In the forest
your feet bare
long hair
bambi eyes stare.
Night gown
translucent lace
running fast
into my tight embrace.
Aesthetic bliss
a fragile kiss
looking out into the
dark abyss.

saying goodbye will sting
because feelings are alive
as hard as forgetting seems
no love is worth the burn

don't fall in love
you will drown
it's not worth
the intense pain

your heart is yours
keep it that way
love is lies
all a lie

it's love suicide

it takes all my strength
to bear a smile
on my face

my heart hurts
my mind aches
too many thoughts
too many flaws

no one loves me
i feel so empty

no one appreciates me
makes me feel lonely

While other kids laughed
And played their days away
I spent mine hiding in a shell
Building my walls, made of

The tears I cried
The ash of dreams I once dreamt
My own bones for the structure inside
And the blood which flowed freely

While other kids slept
I cried my night's away
And made myself physically sick by
Crying too much

At a young age I thought of
The world and the agony we
Are forced through
Because I'd been through it myself

While other kids didn't worry
About the financial situation their
Parents were in
At age five I was

I didn't mention the class shirts
Or the fields trips as much as I should
And I worries about Christmas
And how to pay the rent instead

While other kids enjoyed their youth
I was too busy focusing on the future
And trying to grow up
That I didn't savor my childhood

I'm still young but not
Young enough to truly enjoy
The days on the play ground
Or the birthday parties with the clowns

Now I'm big and I still worry
Nothing has changed
And I feel more alone
Than I ever have

Are you sad, my dear?
Because it's quit clear
That your mask that you made
Out of tears and ash

Is starting to peel away
And your heart is starting to pay
The hefty price of pain
From casting your heart

Are you tired, my dear?
It's near the end of the year
It's been a long time
Since you've had good rest

You whisper you're just tired
But we know that you're wired
In a different way
Where tired means dead inside

Are you done, my dear?
With shedding your tears
And sliceing and burning yourself
And not being happy with your reflection

Because I'm done too
Salty tears are too true
Maybe it's time to pop the pills
And take a trip right down the hill

I deactivated my Facebook
Deactivated is such a strange word
More like I left because I was tired of seeing
Every one talking to one another

Every one discussing weekend plans
Of past, present, and soon to come
Of their fun family trips
And I'm sitting here

Lonely and uninvited
Crying my eyes out
Wishing for a friend
Hoping to be liked

Jealous? Definitely.
My two best friends don't talk
To me, but they talk to their
Facebook walls and other people

They hang out with others
Others but me
I'm not saying they can't have
Their own set of friends

I just feel cheated because
Whenever they need me I try to
Always show up and
Pat their backs and wipe tears

But in a time where I need
My friends the most
They've vanished for what seems like forever
Abandoned me

I just don't want to be alone
Can't be alone
When I am suicide pops up
And the cutting starts again

So please friends don't
Leave me alone

It's crazy how things happen.. You meet someone and all is great.. They make you laugh, blush, smile, daydream, plan ahead. You can trust them so easily even though that's so hard to do. You both can have deep meaningful conversations and it isn't weird because you make each other feel comfortable. You feel yourself developing feelings- even the tiniest bit. At first you don't know what to do.. You relate to each other on a whole other level so you just go with the flow, you look forward to them being a part of your day, someway somehow. Then you realize you look forward to them too much.. You put too much faith on them, expect too much and so the littlest of things disappoint you. That's when you're sure you know how it'll end. That's when you overthink and ruin things. That's when you let another one get away.. unfairly.