I shatter the glass
Release the storm
I don’t want to hold it in anymore

I’m tired of faking my happiness
Tired of swallowing my pride
Tired of being abused, used

There is not another tear I can shed in secret
There is not another heartbreak that I grieve unseen
I shall release my darkness and let my demons scream
Before I succumb and become numb
Before I let my torturers get away
Even for just a moment, just a second
I shatter the world and paint it black and gray

In the hidden clearing in the woods
Lies a field of weeds with pops of color
Red from poppies, white from daisies, purple from foxgloves
They dance to the music of the wind

The yellow dandelions are the most abundant
Add pops of yellow to the rainbow
Yellow reminds me of my bright days as a child
Where I could be in the sunlight as long as I please
Overtime the yellow turns into white
And petals transform into small fluffy clouds
It takes me back to those moments
When we would make the white fairy parasols fly

Dandelions, although they may be a **** to some
They bring me back to when I was young
Although it may be a nuisance to some
Above all flowers, it is truly a special one

I dwell by the well in the forest
And look into the crystal  clear water
While sunlight flit between the light green leaves
And white light clouds dance across the sky
I  watch the goldfish swimming near the stony bottom
I watch the small secret world of a hidden pond.
With my coffee colored eyes,
I gaze upon the small shiny fish
I wonder if the swimming fish with scales of gold
Dream of a bigger world
Where they can fly and sing like the songbirds
Or roam in the grass like the doe
Or are they happy in that hidden pond
in the well that dwells in the forest
Because that is all they know?

You may play me, manipulate me, trick me
But in the state of it all, I still move forward

You may try to break me,
Using words that cut deeper than knives, or physically harm me
But in the state of it all,
I am still who I am, and I will not change

You may force me into a locked room
Restrict me from the place I long to go
But in the state of it all,
I will find a way to unlock the door
I will find the path to the place I long to go

Though pain may rain down
From the clouds of hardship and suffering
In the state of that storm,
I still move forward to find the right path as myself

All my life
I have felt out of place
Like a wild hawk trapped in a locked room
In a chained cage that is labeled "songbird"

The cage is my body, trapping me in
That label is the pronouns, the labels they slap on me
The locks on the door and the chain on the cage are the expectations
The expectations to fit into a box, even though I would never fit
Though my bones may break and my flesh may tear,
I would never belong in that box

My heart is a butterfly
It flies long distance to look for the sweet nectar of love
It is delicate, like a butterfly’s wings
One strong gust of wind, one lightning storm, one hurricane or tornado
Is enough, to tear the butterfly wings of my heart to pieces
It tries to bring happiness wherever it flies
It tries to please everyone in places where it lands
It is vulnerable, yet so strong
The beaks of betrayal the webs of woe
Are everywhere in this world, waiting to trap it
But despite the fact that there are so many traps
You still see butterflies flying near the rainbow of flowers
and in lush green forests
My heart flies on constantly being trapped and avoiding traps,
It endures the strong gusts of wind, the storms, hurricanes and tornado
Though it is delicate and light
It always has the strength of its might.

A girl walked into my life
She asked me out, treated me like I was worth it
She gave me a sign that she loved me, made it seem like we were more than friends
You even called me your love...
I guess I forgot the walls around my heart were there
I was so sure this time was it
So I took my shot hoping this was it
But I missed, and I realized that this time was no different
She was experimenting what would happen
If she acted this way towards me
Played my heart like a song of betrayal
Broke my heart to pieces, like the dots on a dice
Why did I break my walls down?
How did I not know that you were just a liar
Who thinks it’s fun to make me a pawn in your game

Red plastic solo cups littered on the floor
Confetti spilled on the table, glitter everywhere
Unfinished food, unwashed dishes
When all the people leave

A few hours ago we were young again
We danced and sing without a care
But when the party’s over the real world crashes down
There is no one to stop me
From drowning in the sea
I’m sinking down further into darkness
The disco lights seem cold, the balloons don’t fly as high
The music seems to loud to bear
When the party's over, it seems no one is there

The future
Is a long winding path in a dark forest
The leaves on the trees are so thick
That the moon and the stars can’t be seen
There is no way of telling which way is north, south, east or west
You just follow the path and try to find the light
You hear mysterious sounds in the night
Never knowing if it is made by a friend or a foe

The future
Is full of unknown
Like a dark murky lake, or a black abyss
The direction is always uncertain
There is nothing you can do,
But continue to walk along the path
Until you find the place of rest

Hell on earth, the fire burns
People turn against one another
Fear instills in every body
Time seems to stop, the alarm ringing
The hourglass sand has stopped falling
Everyone says their last words,
As the world, turns to dust

I am a caterpillar
In a cocoon
Sheltered, safe from the cold cruel world
Smothered by the covering
Wings crushed by the walls
I yearn to see what the world has to offer

People say the world is cold and cruel
Society will bash your paper thin wings until you break
But I would rather be out in the danger
Than be stagnant in these towering walls

Without my name I belong to no one
I am no longer in association with my kin
Those who have brought me pain, those who have brought me love
Those who have abused me, those who have built me up

Without my name I am just a person
No one knows where I come from
No one knows my gender
I am just me, no strings attached

Without my name, I am still the same me
It doesn’t matter if you call me Jia-Rong, JR, or Alex
I will still be the same person,
Because my name is not engraved in my DNA

Though we live on the same earth
It seems as though our worlds have drifted apart
You are on mars and I am on Saturn
We are so close, yet so far apart
I am the earth, and you are the moon
Orbiting slowly around me
But never getting closer
Pulling on me with your gravity,
But I am not the one that makes you shine
Someone else illuminates you, you belong to someone else
The sun…