I want to hide away and cry
But it seems my eyes have both run dry

A bright spot in this haze of black
Would give me nothing but a heart attack

A heart attack might wake me up
But I'd just drink from your poisoned cup

Then I could go back to sleep
And be within the angels' keep

"The angels' keep, or the demons'?" you say
It matters not to me either way

As long as I don't have to wake
And I shall be all yours, for the take

Standing, on the other side of lonely
looking in
waiting,like a becalmed sailor
for the wind
looking , for a reason not to shed
another tear
feeling like a paper doll tossed
by the wind

But those long goodbyes
are taking up our time
bring forth all your tears
those long goodbyes
strain our two lives
desperately , clutching the years

Talking,to help myself remember
who I am
Journeys a thousand miles out and back
I've been
discovering, what a loss and what a fool
I've been
hoping, for redemption and another
invite in

But those long goodbyes
keep taking up our time
bring forth all your tears               x2
those long goodbyes
straining our lives
desperately, clutching the years        

Seeing, you standing in my doorway
once again
knowing, that this is exactly where
you should have been
touching, softly kissing the one that
I've missed
loving,for forever it's always
where we've been

But those long goodbyes
keep taking up our time
bring forth all your tears
those long goodbyes
straining our lives
desperately clutching the years      X2

I walk along the vaulting cliffs,
My mind is open, a clear horizon,
In passing breeze, I smell her hair,
I must get home, dark clouds arriving.

I will not die for you
Woman fey of flesh and home,
I linger but to see you unfrock
The holy, set rogues to roam.

Why should I thus be consumed
In breath like coldest fire?
Shape of rising waterfalls
That state, I surely do not desire

The downy *******, the runny skin,
Spark of cheek, notes of hair in shower,
The gliding step, the gusty tone,
Fools have died for much less a dower.

The lancing pools, the hemlock mien,
The highland sheen, the dawn-bird voice,
The Safire eye, over step of pyramid
Merlin gave Arthur a safer choice.

I will not drown for you,
Flood of hair, red as the lye
In parted Jordan, that sea, not me,
Shall pine as ever, slowly dying.

Your healing humors, your subtle sovereignty,
Your blood, noble as seven-seas are blue,
Little mirror who paints the sky,
Though nearly, I will not die for you.

I came to a courtyard of my own making,
To a cottage by the sea at the worlds edge.
I furnished it with my left over life, complete,
Barren and colorless and I wrote the newest
Book of psalms out of tinder and flame, a tome
Of grey and useless poems, unheard of songs
And reams of flesh.  There in the lightest dark,
By the Druid stone that was placed just for me,
I planted a creeping yew tree.  And the moon
Sang in celebration and silence like a fallen
Priest.  
                    Under the covering hazel trees,
That sprung to life after the longest winter,
Which taught me to forget my name, I now
Struggle with light and my body, warring, torn
Is fading slow, like the always arriving, down
Turning solstice, the climates of the mind,
Where it is digging the never ending shallow
Hole only the spreading eternal yew, that I
Planted, will ever know and only the Lazarus
Moon shall ever rise above.

I came to a courtyard of my own making,
Was it dream that led me there or my eyes?

Just another addiction,
just another written problem,
other moment written with red ink,
red ink of your blood in the history of your short life

Thousand mistakes happen in one day,
and you know and delete them, but open,
open the old wounds of your most lost memories.
that are collecting dust in your mind.

And knows that the stars,
no longer shine for you,
know that the night around you and you know,
know that it is the time

Time to close your eyes
and listening to the heart,
and he tell you that hurts beat
for many wounds and blows that came
and the silence doesn't contradict,
just give him the reason.

That both speak at the same time
and being told you that the it was finished ink
That the papers want to burn
and they want to finish with everything

That you already arrived to the limit
Which doesn't have a new fence
That small fence that you always
in fits and starts would jump
That it  is your turn to give
and finish with all.

I am a saint walking in the desert

Surrounded by a smoke of illusion

The mind drifts higher with the warmth

Hallucinations set into fusion



A paranoid brain trying to hide

From the invincible images of the mind

Fake faces floating all around

Slowly the reality goes blind



Choking and panting and heavily breathing

The heart keeps up to the drumbeat

Realization soon dawns that I can’t breathe

And I long again for the desert heat



Now I flashback to the desert sands

Pouring out of my little hands

The snakes come and bow down to me

But the intoxication is now  lost in the sand



I walk down the long empty hallway

Endless doors opening to close all over

Stabbed by the memories of the past

But the feelings refuse to get over



Projections cried out as silky tears

Flow down to the velvety sea

The clamps of life slowly give away

But the freedom is not for me



The love of drugs and the drugs of love

Mix up before the night

Taken in and ****** and high

The end of the tunnel now has a light



The blinding light slowly dims

And shines deep in my eyes

Calling me to the end of the road

As I sail away… To the end of time.

She was crippled
Lost in her thoughts
As pieces of her life shattered around her
She was caved in
The room began to spin
Everything raised
As what was left of her hope began to fade away
Spinning, and shifting; no escape
Never let loose for a breath of fresh air
But caught in despair she drops the razor
Flushes the pills
Drains the alcohol
But grabs the knife, and ends everything including her life