I've been called
The wise one
The smart one
"Born with a server's heart" one
The one with wet shoulders
Who doesn't cry herself to sleep
The kind one
The bright one
The "everybody's friend" one
The one who doesn't hurt herself
About the secrets that she keeps

But I'm the broken one
The hurting one
"Helping others has to save me" one
I love myself
Then hurt myself
Afraid to have to face someone

It's as if we
**** more tenderly
Than we **love.

I would like to remind everyone
that love is not a fairytale,
or a plot twist in a book or TV show.
It is as real as their warm body,
as it moulds together with yours.

There are no fireworks
or electric sparks when you kiss,
but your heart will pound and you'll briefly wonder
if they can hear your nervousness
as loudly as you can.

You'll love them
and they'll love you in return
for as long as it takes before it fades out
(if ever)
because sometimes it takes the dying of one love
to give way to something bigger and greater.

Never forget those you've loved before,
for that's the greatest insult of all,
worse than every curse and every heated fight.
To forget says that you never cared,
even when you were together.

HEART/MIND
You’ve read enough books to fill 7 billion minds
But the moment you lost yourself to his eyes -
Grey, blue, green, mixed and alone,
7 billion minds became one fleeting heart.

MIND/MATTER
They say, mind over matter
But how could that work
When you were everything that
ever mattered on my mind?

MATTER/INTANGIBLE
All that mattered, I could touch
Matter leaves and you become imaginary
Hurt wraps and coils
All that mattered, I cannot touch

INTANGIBLE/LOVE
Love is immeasurable, intangible.
Lies, lies!
It was as alive as my lips
when I traced your skin
Or your eyes
when you said my name.

LOVE/LOSE
Fighting a war neither side knew how to fight
Feel the hand that loved you
As it reaches out and takes your heart,
Crushing it slowly
No battle has finished but the war is done.

LOSE/LOST
I woke up at
0347
And I cried like
I had never cried before
Clawing at skin as though
It was diseased
For I was lost
And I had lost
And for the rest of of my life I knew I would
Lose

LOST/RECOVERY
It's learning how to stand again
Then walk,
then run.
But after you've lost, recovery doesn't always work
Sometimes Fate sticks her leg out
To watch you fall

RECOVERY/GONE
And you never get up from that place again.

And he was beautiful
Within his scars
and within his bones
and within the labyrinth, his mind
There was a terrifying beauty
that she could never see or understand


She didn’t deserve to.

A boy once jokingly asked me,
"If you could **** anyone in the world, who'd it be?"
It took me almost an hour to reply
because despite the question's joking nature,
the only answer I could think of was "me".

Last night I felt the alcohol and darkness slither in again.
So I buried myself into a blanket burrito
and tried not to let the cold take over.
Soon however, it felt suffocating,
tightening around my arms and hands
whenever the night demanded blood and pain.
"I'm protecting you on his behalf," the blanket whispered,
as its warmth imitated his arms and lulled me to sleep.

How I am so ashamed
Of everything I do
And everything I say
The way I feel is not "okay"
So when you ask me
"How are you?"
A hug, a kiss, a smile or two
You should be worried when I say
"I'm fine, no really, I'm okay"