When I get up I cry to the sun, to the sky!
I believe that I Can fly.
We come to world naked like a seed,
We grow with speed...


In our mind people plant ideas and give advice,
Instant confidence for the wise.
Our brain with millions of rules of discipline,
Enjoy the mountain with a beautiful green.



To believe always that dreams come true,
The universe made everything for you.
The reality can’t change, can move in your direction,
Confidence, love and imagination.



We are human with smile and grace,
Instant confidence in your face.
To love the rainbow and the butterfly,
Instant confidence up the sky...


Warmest regards.
Victor Marques

Your mind attached
right now..
to things we used
to know
wrapped around the cortex
refuse to slip away...

The life we used to live
a distant thought before
has reemerged with vigor
dusting brains
for colored prints and more...

My mind connects
to thoughts
of memories’ inner space.
The reason for it all,
I used to wonder why..
it vanished with the days...

We held within our minds
the age of reason’s way.
Reminders of what used to be.
The life we used to live,
is all I know today.

Do you feel that weight?

So heavy on your shoulders,

Dragging you so far down.

The day always seems colder.



Is there anyone who cares?

When life is failing you,

Leaving you left so alone.

Never knowing what you're going through.



Are you too scared?

To ask help from a friend,

Afraid to try and take their hand.

Act fine, when it's all pretend.



When was the last time?

You were comforted, felt wanted,

That you had that warm embrace.

Before this moment of being haunted.



So are you fed up asking questions?

When no answers are coming your way,

As depression is in the same room.

And depression refuses to go away.

I can't tell you
How many times
I've hit backspace
Trying to write
This.. this.. poem
About you

About your death
And how it sits
So uneasy
In my blood cells

The horror of it
Plays in my mind
And I wish it didn't
I wish it couldn't

I see it all
Everyday
So vividly

The violent rage
Fueled by psilocybin
That you went into
As you slammed your
Fist through glass

The faces of the
Officers as you
Bled to death
On the floor
In front of your mother

The screams that ring
Through my ears
From that night
Slice through
My unstable soul

I miss you
Plain and simple
I wish there was
Somehow more time
Or a way to
Trade

I don't think that's
Possible

But I really would
Trade

Because the thought
Of my best friend
Losing her
Brother
Of sixteen
To drugs
Simply

Haunts my bones

The father is an abuser,
The mother is a user,
The child is forgotten…

The father is an abuser.
The father beats his way to happiness.
The souls he crushed are just an inch,
Compared to the miles of lust.
Manipulation made from fear
He embeds in the woman’s ear,
As he says he loves her to death.

The mother is a user.
The mother beats herself to happiness,
Her husband abuses her health,
But no more than she abuses it herself.
****** destroyed the once heroine,
Detoxified once,
But it’s there again.
Forever will the drug be her medicine.

Your pupils were
Pinpricks
Last Wednesday
And I swear your words
Were slurred
Just a bit

Your mouth was in a
Constant frown
And you warned me
To stay
Away

But I didn't want to

Instead
I asked you what it
Was like
To breathe fire
And swallow glass

I was oh so curious
About the
Syringe
Cemented into your
Left arm

I needed to know
Why you felt the
Need
To inject yourself
With such
Addictive poison

You claimed that it was
All about the
Rush
And the way it made you feel
Alive

But I stood there
Confused
Because I couldn't possibly
Comprehend
How the drug that's killing you
Is somehow
Helping you live

I paused
And chose my words
Carefully

"You know,
Any addiction at all
Is just a
Hopeless reach for
Happiness.."

You laughed in my face
And promised me
That you were not
Addicted
To the drug
Or the high

But simply addicted
To the feeling
Of being alive

And again I was baffled
Because
I feel alive
Every time I fly towards the sky
On a swing set

And I feel alive
When I'm holding a child's hand
As she spins around

And I feel alive
When the Autumn breeze whips
My porcelain face

And I feel alive
When I etch my shattered heart
Onto paper

And I feel alive
When I hear a song I love
On the radio

And I feel alive
When I'm forced
To watch you die

"The only thing
I remember clearly
Is taking a
Shot
With you
In the kitchen.
Everything after that
Is a total and complete
Blur.."

I mumbled the morning
After
Our night together
Alone
In your basement

Truth be told
I remembered it all then
And still remember it
Now
Years later

I sat on the edge of your bed
Peering into your eyes
As you held your old acoustic
And hummed melodies
To me
In a way you never had
Before

You breezed past all of our
Favorite tunes
Sometimes even daring
To sing a few words
Along the way
"Well maybe I,
Just set aside,
The fact that you were,
Broken hearted..."

And at the time
I thought you were
Amazing
But I think it was just
The *****
Thinking for me
Again

And when I laid down
Because the spins had
Finally
Kicked in
You put your guitar
Down
And asked why I had
Shut my eyes
So early


The night was still
Young
And I was still
Drunk
And the ceiling still
Spun


I tried to stay awake
And talk to you
About whatever you were
Ranting about
You said it was important
But it was so hard to
Focus

My ears eventually
Tuned into your
Signal
And before I realized it
You were approaching me
About things that
I really didn't
Want to talk about

You went on
And on
About "us"
And what we meant to
Each other
And how we were clearly
Still
Attracted to
One another

And maybe even
Still
In love


You spoke so seriously
On our relationship
As a whole
Friends or otherwise

And all that I could do
In my state of
Mind
Was giggle

And before I knew it
Your hands were touching
Parts of me that
I wasn't exactly
Comfortable with

And I wasn't sure if
I was allowed to feel
Violated
Or not

But I started screaming
At the top of my lungs
And I
Rejected you
Over and over again
And you stopped

Thank God
You stopped


The worst part
Was the look on your face
When you realized
We would never really be
Together again

The worst part
Was the way you gazed down
When I realized
I just completely broke you
In half


The worst part
Was the way you stayed
With me
That night even though
I shouted "No!"
Twenty-seven times.

You sat at the edge of the bed
Staring at me
As I pretended to sleep
And ignore
What had just occurred
Minutes before



"When will we ever
Figure this out?"
You finally asked

My eyes snapped open
And I whispered to the
Ocean depths of your
Deep blue walls

"Maybe
Never..."

I always feel my best with pulsing veins
of Absolut or Johnnie Walker neat,
or devil’s dust to take away my pain,
a thin syringe injecting hell’s deceit.
Though sorrow loses strength with needle sting
and moods arise with belts of liquid heat,
I know the tingling twitch will always bring
electric blood when morning comes to greet.
But still I struggle with the current’s craze,
euphoric numb that always plugs and sways
the battle in-between the nights and days,
the sunset hour with all its shades of grays
where all the choices made are surely wrong-
I wake at dusk and start my morning strong.

I went to that well again and again
And never refused what my lips desired,
But after a while I knew deep within
The cost would be steep for what I acquired.
I turned a deaf ear and then a blind eye,
The well was defiled and yet I still drew
And drank my bitter fill of every lie,
Until I was nauseous with what I knew.
Then daybreak’s dawning and with it came grace.
My soul was washed in an epiphanous rain
That fell on me like a lover’s embrace
To grant me ablution erasing the stain
That clouded my eyes and hindered my heart
-I’ll never again feel life’s torn apart.