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 Feb 2014
Nemo
This is for the prom queen

This is for the prom queen
who wears her crown of insecurities
with shaking knees
and sees
her body as disgusting
always adjusting
lusting for perfection.
It's for the kids who seek affection
or attention
and can't tell the difference.
It's gonna be okay

It's for the kids who always sit in the back
It's for the "Test tomorrow panic attacks"
It's for the kids on the fast track
to unsatisfying lives.
It's gonna be okay

This is for the kid with dreams set before him
that bore him.
Who wants more than
a marriage and a mortgage.
It's gonna be okay

This is for the over-drinkers and the over-thinkers
and the ones who hope one will stop the other.
It's for the mothers
whose daughters are sinking,
thinking they have to be
drinking
in order to make friends.
It's for the sleepless nights that never end.
it's gonna be okay.

This is for the kid with the bad complexion
and the invisible girl who hides her scar collection
under her shirt
amongst the hurt,
***** looks,
And her favorite books
It's okay

It's for the boy that's abusing
and the girl that's confusing
it for love
and because of that
does not see she's beautiful
It's gonna be okay

It's the for the friends we lose
and the poisons we choose.

It's for the kids that wake up late
the ones that can't wait to graduate
and for the wallflowers trying to participate
It's gonna be okay

It's for the monsters under our beds and in our heads
that wake us up at 4 A.M
And for the all stupid things we've said
It's gonna be okay.

It's for the kid who sees his face foggy in the mirror
and does not have the means to make it clearer

It's for the kids who have it all
and the kids who see their life in a ball
It's for every single brick in the wall
for the ***** words on ***** stalls
and for the brokenness inside us all.
It's gonna be okay.

It's for the kids who wear masks
made of broken smiles and empty laughs
and crack a little more everyday
it's for the way
we smile and say we're okay
It's going to be okay

It's for the skinny girl starving to be a model
and looking for love at the bottom of the bottle
with a magazine cover for a role model
it's gonna be okay.

It's for the fat girl whose proud of who she is
because she knows that beauty lies within
it's for the holy kids so afraid to sin
that they forget to live
It's gonna be okay.

This is for the kisses under the bleachers
and the schoolboys crushing on their favorite teachers

This is for the kid who drinks tears from his beer
for the football stars
and the closeted queers

It's for the late night phone conversations
for the vibrations
of infatuation
and the sensation
of summer vacation.

It's for the chronic liars
and nervous first-timers
the cancer survivors
and the poetry writers

It's for the lives we've been given
the cars we've drunk driven
and the shells in which we live in.

