Standing in the middle of the street, the sky black and starless, it is late, but the night is filled with possibility as drizzling raindrops reach down to kiss our cheeks and noses and eyelids

I see nothing but you

My eyes locked tightly to yours, everything around us is still and quiet as more rain trickles down and a gentle breeze swifts through the air
We don't pay regard to any of it because the only thing that matters is the fixed gaze our eyes hold as our arms are fastened tightly around each other
We cannot look away, captivated by the other's presence

We are completely immersed in the moment when you finally open your mouth to whisper something softly to me

We both lean forward, letting the splendor of the moment take control, pulling us closer and closer to each other until our lips touch for the first time, forming perfectly to each other, molding feelings into the movements of our mouths locked tightly together
A voice cries out inside of me, aching with desire and composure, saying, "Never let go, hold me tight''

We pull away in a modest state of shock due to the enchantment of the anticipated and formal rendezvous of the two compelling and winsome pairs of our lips
Our eyes are once again riveted to each other, and twinkling grins have effortlessly manifested across both of our spry and inviting faces

I can feel the exuberance and elation of the moment beaming between us as your hands reach up to gently grasp each side of my face and your thumbs softly caress each of my cheeks
I could swim in the looming sensation and passion for eternity

Our lips meet again, my insides fluttering, slowly igniting with a feeling no words can describe, a feeling I yearn to seal into a jar for safe keeping and hold next to my warm and beating heart forever
It all feels intrinsic, natural, as if we have been doing it for ages
And I feel whole and beautiful, hoping we never have to let go

Kissing you is an easy thing, it feels comfortable, undemanding
It feels safe, making it seem we are one entity
Like we are two bodies with two hands and two pairs of lips but one soul and one heart
And I cannot help but wonder if this is the person I have been longing for and anticipating my entire life, dreaming of and wondering if we would ever meet

I cannot force myself to break your gaze or my body to move away from yours, feeling whole and beautiful once more

Our lips touch for the last time and then pull away timidly,
Longing for each other
Hoping to meet again

My entire life

No matter where I go, who I'm with, what I'm doing, how drunk I am

I have always felt on the outside - out of the picture

From childhood's hour

I have not been like others are

I've always been

Out of the conversation, at a distance

As though I am alone in existence

Everywhere I go, there is an impenetrable barrier

At home I'm a foreigner in my own land

I've always felt like a different breed

Slowing down when others pick up speed

As if I was the only one picking up the sounds or words that others don't hear

Deaf to the words that they do hear

I do not hear what others hear, I do not see what others see

Doing, saying, thinking things that others don't

When I try to explain what my world is like,

I baffle and stutter and can't find the words

And they look at me

From the other side of the barricade

With condescending, puzzled smiles

I've never really been a part of a group, a piece of a whole

Even in my own house, with my own friends,
I've always been an intruder

Everything I say, everything I do seems offbeat

I feel like everyone is dancing some sort of elaborate choreography

And I haven't learned the steps

Or they're all playing a game

And no one taught me the rules, or let me roll the dice

I've always felt out of it,

As if I was alone on the opposite side of an enormous, invisible window

Pressing my hands against the glass, tracing worlds in the fog

A stranger looking in

I've always felt it

Struggling to break the sturdy facade

In crowded parties, sleepovers,

Lunch breaks, with my family, with best friends



But with him

I'm not an outsider

Even though we argue, or call each other names,

Or slap each other, or steal each other's pens

We understand each other

Simply

Easy

With him

There is no window, no barrier, no wall

When we talk, there is only us

Encased in a small, invisible circle

A circle I'm not excluded from

Which enclosed us, and protects us from the world

All the others fade,

And only remains this sort of forcefield

There's no plausible explanation

For this halo

Nothing logical about it

Nothing like "we just get along",

Because we don't, not always

But the circle is there

Undeniable and hopefully eternal



One day I'll trace that circle

Around us, and he'll see it

too

I'll slot into my adult cot very shortly
to rest the bones of my weary body
on a comfy mattress made for my lumber
twill be so nice to partake of some slumber

In the hour of death, after this life’s whim,
When the heart beats low, and the eyes grow dim,
And pain has exhausted every limb—
  The lover of the Lord shall trust in Him.

When the will has forgotten the lifelong aim,
And the mind can only disgrace its fame,
And a man is uncertain of his own name—
  The power of the Lord shall fill this frame.

When the last sigh is heaved, and the last tear shed,
And the coffin is waiting beside the bed,
And the widow and child forsake the dead—
  The angel of the Lord shall lift this head.

For even the purest delight may pall,
And power must fail, and the pride must fall,
And the love of the dearest friends grow small—
  But the glory of the Lord is all in all.

At the last, tenderly,
From the walls of the powerful, fortress’d house,
From the clasp of the knitted locks—from the keep of the well-closed doors,
Let me be wafted.

Let me glide noiselessly forth;
With the key of softness unlock the locks—with a whisper
Set ope the doors, O soul!

Tenderly! be not impatient!
(Strong is your hold, O mortal flesh!
Strong is your hold, O love!)

In the beginning it was considered lust
Nothing more than just a crush
Minor words of flirtation
Did everything to increase the temptation
It wasn’t long after words became an action
This soon enhanced the attraction
The feeling was something unknown
With the craving to make it shown
It’s an aching that lurks deep within our veins
It’s a feeling that most words are unable to explain
It’s a power that makes your body lose control
It’s a mystery unsolved but make your heart feel full
It’s an element that is indescribable
It’s a thought in your mind that’s uncontrollable
It’s a challenge that the world takes for granted
It’s a passion deep in your core that needs to be chanted
So in the end the lust was still existent
But the passion became persistent
A few thoughts lurk deep in my mentality
And what I desire, I hope to become a reality
I know what I feel is true
And what I wish to say is I love you.

After giving up on homework
I'm going to write a poem
About what I have done
And where I am
And what is my worth

Those are questions on my conscious
Right now, I don't have the time
This why I want to take
A mental photograph

I want to take a snapshot
Of the single moments
Where my mind is off
Leaving the feeling Melancholy
To sweep up.
A time where I sit and wonder
What my point is anymore.

Of the times when my Mind
Comes in from a late day
At work
And the traffic was bad
And there was no promotion
Nor bonus nor reward
For the extra work
He had put in this week.
So he plops himself on the sofa
And his on the couch
Drinking yet another can of beer

In the kitchen
His wife Conscious cries
As she puts away the candles
And stows away the meal.
A romantic meal is all she wants
Mind will not put in the work
This was not the man she loved
Not this burnt out corpse

I wonder why I keep going on
Why I keep pushing myself forward
There's nothing special about me
I'm just a normal mortal

When I look into the mirror
I see flesh and bone
And tired eyes
I see acne and scars
And razor cuts
I do not see a god,
A creature that's special.
Just a simple human
Not worth all the hype
Not worth a penny more
Than all his peers
Actually, probably
Worth a penny less

You who read this might think
Is he depressed
Sick
A whiney *****?
The answer is
At times to all

I'm merely just a
Tired
Burnt
Angsty
Teenager.
With the constant nagging thought
What have I done?
Where am I?
Am I worth all the compliments?
Am I worth all the insults?
Am I worth anything at all?
For even teens
Filled with angst
Can question themselves sometimes

So I'm filing this snapshot
Along with all my more coherent ones
Is this a good idea?
I hardly read the work.
Oh who ******* cares
This is more for me
Than for you