when the sun rises do you forget the moon...

does the light shine for a thousand lifetimes?
does it violently tip the scales that weigh your desire to exist?
is it jealously possessive of your every thought?

...because i can't remember the sun, in the moonlight

13.06.21

sitting on old prescriptions
and sleeping in plastic capsules
that float on this vast ocean
i have collected with familiar
waves of tears that once
drowned me, now buffered by

empty bottles

30.05.21

it's not lasting or 'natural'
this happiness i feel
it leaves scars, but that's okay
'cuz if it hurts...

that means it's real

i'm afraid my ink has dried because
my thoughts are frozen solid and
my heart has become too cold
to thaw either back to life

i hope this burning desire is enough...

04/03/21

i have a lot to tell you
but suddenly my energy
has been drained; stolen
by the rocks chained to my ankle

neck high in my ocean of pain
going down down down

i can't seem to swim
i can't seem to scream
i can't seem to try
i can't seem to care

well, maybe i could
but i think i will just
slip beneath the surface
and drown in my thoughts

it's quieter than fighting
and i'm sick of the noise

16.04.20

pause.

do you hear that?
your heartbeat
it's always been there

can you feel it?
it's the most powerful
and gentle feeling

isn't it hard to ignore now?
it's almost silence
but it is deafening

once you hear it.

29.04.20

you read my poem
out loud, to me
and it was awful

words i carefully pieced together
transformed to an inept mess
coming from your mouth

my stomach turned inside out
as my familiar, finicky stanzas
became clumsy strangers

i almost wanted to cover my ears
to escape my art that began to
sound like amateurish trash

however, there was not one ounce
of mockery in your tone
as you recited my poetry

you were quite impressed
but it was awful because
you read my poem
to my biggest critic

29.04.20