cool rain falls,
Randall and the
manly cowboy
talk
drink
coffee

frolick about
in the rain

dear lovely lady or kind sir,

my family has just come in to extreme, monumental good fortune, the likes of which amze the pope himeslrf and lama dolly too.

poor creidt have i thru sad mismanagement of funs, now big banks an capital cfompanies venturees, fail to reply to wll intentioned requestes for baluabel fund.s needed.

however, telegram did jyst arrive, my faimly na me so very very happy.
the sum is 100,000,000,000 dollars US with half more in pounds sterling...
currency calculator on blink... but we think this much scratch.

plesae be soknid if you will ,  i send you MY band account informaiton, then when funds come through you share with me?  you help us please?

sincerallly,
Miss A I r Head

i'm so glad you like the frosted flakers...
my dear, my sweet lass,
i'm a doin my best to clean up my ***** moouth...' 


i gotta evicted in have to move to the poor house,
cuz i had to spend all of my money
on soap bars and it it broke me...
gotta clean up my little ***** mouth!!!

i can't come back until i make another fortune...
don't cry my sweet love,
i havn't fergottin' you

and i never, never will....

i'll be back..
as soon as i can ... lickety quick!

good night my sweet love,
my moon i gaze at each night
high in the stary heavens above!

p.s.  i like that manly plumber that stopped by to help you out.
we'll all have some fun when i *** back... he lookin' like he'd make
a good mate, but for now... i'm a happy that he is yer date...
good night my sweet mate date

meanwhile,
back at the ranch,
.....or hacienda or suburban condo,

the young suburban ma'am
was weeping, 'n cryingn  'n sobbing,
having thrown herself down on her
soft, velvet covered chaise lounge.

"where are you Manly Cowboy?"
she wept
"wherefore did thou go?"
"whyfore have you doth forsaken me so?"
"in my hour of need?"

Boo hoo hoo hoo

the wailing was reaching a rather
intense volume,
so much so,
that,
soon,

there was a knock at the door.

wiping her tears from her
bright red swollen eyes and cheeks,
with her delicately embroidered
handkerchief,
her long white gosling robed gown
trailing her as,
she went to the door.

opening it,
what did she see?

but standing there,
there stood,
the,
most,
handsome, tall,
muscular man
of a manly plumber
she had ever seen.

said he,
"i couldn't but help to be
overhearing
your pitiful wails.

and i thought you might
need some help.

anything i can do to
assist you ma'am?"

WELL...
thought she,
this is the best iimprovement
in many a long day,
since the Manly Cowboy
had gone away.

"yes, you can" replied she
"would you like to come in
and take a cup of tea
with me?"

......not so fast,  
we're not done
with this one.

"certainly, i would" replied he,
"and, well, ma'am, if it isn't any
trouble for you,
i'd really prefer something
a little stronger,
per chance, do you have
any beer?"

"why yes i do." says she

"cold?" asks he

"as a snowball in hell." she replied

the manly plumber strode in,
his tools jangling about
his firm hips and strong legs.

excusing herself,
she went to the kitchen and
opened up two beers.

pouring one in a tall glass,
over ice,
she poured an eighth of the other
into another
and finished filling it up
by adding warm water
from the tap.

she did this to prevent herself
from getting too tipsy
as she was dehydrated from
all of her crying.

out she walked,
two tall glasses
in hand,
she handed one to him
and looked over the other.

the first shy smile
her sweet face
had seen in a while,
began creeping up.

since,

now? who had gone???

the manly cowboy
lying on his back
of some foriegn land,
looked up and
saw a star twinkling
high in the sky,
and he smiled.

the big fat bus,
with the big fat yellow bootay
was racing along
the country,
shore to shore,
sea to shining sea,
gulping in every sight.

as she flew through the west,
she caught sight
of a handsome young brave
sitting not far off the
side of the
road,
sharpening the blade of
one mother,
of one huge mother,
of a huge mother ******' knife.

and she thought she caught sight of
another huge shiny blade.

silhouetted against the backdrop
the light blue cotton sheets
gently swaying in the warm wind
on this sunny day,
filling them with fresh sweet
scent of fresh
sun dried air.

he intently focused
on the blade,
holding it up to the sky and
slowly,
very slowly,
drawing his thumb over
the edge
over and over,
'gettin' there'
'gettin' there'
he must be thinkin'
she was a thinkin'.

speeding along,
she glanced quick right,
and thanked the good lord
she was born without a head.

nor any tufts of fine locks on
her big fat yellow bootay.

for she had no hankering’
to be gittin’ no scalpin’.

better leave those up
to those oh so annoying
two-legged humans.

note to self,
she did make,
one to herself,
that if ever she passed this way
agin’.
she would give this
fellow one wide berth.
as he’s a lookin’
like a fellow
she didn’t want,
with to be,
messin'.

