I'm Down
Lowering To the ground
With every minute that passes
I'm Caring less
Depression is manifesting
Addiction is controlling
I'm not wanting
These bad feelings are pouring
Bones are aching I feel so weak
I Don't Want, I feel I have too
I warned myself, where's my brain? The mentality of Wanting to change ? My hope? My strength?
Why don't I feel like changing anymore. I'm not afraid to lose Nomore
I'm feining now.. for tweak
IM sorry, I warned Me
I knew this would happen
I have already forgotten
I'm ok now, with being a Drug Addict ...
I lost my ways within 2 weeks
All because my heart broke
I lost my hope
It can't be

I Want To bleed Out..
Why, Why couldn't it be true.
Y Couldn't you stay true
I'm still Inlove with us
All I Wanted was trust
I'm so saddened
I feel so lost
Not because of the drug
The facts That I believed in you
When it was lust you viewed
My hearts now broken
A feeling I wished to never be a victim too.
How i wish my imaginations were true. How I wish my dreams of You Were True.
You Were the one
I gave myself to you before you made me your 1.
I'm devastated
Not even the drug could cure it
My pain is so Deep
I've never felt this weak
I'm hurting more
Than I've hurt Before
I'm Wanting Nothing
But To Be free
Not from drugs, from misery
I want to bleed out & leave
What's the point in living?
You killed me
Nomore Chances, no more excuses
I suffered 4 years
Tortured with all your *******
It's so funny ...
How you still want to place yourself in a position where Your the one hurting ..
There is no more sorrys
No apology can ever fix me
You've accomplished
The days of pleasure & company
For your self
Your self centered ****** self
Never once hugged me
When I was crying & suffering
Never there for me
When I needed you the most
"the past , it was the past "
You continued Throughout the years. You never stoped hurting me. You still do till this day.
If you really cared? Then why tf is my heart now broken !!

What's there to be Sober
Please tell me?
My heart is broken
I have nothing to look forward to.
Everything is crushed
My emotions Are all ******
Not because the drug
But The fact I opened up
In fear of Getting Mistreated
That's exactly what I received
Betrayal that can't be forgivin
I can't forget
it haunts me every day
I knew It wasn't right to give my Love away to some I thought was the one to stay ..
I Was deceased
My Love Was Harshly Torn apart. I don't understand?
I was always doing Great.
That was my last chance of happiness
A Chance of being loved mutually was the only cure to resolve my sick drug addiction .
It failed
I have nothing to look up to anymore.
God doesn't exist
I deserve a good life

All I Wanted was Real love.
I just Wanted someone's touch
To be specific I Wanted him
He's the reason I gave in
To open up a side of me
that's never been seen
I allowed to love
I put my guard down
Something I've never done
For no one
Even The Thoughts of drugs slowly drove out
I was focused On
His where abouts
He became my new addiction
I got lost on his smile
idk What made me Fall in love
He was not Sweet, he wasn't nice
I guess it was the drug that put me in a dream.
It got me seeing things that I'd wish he'd really be like..
I wasn't right
Now I'm hating on my self
All these drugs
These ****** Drugs ****** me worser than I've been before.
Now because of this
I want them more.
This relationship has been a lie
The Substance but him in disguise
Oh my mind how it failed
To see the truth of what was real
That love I fell for
Wasn't ever real.
My babylove
It proved it's self
Thats the deal, that's the only thing that's never done me wrong.

*** is wrong with you?
Are you really ****** serious.
Knock it tf out before
I knock you out.
That **** ain't ok??
****** stupid ***!!
How can you seriously start thinking like that?!
He's your bf!
Don't let the dope get to your brain! He can't **** this!!

I relieve all my Sadness at night.
That's when I can go all out.
Get high, Feel on one.
All my feelings vanish.
It's so great.
Throughout the Day I'm Usually Coming Down. It's wearing off
It was active throughout the night and Wore offf As the sun Came.,
My Bf hasn't seen me literally lit..
He never will. Il never let it happen.
My tolerance built fast.
The Day has came.
Where it's all gone
I can't buy more now.
Il Be back
I remebeeed  how good life was on drugs. Thank you lover for pushing my limits ❤️