And it's for the normal kids
It's gonna be okay.
 Feb 2014
John Ashton Upston
They call me the deaf reaper,
The not-so-slim teacher,
You want a lesson?
Here ya go, let me beat ya,
I'm the best, I'm the worst dressed,
Ill fight you over your address,
I got arguments, I've got lies,
I ain't hearing your *******,
I'm making my own, and I Direct,
I do not listen.
I scream, to others but not to myself,
I'm half as great to me, twice as awesome to you,
I pity no fool,
I look at ignorance with a mixture of disgust,
And admirance.
I wanted to be a leader,
not a professor,
But profess this, my dearest,
queer hater, oh not gay,
Just weird and unneeded.,
Who will follow, A modern day ******,
Living for greatness, for evil for death,
no matter what else has been heeded.
Who can scream with the anger and the authority,
Oh, that is me, the deaf reaper.
Grim, grim!
Oh, but what a grin,
Smiling oh so devilishly,
Too deviously,
that even in his now once brightly lit din,
now on the road to recovery, through the death,
of his dearest emotions, friends,
family and hearing,
Only now can he see the vision,
But the vision was sent a year too late,
How cruel then, is fate?
Now, left with one penniless gift,
Lovely, quite irate.
Poetry, boys and girls,
Like what you feed to the dogs,
regurgitated meat,
infused with vitamins and
milk straight from the teats,
of an unwanted *****,
come here, a little closer,
if you dare meet fear,
Ill eat you, oh i'll eat you,
and lick up all your tears,
until only one fluid is leaking,
and your lips then smear,
for me all for me,
For I am not myself,
Only the images and lies,
Of beings far incompare,
what does it mean,
what does it mean,
oh Ill tell you little bean,
bean bounce bounce for jean,
look at her eyes, lustily,
She is a hand, the hand on the face,
watch it as it shivers, just out of place,
still in control, if only she could see,
Her hearing clouding her vision,
Of the demons in me.
No, no, for ever devoid,
take away the rest,
of these worthless toys,
You call feelings, given to me,
To ruin my intellect,
And degrade my being.
I will not let the good win out,
Oh I hate the light.
I will change the definition of good,
I will give death real meaning,
My own.
Listen, listen closely,
Listen to my tone.
It is the whispers, the whispers,
of the subconcious untold,
That part of you, deep inside,
that when seeing the hero win,
Says "well it woulda been cool to see,
the villain preside."
So give me the world, mind control,
and more. Oh look into these,
deep blue eyes, these,
fragile snowflakes,
these *****, *****, charms.
Feel my pain and agony,
As I disregard them,
Legion, consuming evertly,
Yum, Yum, I say with a sway,
But it is not food that I eat,
Nay, Nay, for the Deaf Reaper,
It is on another soul, another mind,
Another worthless human body,
That I PREY.
If you read it all the way through, please leave a comment. I want to hear what you have to say.
 Feb 2014
PrttyBrd
The feel of your skin envelopes me the second I close my eyes
Your lips, the very taste of you, your hand against my thigh
Racing hearts and shallow breaths of passion not denied
Dreams are filled with memories and hopes of future ties
The now has changed the status quo, I'm living in disguise
Body and mind and heart unite yet living different lives
In the throws of restlessness I awake to subtle cries
My heart, it weeps for longing, for a need I can't describe
So full of joy between us, there is more than love implied
Drawn to you completely, yet left to wonder why
Choices made against a future that seems eternally unwise
Yet painful yearning pushes to a life that we must try
An aftermath of broken hearts and tears that never dry
Still, we're drawn to one another beyond what we realize
How are we to live apart in lives where the sun won't rise
Where everything we say and do will feel like it's a lie
All the love that we could share has come as a surprise
We can't seem to hide our hearts with what our words belie
copyright©PrttyBrd 09/12/2010- From 14
 Mar 2013
Alicia D Clarke
The inner pounding in my chest has stopped.
My heart is broken.
regret and self pity fill me with vile sensations.
I want only to cease the pain it continues to bring me in the darkest hour of night.
When I am alone with my thoughts.
A pain that was once joy throbbing inside of me.
Now a pain that kills me slowly with each pump of blood.
My heart a tool of my very own self destruction.
I must destroy it.
Yet I continue to live with it
A daily reminder that I must not end.
A daily reminder that you're slowly killing me.
Inside and out.
 Mar 2013
Alicia D Clarke
a life drowned in music
smothered in depression
and kept in the shadow of my past mistakes.
relating to every word some black man spits,
through the radio our hearts are connected.
I feel every beat in the bass as a stab to my heart.
talking about getting money, ******* women,
and life on the streets.
Maybe we aren't so different after all.
His streets my hallways,
his money my dream,
his women my regrets,
his words my swag.
I rock to the beat of struggle and pain,
a mixed boys struggle,
a life with no end.
Alone? not really.
But a feeling so natural it's comfortable,
a feeling I hate, yet its the only thing that lets me know I'm alive.
A beat so unique once it's heard you'll never forget it
A beat that gets stuck in your head and won't ever come out
This beat is me.
For Breland
 Dec 2012
Alicia D Clarke
when you look into my eyes,
do you see her?
do you see the girl you fell in love with?
Or do you see a broken silhouette where she once was?
you could have made her stay you know.
you could have made her feel alive and wanted.
you could have made her love every inch of herself,
every fiber of her being you claimed to love in the beginning.
what changed that for you?
was it when you found out she was different?
found out she had scars deeper than the grand canyons valleys.
found out she was used merchandise.
found out, that no matter how hard you tried you couldnt erase the memories.
skin inked with distrust and abuse.
no empty canvas was left for your saving fingerprints.
no room to spill kindness and love,
no room for change.
so you, just like everyone else shes ever known,
left her.
you packed your bags and got out while you could.
if you only knew the envy she felt towards you.
You see, you could pick up everything and leave.
while her baggage comes with a lifetime guarantee,
weighed down by skeletons in her closet.
she can not escape.
You left her.
broken, vulnerable, and dying.
So when you looked at her you saw it didn't you?
saw what makes everyone leave eventually...
*you saw her
 May 2012
Kate-Lynn Walsh
Standing over this coffin
Staring into my eyes
Watching my own corpse

