I can't touch anyone else anymore.
I stopped trying.
It used to be okay.
I used to fuel it with a bit of anger and pass it off as excitement.
But...
If somebody were to kiss me lately
I think I'd just turn away.
I think I'd try to hard to lean in and forget, but in the end I'd know I couldn't do it.
I used to have the odd person that I'd flirt with or cuddle with,
I used to even have someone I'd kiss often, and forget it wasn't what it could be.
I tried, hard.
I failed.
And finally after trying and trying,
After several last ditch attempts,
I've decided that this is it.
That if you won't be near me-
And maybe you won't-
Nobody will.
I'm tired, and I'm brave enough and wise enough to know when I've been cornered by my feelings.
I can face being alone.
And if I have to, if I can't have you,
I will accept nobody else.
I have no interest, and I'm done trying to.
Whether you hold me or walk away,
I am yours,
And there is nothing either of us can do about it now.

I've always thought
Summer's breezes
Were sweet and beautiful

Until the breeze
That blew threw my heart
And took you with it

I held out my hand
Fell to my knees
For you
But you were gone
Before I had the chance

I'd fallen
Like a feather onto the ground
Soft and gentle
Into your arms
Where you caught me

But now
The summer breeze
That runs it's soft fingers
Through my soul
Takes it with you
And you disappear

I hadn't realized
How much of you
Was my heart
Until I realized


                                I miss my heart

Take Note..
(This is how a heart breaks)
It starts with a look
leading to hand-holding
and light conversation
     (with an underlying current of something deeper)
Cold nights fast approach
and body holding
and murmurs of sweet nothings,
just reveling in the warmth
     (and something warmer)
Blazing furiously, a passionate
burning and consuming
like fire to an old wooden house
     (but that house is you)
Forgetting each other
blinded by the lies of forever
never, ever questioning
     (but of course, it doesn't work if you can see)
Then weeks transform into month
slower than molasses on a cold day
drifting, little by little
     (but so little you never know)
Hand-in-hand walking starts to feel different
'til that one day, 'til you reach that one day
where everything subsides
      (no reason, no rhyme, a thorough good-bye)
Walking away
you must never look back
never knowing how tears could form a mask
     (why?)

I don’t want you to know that
I haven’t slept in three days,
I haven’t eaten in two,
and I’ve put five hundred miles on my car,
because I couldn’t bear the thought
of the world moving faster than me.
But I’m sure you can tell,
here, at 2 am,
because my eyes are black and sagging
as you scream that you’ll never, ever
again put your lips near another girl’s face.
It’s okay, I’m sure it felt nice
to hold someone’s hand
that wasn’t shaky and bruised
from clinging to something that wasn’t theirs.
I’m sure you can tell,
It’s okay,
and really, I do hope that you’ll keep your lips
the hell away from her face,
not because I love you
(even if I do)
but because I hope that girl never does
anything deceitful enough
to deserve you.

You think you can erase me. You think throwing my glass to the ground will remove my lip stick stains. You think your brain, like rocks, will become smooth if you lay in the gentle waves of a new lover. You think your fingers will lose my prints if you burn them long enough on the fire of your newfound passion.
You think her smell will cloud over mine. You think you can forget I was ever around, when you hold the truth on your skin.
How could I possibly be gone from you if you'll never be gone from me? My mouth shows you to every single person I meet. They can't see you there, they can't feel you with my tongue. They don't know the chip you've left on my tooth. It's not there for them. It's mine.
You pretend I don't know your body like a map. You don't think I can trace the scars of your fingers, draw the gully of your joints, the flat plains of your chest. You don't know a thing.
I'll never be gone. You can cut me out physically all you want. But when night comes, and you're clutching her close, remember me.
Remember me then. You'll feel her body shift, and for the briefest of seconds, you'll know where mine belongs.
You'll catch my scent on a breeze, and call her my name. You can't ignore me. I'll never go away. I know far too much to vanish. It's not over, and I won't let it be over until I've seen you squirm.
She doesn't want you. We both feel it.
See, even if I'm not near you, I feel you. I feel what you feel, know what you're thinking. That won't go away.
You can singe my *******, and you can **** my mementos. You can.
You can't **** what they meant to you. You can't **** what you feel.
So drown yourself in her, and I'll laugh when you roll to my shores, torn apart.
Your skin will sag and weigh itself down with seaweed. You'll have barnacles on your tongue as you try to speak to me. You will tell me, "I knew it was wrong. You will never be gone,"
And I will tell you to hush, and rip off each one slowly, savoring them, making your mouth bleed onto my lap. Your blood will pool around my knees, and sink into my skin, like it was always meant to.
You can't escape me.
Late at night, lay there, thinking of me.
You may have her now,
But you'll always have me.

i didn't know what love-making was
when i let men storm my castle
******* felt like a battle
and my shame was loud as thunder
as coarse as the men i lay under
i hate ******* with the lights on
because i look for you in their eyes
every time.
i have shared my sheets
with too many substitutes
but you hold me
and fold me
so well that my bed is a sanctuary
i'd let you stain my skin all night
if you wanted to.