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 Dec 2017
Savannah Charlish
I am gently teaching my heart to move on
There are nights she still asks for you
Moments when I have to remind her why you left

She asks me often how we lost you
And every time I softly whisper,
*”You are not the one who lost in this story.”
 Nov 2017
Savannah Charlish
Every time a man is kind to me
In a way that you failed to be
I feel the burning from beneath the scars
As they unknowingly run their hands over places that your finger prints branded themselves onto me

Every time a man goes out of his way to show even the slightest affection
I spiral into confusion of not   knowing if I should believe anything you said
Because even though you told me you loved me all the time
You never made an effort to show me you loved me
You never randomly called or wrote me letters or called me beautiful out of nowhere
You would just say I love you like a recording always ready to be played when the timing was right



Every time a man treats me the way you always told me I should be treated
Even though you failed to treat me that way
I cannot appreciate their kindness but am left with the aching question:
Why wasn't I enough for you?
 Sep 2017
Savannah Charlish
You were a good thing for a wonderful period of time
And then you were a terrible thing for a long period of time

And it was this
Watching you change and our tangled lives slowly unweaving themselves from each other
Which taught me the beginning of the complexities of human beings
 Aug 2017
Savannah Charlish
There is a box
On the top shelf
In the corner of my closet
That I have to climb if I want to reach it

It is filled with everything left over from us

I don't open it anymore
Most weeks go by and I forget it's even there

I hope you're happy
And I hope sometimes you think about me too
 Jul 2017
Savannah Charlish
This is your last poem my love
You have taken enough of my words and I will now give them to someone else
Eternity will read of you but I no longer love you
I have let you go

So go
Chase your dreams and conquer your demons
Fill your soul with unimaginable joy
We are no longer tied together
I have cut the last string
There is nothing left of us

But if you ever get lost
And look back to the moments in which you loved me
Remember it always as time when you were so tenderly and unconditionally
*Loved
 Jul 2017
Savannah Charlish
How positively twisted is life
That for years I spent writing you letters thanking you for being the love of my life

And now only a year has passed
And I am writing poems for strangers to tell them all that I have become in your absence
 Jun 2017
Savannah Charlish
Losing you taught me that life
Isn't a "one or the other" kind of thing

I gained more love and joy than I could ever have imagined when you left
My whole world shifted in your absence
To a place of peace, wonder, and joyful curiosity

But that doesn't mean that your absence isn't felt
Because even in all this beauty my heart still misses you
Even though I am doing things I never could have with you
A part of me still wishes I was waking up next to you

And it's taken me a long time but I think that this is what life looks like
Moving on isn't getting to a place of completely "being over" you
I think I'll always feel sad when I think about you
And there will always be emptiness in places you filled
But that doesn't mean that joy can't coexist with missing you

I can rest in thankfulness for all that my life is becoming
And still shed a silent tear that you no longer wish to be a part of it
 Jun 2017
Savannah Charlish
Do you hear me-
(The faint memory of me laughing in your arms, pulled into your chest as tight as you could, holding me so tenderly)
Whenever you sit alone on your couch you used to love me on?

Do you see me-
(The way I used to look in to your eyes and you could never really believe someone loved you that much)
When your new lover is complaining about the ways you're not sensitive enough?

Do you smell me-
(The delicate perfume I sprayed in the corners of my neck that you used to bury your head in and take a deep breath)
When you and her are shopping and she grabs a candle saying, "Mmm smell this one" and the label reads vanilla?

Do you taste me-
(For the first year you wore burt's bees peppermint chapstick and I don't remember when you stopped wearing it but I put a little of it on everyday)
When you're wiping off the bright red lipstick she uses to show every one where her lips had been?

Do you feel me-
(My hand perfectly wrapped with yours and my head resting against your shoulder so peacefully)
When you're standing on the beach and the breeze touches your face and you remember the similarities between the sea and me?
 Jun 2017
Savannah Charlish
When I said yes to getting dinner with them
I never thought you'd get brought up in conversation  
And when you did
The most bizarre thing happened
My friends knew more about your life than I did

And less than a year ago,
I could never conceive of a world where that would ever happen
 Jun 2017
Savannah Charlish
I've heard a lot about heart break being at 3am, insomniac nights filled with silently sobbing into pillows and when sleep finally comes, it is only greeted with stabs of loneliness when the cold realization floods in that you are waking up alone.

But they forget to mention that it happens walking down the middle of the sidewalk at 2pm when you're supposed to meet a friend for coffee and you see a face that's a distorted version of his because your heart is so desperate for him that it starts to try to find him in strangers.

They don't tell you that it happens six months later when you're starting to feel good again and you accidentally hear that he's dating someone new and it sends you spiraling down into the crushing weight that he doesn't love you anymore and suddenly you're not eating again and the man who works at the liquor store makes a comment about your drinking habits.

No one talks about it happening when you start falling in love with someone else and you're sorting through your computer and stumble across the album of pictures of him that you haven't looked at since the breakup a year ago and you think you're strong enough to see his face and you realize how desperately you loved him but it still wasn't enough for him to stay.

People fail to say that it happens at your best moments when you are so full of life and love and joy that all that can radiate from your smile is the strength that conquered demons and you see all the beauty that is around you and you remember the person that you always wanted to share this moment with has decided he wants nothing to do with you anymore.
 Jun 2017
Savannah Charlish
You told me I was as subtle as a gun
But it was you who kept pulling the trigger
And you left holes in my chest
I can't touch my heart with running into bullet fragments you left behind
 May 2017
Savannah Charlish
There is no forgetting you
But there is letting you go
 May 2017
Savannah Charlish
I go to the place I took you on our first date
I walk up the steps and hold the door open for myself
I sit down at a table for two but the other seat is never filled
I order the dessert we always shared and leave half untouched
I pay for myself
I walked past the park we laid in the night I realized I loved you
I get in the car and drive home in silence
I crawl into bed and fall asleep,
Alone

You were mine once
That is all I need to know
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