Sit there as it rots away
This is my wake
Tomorrow is my funeral
But not a soul is present
Because technically
I am alive

Have you watched me
Sit in the shadows
In the corners
On the curbs
In the secrets
Of a wretched mind

Have you understood
What I’ve gone through
In those halls
And classrooms
In the chairs
At the desks
Inside my own head

With all those eyes
Beaming at me
Throwing my mind
Onto overdrive
As I feel myself
Collapse inside

They said it was all my fault
They told me to snap under pressure
Forced me to believe,
I was the eternal loser
And they the eternal winners

They chased me on the streets
Screaming how I deserved to die
They chased me in the halls
Burning my every confidence

They encouraged my awful mind
To realize that everything
That I said to myself
In my own head
That it was true on the outside

And the rest of the population
Inside of that building
Just watched as it passed them by
Bystanders in an awful fight
Letting them pick me apart
Pull it away

All those bystanders
Just stood there
Watching and screaming
Go Go Go
To the winning team

And what else did they do
Those bystanders and those winners
They told me another thing too
I was responsible for my own demise
Because the treatment I was facing
By all the surroundings
Was my fault too

They told me to stand my ground
That I could just take it like a big girl
As I could hide inside
They told me not to fight them off
They said they’d go away some day

So why are they still around
Why do they still say the same things
Why do they stalk my every move
Waiting for the wrong one to appear
So they can use it against my fears

They told me I was responsible
For the bullying I had received
They told me I was the failure
Because I stood my ground
They told me the torture would end

And here it is.
As I stand over my corpse
At my unattended wake
For my own mind
But I am alive.
 May 2012
Kate-Lynn Walsh
Once, I wanted to give
Thirteen Reasons Why
And bury myself
While I was totally alive
Six feet under the ground

Once, I tried to step
Out the window, Just
To feel myself fall
Through thin air
Only to smack
On the cement below

Once, I failed to lift
A simple weight
Even an inch
Above my chest
Before it cracked
My collar bone.

Once, I broke
Thought it was ending
Told them to grab
The bullets
Fire at will

And once, I asked a boy
To take my hand
Spin me around for
A short dance

Then, I promised myself
Never turn into
One of those poets
Writing dedications
Again and again to them
Because by the end
They became jokes

Once, I told someone
I never wanted to fall in love
Over and over and over again
Because they said
I'm never going to be good enough

But once, I never said
This was a love poem
Maybe it's an appreciation one
Cause once, I asked you to dance
And for some reason
You decided to say yes

Thanks for that

And for now,
Thanks for everything we've become
Let's take this journey longer
Go for all the risks
Make these memories last

Once, I want to hold on
And never let go.
 May 2012
Kate-Lynn Walsh
Don’t send me to the hospital
I just left without a cure
Don’t feed me the drugs
My over-dosing habits are not pure
Don’t leave me suffering
Alone as you walk past
Just take me to the sea
Where I can float into infinity

Haunting these hallways
I surround friends with joy
Faking my way of life
So no one pulls me outside
Not like I’m filled inside
And it seems I like to criticize
All those girls for being fake.

While I know it’s true,
I can’t be too hypocritical
When I look at myself
As unrealistic projections
Of a happy adolescent

If you couldn’t tell,
Then I must be doing well
As my walls are built higher
And my skin grows a little tighter

I still get sick
Of going back every day
With all the ****** up acts
People commit inside the hellhole
I’m sworn to go to
Until my legal childhood dies

Most days, I’m scared to go back
When the treatment is this bad
And the punches are dealt the same
When the words leave the their mouths
And leave me hanging to on the edge
Suffering with more blood from razors

The past 12 years seem to merge
Into a big blurb of complete crap
I thought by now, we’d grow taller and mature
From the childish **** of the past

They’re still satisfied with producing slurs
Just because I’m not at their ‘perfect stature’
That’s when I wonder what’s going to change
Am I ever going to take a jump away
And find some way to escape
While a month and a half seems so short
Being told you’re a **** up every day
Makes the days a little bit longer

What if I didn’t come back tomorrow
Or all the days after that
What if I said oh ***** it
And left the world in a snap
What will they say, when someone tells them
It was their faults from their words and their actions

And as every day continues
To be another fight for a healthy mental state
I just lay down at night thinking
Sometimes I wish I could die.
 May 2012
Claire Waters
“It was so quiet, one of the killers would later say, you could almost hear the sound of ice rattling in cocktail shakers in the homes way down the canyon.”

