Struggle for cognizance
Disturbing nightmares
Invisible spirit creatures
Nerves system villains
Soul *******
Karma demons
Evil shadows
Walking darkness
Creeping death
Fight for life
Battle for every last breath
    **** and consume
Attempt to survive

Nothing about  suicide or cutting
Yet very dark!

Here is some interesting facts
Certain thing that have caught
My eyes about my hellopoetry page
I've been here on HP since 2013

I am following 701 poets
Here on Hello Poetry
None of whom are following me
Actually I’m following
2633 Poetess and Poets
The computer says....
701 of them are not following me.

I have 174 unfinished poems
In draft
Who, what
???
I evidently have published 177 collections
Even though I have only ever published 4
I'm in some poet's private collections, two of them
I'm sure that one has to do with my amnesia
????
I have 1362 poem on Hello Poetry
That I have saved nowhere else
I've never put them on a flash drive
Is someone running this sight??
My memory hope So!!!

The more followers you have the harder it is to trend
I have 1931 followers
I rarely get to the front page!
But I'd be happy to send you there!

A violin player:
Plays a song
Builds a smile
She seems okay and
Strums denial
'Practice makes perfect'
With a bow of "I'm fine"
Choose your performance and sing a lie
And upon that hill
Tie your voice
Pull on violin strings
Self-destruction such a beautiful thing

I keep no medals
Nor pictures of back then
I'm no longer a warrior
I have no wish to defend...
In fact, I'm forced to run
Unable to hide
Cameras and drones
Fill my minds eye’s

(Truth is)
I once saved my ship
From sinking
I found a hole
And stopped it from leaking
Somebody up on deck
Got the credit
Even the ships new paper
Refuse to edit

I never needed
A notch in my gun
When the cops yell stop
I'm the first to run
I've done more time
Then I care to claim
I've always been innocent
I just keep getting framed

And still
My love is as big
As the setting sun
If you cry out
Here I come
Yet I no longer feed
On excitement
And speed
A warrior
I no longer wish to be!

So After my early morning chores
I go in the house for my second cup of coffee
And my girl is getting up
She sets down in her living room easy chair
Hot herbal tea in hand, device in the other
I pick up my guitar and magic flows out
I played my magnum opus's
One after another bleeding through my fingers
Tears come to my eyes
I play like I'm playing for my dinner
I'm starving for that connection
The bond that music brings
At the ****** I look up and see her
Still staring down at her device
Then I realize
I played for dinner
And left hungry...

My life is full of
Ups and downs
I asked my girlfriend
To read my poems
She said that she didn't think so
Unfortunately
She has no poetic soul
Dry inside I die
All my living is but a lie
I seem to have traded
All that matters
For an easy loveless ride

Dear Poetess's
Please
Consider me
Together
Our poetry could
Simply be!

A song was playing
In my head
When they came and
Took me away
It beats upon my bones
'Till this very day
But
I refuse to believe
I’m bad
No matter
What most people says

The prosecutor pointed
Till the end of days
The judge slammed
His gavel
And put my *** away
It never was completely over
As if the debt was never paid
Now I wear society’s
Mark of sinner Cain
.....

I'm just another
Voice mail..
Unanswered E-mail..
Unheard prayer ..
Whisper on a scream..
Outlaw..
Outcast..
Back burner bygone..
Stumbling block..
For those I was once loved by
And there for
I forgive them
And move forward
Towards a happy ending
I pray you do the same
After all
That's what good people do!