My body is a bridge
connecting me to this world.
My mind is an anchor
it keeps me sinking lower
& lower.
My heart is a person
jumping out of my chest.
All the anxiety jumping
over the bridge leaving
a hole in my body.
I am undone.
My mind is sinking
pulling me further.
The bridge is crashing
against the surface of the water,
the ocean built by all my salty tears.
All the pieces coming undone,
I’m no longer here.
I’m in pieces
I’ve been torn apart again
& again
every single day
every single moment
every second
I think about you
I fall apart.

A day does not go past when I don't think about you.
If days equaled the amount of times I thought about you
It would be around 2,000 days.
I don't know if I feel lost
or like a fish out of water.
I can't breathe.
You were the air in my lungs.
Where are you?

in your last text you told me
that you thought I didn't care about you.
well, that's not true.
i cared too much about you
and it hurt
so much.

i didn't want you to know how much i cared
for you. for only you.
i had eyes just for you.
my heart stopped around you.
my lungs were heavier around you.

i miss you.
i still think about you almost every day.
people say you're supposed to think of someone less
as time passes
but i don't think it's true.
i think about you all the time.
i could never forget you.
you're burned into my brain.

the way you smiled.
the way your eyelashes curled.
i still know every single freckle.
the way your nose is shaped.
your laugh still rings inside my brain.

i'm so sorry that i hurt you.
i'll never forgive myself for losing you.
i should've told you how i had felt
instead of locking it away.
i miss you.

you stayed the night once
slept in my bed with me
but i dont think you know
that i was too nervous to sleep
and i stayed up most of the night
because you made me so anxious
now you're gone
and nobody makes me anxious anymore

I have way too much time on my hands and not enough things to do
To keep my mind off all the things I can’t control, including all the memories of you.