William Garretson was the gardener of 10050 Cielo Drive, in Los Angeles, a summer house rented by Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate. He lived in the guest house on the property. On August 9th, 1969, members of the Manson family visited the residence and brutally murdered all the inhabitants, as well as Garretson’s friend Steve Parent. Garretson claims he had no knowledge of the murders that night. He is the only survivor of the Tate Murders.

your screams sounded
like fiberglass breaking
an almost impossible noise
like a hemorrhage at midnight
i was walking through the garden
and i swear
i heard the neat click
when he severed the phone line
if only i had known

i have thought up one hundred scenarios
in which i saved your life
but there is only one
when i don't
and every night i try to justify this reality
because i could have sworn
the sound of their boots
on the steel fence
was the telephone
ringing

when they saw the headlights
swerve over the lawn
steve was as good as dead
shattered like a lightbulb
under pressure
four shots pressed into his forehead
a candid bullet kissed him faceless
his absence was
a tell tale piquancy of slaughter
i lay in bed that night
and turned my face to the wall
when i heard the screams

tell me i reek coward
say the raw red skin of my knuckles
shaved away from the foundation of my raised veins
as i sat through another police interrogation
are nothing compared to the red poppy
that blossomed in the center of his chest
call me callous
but i will never forgive myself
for trimming the flowers
that sat innocent on the coffee table
in the middle of a mass grave
all i can say is
i was just the gardener

i found her
blooming on the living room floor
the baby cut
weeping from her umbilical cord
still attached to mother and father
by a rope traveling from neck to neck
thorny slices of fetal skin
peppering the carpet
blood sprays still wet
were soaking into the wooden door
sadism comes in many
limp limbed contortions
but only one color
and i saw *HIS
smile
carved in the cavity
of her stomach
i swear to god
i wish i could say
i didn't see it coming

i found the severed tendons
of his fingers
suspended in the eerie light
of the swimming pool
pruned like overripe plums
the remnants of his face
scattered across the driveway
like taraxacum seeds
their bodies all
hanging like wilted stems
broken xylems hinged to sepals
by threads of sap
running down uprooted ligaments
there is not enough therapy in this world
to cure the silence in the garden
upon the aftermath of execution

the shapes of murders' footprints
left raised beds in my shoulder blades
manure smeared ***** across my lips
every flower i have ever planted since
has languished in the smell of your corpses
melded into the callouses
of my finger tips
i am just the gardener
and i am all broken anthers
petals shriveled, toxic
call me a survivor
but there is blood inside my filaments
 May 2012
Kate-Lynn Walsh
I’ve been running for miles and miles
Trying to escape what someone told me
True love looked like
True love felt like
True love was like

And I’ve been running in circles
Around my head
Watching us and every move
We made and word we said

And I’ve been running for days and months
Trying to prove I can live without you
Trying to tell myself to be free
Pushing myself away from who I was
To a person who is better than me

And I’ve been running for miles and miles
Escaping your twisted opinions
Im better than your cunning smile
Better than your words and persuasion

And I’m scraped battered and bruised
From the fight before I began
To run for all these miles
From that last time I saw you.

Now I've tripped along the way
And I’m hurting from all the pain
Dealt by razor blades and
The words kind and vain

And I saw my life flash before my eyes
When I tripped once on the way
Not caused by words of vain
But from something kind
Because compliments come
With a price to pay

Because as I run along these miles
I hear them say the same
They all sound just like you
With your evil ways

And suddenly as I run for miles and miles
They say I’m gorgeous
But all I can do is keep running

Because I’ve been running for miles and miles
To be good enough for someone one day.
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