I love the way you ignore me.
I love it when you make me feel like I don't exist.
I love The way You Say You care
Although you are never there.
To hold me & make me feel better.
You Always say an excuse when it comes To comforting me.
"You push me away, You talk ****"
Yet it's so easy for You to
Disrespect & Diss me.
How Can You carry that heart.
How can you express it to someone who's done nothing but listen and Obey.
For you to take advantage and Betray.
You'll fall inlove again.
I know You will.
With new *****.
A cute Face & Nice body.
Will hypnotize you &
il Be easy to forget.
Farewell

How can You gain irritation and Hate for me so quickly?
Frustration & anger So Easy?
Yet, I've done nothing Serious.
But
When it comes to some other
You Don't fuss or bother.
You Connect as if nothing , forget the situation & you continue to be friends.
It's me you have an issue with.
Why? What have I done?
I can't do more for you..
Cause You barely Show me affection...
I'm mutual now
Equal/even For everything
I'm done being a Puppet
Done doing What You Want me To
Bye now
Go be happy with Your Thirsty dog friends. Don't lie about , within that same Week You'll be back to your ******* ways.
Thank you for everything you have done. I'm still here
Lonely just getting drugged up to **** me slowly .

Find it gross that I've abused drugs? I find it disgusting That you play with girls hearts.
I don't care if it's a turn off.
I'm not trying to impress anyone but make my own self feel better.
In A Stage where all
Bad Doesn't exist
My life is all rotten so I feel nothing.
Which is good
Nobody wants me anyways.
I have no life , body or Pretty.

Its not Strong enough.
I want to feel it all the way.
These thoughts are eating up my brain. My only love?
He's doing his own thang.
Cause he Doesn't care.
Says he does, but baby you ain't really There. Your actions show the opposite of what you claim.
It's Fine. You have always Been that way.
I Wish I wasn't using When I met you. The drug blocked all The negative That poured out of You.
"Idk how to love"
You learn. You search.
You don't have to live in a certain household To know how to be a good person. Your careless & selffish. You deny all your blames and Victimize the pain im feeling towards you. Makes no sense!
That's why.
I want Stronger. To forget all these ****** up Convos.
A Ligter, cotton , a Spoon & needle.
Yes,  I'm getting near.
I can't put up with feeling more sadness!! I'm suffering & you let me. Your letting me Continue wanting to use by You feeling dissapointed & ignoring me.
Pretty ****** up
I'm killing me slowly & all you want is to get over me.
Cause "I talk to much ****"
Well **** Popa stop giving me reasons and stop pointing the finger at me !!

All I Wanted Was REAL LOVE.
Look At me.
I Expirenced what I never wanted
A Broken Heart.
Now I'm Stuck on these Drugs Trying To dump those feelings out
Knowing They Will Be gone only if I Use Forever.
I can't believe I'm still A sad person!
Nobody Will understand
how hurt.
They Are so used to me feeling & Looking  this and Think it's ok.
I'm dying Badly inside.
Driving myself insane.
The one who promised to Keep me sane? Ended up Piling more pain.
Feels like an endless game.
My emotions being gambled Whenever They want to be entertained.

I'm on this path again.
Not because I want to.
It's the only way to love you.
Which is so wrong & ****** up.
How far I must go to forget The Pain & Sadnes that You make me go though.
How are you ok with this?
How can you let your girl hurt more.
She's depressed and Hafefull of her body & self.
You hardly attempt Anythjng to make her great. Your so good at excuses "oh you'll talk ****" but it's so easy for you to cause me stress.
Set me free & let me go.
Let me Finally live life.
Expierence the world Without Being judged & learn to love Sobriety.

I'm done
With Our love &
anything involved
with you.
I can't continue on with this ****.
I want both SS
Sober & Single.
Find me a new life outside of you.
I'm Always suffering
I'm sad, Down & frusterated.
I'm always told
"Your young & beautiful"
"There are better men in the world"
I contemplated at first.
Saying il never love another.
I shouldn't think like that.
I shouldn't hate Love because of 1 that Ruined and broke my heart.
I have hope.
I don't want to smoke dope.
Il one day be happy.
Feel good naturally.
Someone will come across me
Who is a true Bf
Who will not make me feel bad
Who will truly love me for me.
At the mean times
I'm done being played silly
I'm going to focus on my Sobriety.
Eventually someone New will come between me & treat me how I'm deserved to be.
I'm a great girl who can do amazing things.
Aslong as I'm played dearly fairly.
Looking forward To a real love.
The one I had, Well You
lost a good one