been blown
Everyone is in a frantic, scared and alone
Minutes go by, hours have past
We walk around to see what happened so fast
A few blocks down the power is on
It's like nothing has happened but what went wrong
Why did our city just go dark and everything just suddenly stop?
You never know when something will happen
You just need to face it head on and see what next will happen...

Is it normal to feel anger or to be upset when seeing others pregnant or having children?
Knowing that it hasn't happened for us gives me anxiety
Why do I feel this way?
Can I make it stop?
I'm happy for everyone but suddenly feel stress when it's on social media or in real life.
Why can't I be blessed to carry a child?
Why can't we have a family?
Is this normal?
Will I ever be happy?
I just want to scream and cry
I love my life
I love my husband
But why can't we be blessed?
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Anxiety through the roof..

I had a heart to heart with someone tonight and was trying to help them through a difficult time. I sit here and think of my past and the things I have personally dealt with in life. The mistakes, the regrets, the things I wish I would have done, the thing I have done and much more. I often ponder my choices and the path of where life has led me. I have always said "everything happens for a reason" and I stick with that to this day. The "what ifs" are just a formality of the choices you have made. I had to go through the bad times of relationships to get where I am today, married to my best friend and couldn't be happier.
I had to deal with my dad becoming sick and not being able to take care of himself. I watched him wither away to nothing, and saw him dying. I wouldn't change anything I did during that time of his life because I did and said all I could to him. I still haven't dealt with him passing but I know he is always here with me.
I had to deal with my families home catching on fire and our childhood home being destroyed. Even though things were damaged and destroyed, no one was home, so we didn't lose anything. Things are replaceable, people are not. I wouldn't change how that day happened because it gave me a better perspective on life.
I, as everyone else, deal with things differently and emote their emotions differently, but I know no matter what life throws at you you can get through it. Everything does happen for a reason, good or bad, it's just they way to want to deal with it at the time or when you are ready to deal with it.
I can fully admit that I have no confidence in myself in anything I do, or think that I'm the best at anything but I do believe I am here for a reason. Be a great friend, work hard, love everyone, and be a supporter. This is my role in life.
Take everyday for what you make it and know you have a purpose in life and deal with it. We all have been through a lot no matter how young or old you are but we are all dealing with something. It's how you choose to deal and choose to embark forward on the path of life.

You have left your paw prints on my heart
I hoped this day would never come that we would have to part
Part ways from each other and say goodbye
Off to the rainbow bridge you will fly
You'll always be my Charlie and my "fur"ever friend
One day I'll meet you again at the rainbow bridges bend...

Going to bed fearing the unknown
Will I wake up in the morning and not have a home
The water will rise and damage will be done
The path of the storm is not yet done
Rain is falling
Wind is howling
People are trapped
In desperate need of a way out
Waters are rising
Fires are breaking out
The worst isn't over
More destruction is to come
No doubt...

One day your family brings home a puppy
He becomes apart of the family and goes everywhere with you
Taking walks
Playing catch
Cuddling together
Loving each other
Years later his life takes a turn for the worst
He becomes very sick and no medication will help
You know the inevitable answer is in sight
The hardest choice you and your family has to make
Saying goodbye to your dog that became family
You make his last couple hours of life filled with fun, car rides and snacks
When the time comes you say goodbye as you watch him close his eyes
Even though you feel a emptiness in your heart
You know it was for the best and he is not suffering anymore
As you crossed over the rainbow bridge
Don't ever forget us
Because
We will never forget you boo...