Im Honest About Everything
Except My Sobriety.
The Days i've Been Sober
And if i've Used.
I Have A Problem
I Have A Drug Addiction.
I Don't Consider My Dishonesty
As General Lieing.
I See it More As A Ly
I Dislike How He Always Tends
To Bring Up My Past mistakes
By Saying I lied about Not Using
To Were i Catch Him in A Lie
By Saying He Lied About Being At The Store When he was with his homies.
I Dislike How He Always Uses My Drug Abuse Situations
To Situations That Don't Even Connect.
For Example
He Tells Me I Cheat On Him By Using
To Were i Feel
Hes Purposely Going To cheat on me But with an actual Human being.
I Dislike Him Comparing
Chemicals To A Real life person
Saying its The Same.
When There Completely Different
You Cant Touch Chemicals
Bond with chemicals, Have intimacy With it.
Like You Can
With A Living Person.

He's My Prince Charming
But i Wasn't His Cinderella.
Maybe That's Why our Relationship is Complicated
Because i wasn't the one he first wanted.

Sometimes, we just have to let go of someone who matters to us not because we have to, but because its the right thing to do.
Believe Me.
I Love Him Deeply
I Love Him So Much I Want Him To be Set Free
All i Give him
Is Disappointments Pain and misery
I Want Him
To Be With Somebody That's Opposite Of me.
A Normal Girl
No issues No Addictions
A Lovely Girl Thats Experienced With What Love is
And How To Act & Be in a relationship
Matured Smart successful
I Feel letting go
Will Be A Good Thing
Not Towards My life
But his
Because his lifes Worth more than mines
I'd Rather Want Him With A Real women
Than To keep him
And drag him through all my
Complicated b.s
See a Better person
By His side
And live happily ever after

I Can't Seem To Know How To Explain My Thoughts Well.
Im Misunderstood.
Im Feeling So Low Right now
The Person I Need
Can't Seem To Help Me Now
I Can't Turn to them
Because i disappointed them once again.
I Have nobody To Turn to now
&
My Loneliness Keeps Telling me i should..
Temptions Heavier Than Before
Arguments are My main
Trigger.
I Don't Want To go back to how i was before..
I Want Comfort
I Want To Feel Love, Someone to vent to
I Want Someone To Tell me im not a failure and everything will be alright :(

I Have To Become Sober
To let My Brain Recover
So i Can Function Better
For My Health
To Not Get Deeper in Depression
To Live Life and be someone
To Be in my Family's life
to Have Feelings
To Remain in A Relationship with my boyfriend
To Show People i Can Do it.

My Boyfriend Wrote This Poem

I Want Her To Love Me
As Much As She Loves her drug
Crystal ****.
I Want Her To Care About Me
How She Cares About Getting high.
I Want Her To Spend Time With Me
How She spends her time
Hitting the pipe
I Want Her To Come to Me When shes upset
Just how she reachs **** for support
I Want To Be The Only
One She Thinks About
I Want Her To See Me As Her Addictive Drug.

I Love You.
Why Don't You Believe Me?
I Care Alot About You.
Why Do You Say i Don't?
My Life Revovles Around Your Existence.
You Tell Me You
Don't Feel Loved
You Tell Me You Feel Unwanted
You Tell Me i Don't Spend Enough Time With You.
Why iS This Baby?
I Dedicate All My Time To You!
Even in My Mind
I Think About You All Day All Night
I Drive My Self Crazy
Im Crazy About You.
Ugh i love You So ****** much.

Your My Support Right ?
You Tell Me To Stop Using Drugs Right?
You Want me Sober Completely
Right?
When You Drink
You Trigger Me, That Temps Me.
I Look Up To You
You Drink When Your Upset
To Cope At Times Right ?
Every time You Do,
I Get The Craving Of Wanting something In my body too,
When i See you Take sips
It temps me
And i get the feeling of wanting to take a Dope hit.
I Would Like For You To Stop.
Drinking Completely
For Me.
Not Just Because it makes me want to use, but also
For Your own good.
I love You

iDont Think
iCould Continue On
ILove Him So Much, But Seeing Him Face To Face
Just Reminds Me Of How ive Done Him Wrong.
The Feel Of Guilt And Shame
How iWish iNever Tried Drugs.
The Reason
To Most of Our Conflicts.
im Laying Down
Emotions Just Tipping Around
Thinking For A Solution
IFeel i Should Just Set Him Free Because All I've Done
Was Just  Disappoint Him
Hes Honestly
Better Off Finding
Another Girl Rather Than me
Iv Done to much
I Feel So Bad
And Don't Think il Ever Forgive Myself For The Lies i Made Him Believe.
I Don't Know How To Express How Much pain
Im Actually Feeling .
Knowing My Lover Now Sees Me Different
And i know he has lost feelings.
How i Regret
Not Being honest from the very start.

The Person i Made
The Commitment Of Maintaining Sober
Is The Same Person Who
i Relapse Over.
Yes, He Supports Me And Motivates Me Towards Succeeding.
But At Times He Tells Me Things That Trigger Me To Relapsing.
So i Question My Self How This is Supposed To.Work?
Hes The Potion But Posion As Well.
Like in The past
He Was The Reason Why iRan Away To Go Use To Forget How Hurt And used he Made me Feel.
But Then
Was The Reason i Accepted Rehab All Over Again.
Called Me And Supported Me Those 3 months, i Became Sober Once Again For Him.
When i Got Out
2 Weeks later i Did it Again
Because Of The Same Person.
Ever since i Kept ******* Up
Iwas Already in Good steps,
Motivated looked happy and healthy but **** happened that made me want to fall.
The Funny Thing.
This Very Same Man Turned into My Boyfriend.
And Yet Still hes One of my triggers.

I'm Craving Meths Euphoria flow
I'm Sorry Baby
if your reading this But I can't resist to hold this thought in.
Knock knock
It's My Dealer At The door
delivering a Fat sack of
Crystal Rocks
Drop Some, Cut it, line it
One Line
Snort it Fast
Crushed Up Well, Burns like hell
Sniff After Sniffs
Eyes Turned Glossy, Shred A Tear. Seconds later
Felt the Drip Tingle
Down my Throat bitter taste
One Line Two Lines
I'm Beginning To Feel Heightened a sense of Pride and Self Worth Very Confident Awake and Alert.
One Line Two Lines Three Lines
I'm Feeling Amazing, energetic, Talkative
One Line Two Lines Three Lines four
I feel As if I Own And Accomplished Everything in This Word.
Unlimited Happiness all in Just
One Dose.
One Line
I Fell In Love With Its Every Effect.
I forever want to feel this way
One Line Two Lines
IDont Ever Want to stop I'm sprung
I want to continue on
One Line Two Lines Three Lines
I'll Keep Using, it's so strong Fantastic iDc if iOver Dose
One Line Two Lines Three Lines four.
I want More I Need More.