I was still in love with you on your bad days
When you wanted to be nowhere, nothing,
When you disappeared under the covers and
I felt them shake with sobs and the first thing you said
When you felt my hand trailing up your spine
Was, “I’m sorry, love. Did I wake you up?”
Sometimes, with puffy, red eyes, you’d tell me
To leave you. You’d tell me that loving you was
A waste of my time and that I deserved more
Than you could ever be, but when you fell against
The front door, kicking and screaming at me
For giving you a reason to stay that you didn’t want,
I was there. Even when I was the only string
On your finger, the only thing keeping you from
Floating away, I loved you.
At night, when the sound of rain falling on the windowsill
Kept me awake, you’d tell me what your world was like.
Sometimes it would scare me, just like it did you,
But I told you that you could stay in mine awhile.
Sometimes you would stop talking mid-sentence
And I would ask you what was wrong.
When you said nothing at all, I knew you hadn’t
Said, “nothing at all.” I knew there was a difference.
You said you didn’t understand me, why I would
Stay with you when you were like this, and I said,
"I’m in love with you," eleven times over
Until I thought, for about an hour,
You believed me.