YET...
thought she.....

meanwhile, way over yonder
the manly cowboy
felt a chill grow,
shivers crept up his spine,
just as he felt a cool breeze
caress his scalp.

'hmmm that brave lad
can’t still be a ponderin’
if’n he’s awantin’ to be scalpin’ me?
he can’t!
can he?'

'nah!'
thought the manly cowboy,
pulling his wide-brimmed hat
ever so firmly down on his head.

The manly cowboy
continued his travels
across the land,
of merry ole England,
drinking a little mead,
riding his steed.

Walking along one day
beside his horse,
says to his horse,
a question this way,
says he.

"What's your name?"

"Randall." she replied.
for his steed was a she.

"WHAT did you say?
What the hell kinda name is that?"

"And please pardon me for my language,
your answer took me by surprise."

"For your information kind sir,
i am highly educated
and well brought up.

what did you expect?
some silly name
like Bay
or Susie?
or ,
if i hailed from
your part of the world,
Cochise
or Blaze
or Cimmaron?

Oh no, i know,
you might
have very well
named me
General
Blueberry."

Scratching his head,
the manly cowboy
just looked askew,
completely anew,
at this fine steed.

Randall!

Off they trode,
adventures to be made,
fast becoming fine friends,
as they were
running the roads to the ends.

Many a new sight did they see,
then one day they happened upon
Queen E.

"That's one fine looking six shooter
you have there."
said the great ruler with
the neatly coiffed gray hair.

"May I?"  asked she,
her royal hand outstretched.

Happy to oblige,
this woman who
has ruled so long,
seen so much.

Handing her his gun,
so carefully,
he inquired,

"Do you know how one of these things works Ma'm?"
asked he
"Don't be so silly
you manly cowboy.
Of course! "
said she,

With that,
she turned
and shot
every chamber bare,
six apples from
the tops of six heads
of her many heirs.

"Here, come join us."
said she,
"We're out for a ride
to look at the tide."

So the manly cowboy
threw in with the royal
mob for the day.

Riding far and wide
treated to vast
expanses and views,
and the eternal tide.

Having so much fun
shooting and riding,
out in the fresh air,
out in the sun.

At last evening approached
too fast and suddenly.
"What a day i have had,
one to always remember,
to recount over fires
many a coming night."

With that,
he took his leave,
tipped his hat,
and bowed to Queen E
so gentlemanly.

the manly cowboy
settled in for the night,
after a long day of
pure athletic delight.

delivered the mail
did they,
deliciously slow
as any snail
on the go.

he opened
and read,
that a young brave was
a looking for his head.

so he got to thinking,
i'd better still wander,
way over yonder,
way over here,
so 'n he can a ponder,
ifn'  he is still awantin'
to be,
scalpin' me?

never one to hurry,
why ever  scurry?
the brave young lad,
or young lad brave,
he,
couldn't possibly be that bad!

i'll give him some time,
and not start to whine.
(and most certainly not in rhyme)
we can find,
i  am sure,
just the right cure.
thought the manly cowboy,
think did he.

many a mate,
but never as a date,
he did spend
with many a good friend.

not that he minded,
nor cared, where love was a finded.
nor with who,
nor whom,
that's entirely up to you,
before you are laid to rest in your tomb.

out in the wild,
did he spend,
many a night and day
and not a one,
did go astray.

always polite.
nary a fight.
i'll give this good brave guy
a little time to go by,
just a little to fly.

he will be a findin'
i don't be a mindin'
differences in thoughts
differences in gots.

i might be having a few
but i shall say to you,
'Hey buddy
what do you say?
think we can be friends
one day?'

with that optimistic thought
in mind
he turned to his bed roll,
rolling out in a straight line,
lookin' to find,
only,
a peaceful night's sleep
never hearing a peep.

and a brand new day,
coming up his way.
always curious to see,
ever unfolding,
however they been molded,
life's great mysteries.

with that,
he tipped his hat
over his eyes,
so very gentlemanly.

Manly cowboy,
wherefore dost thou art come?

Dashing in you come,
to village so small,
riding your steed,
quaffing back the mead.

Six gun shooter
at your slim hip,
gallantly giving to every young maid,
your hat, a slight dip.

Tall and manly,
maidens do swoon.
you most certainly not,
the typical cowboy goon.

Wild and western,
visions so free,
hailing from spaces,
so large and so rare.

Buffalos and bears,
never muss your hair.
Ever, so debonair.

Roaming foreign
countryside,
taking time to hear
a tale from a guide.

Your horse is awaitin',
so don't be a takin',
too much time,
writing silly ole rhyme.