Gardening can be good for your mind
watching the flowers that grow around your heel
but unknown to me they also grow in your mind
grow in your feelings, as in real life
and I am going to chase, that cat, that digs them up
squirt it with a water pisstol
and shout!   **** the dam!   well off!
but never hurt it
but on days i find
that garden which I tend,
try's to hurt me back
watch out for the roses
after sratching my arm bad and watching it bleed
it was as if the rose asked me a question back
saying I rip your skin and give you pain
but never sratch your soul
that made me think
can in you in the private garden of your soul get hurt?

For I have games in my head
Play, play ball
for none of you know how surreal I am
nor not where I go to
in this head of mine
you can never guess
for my head is mind
it is a world of my own.

Mr Ball
entered into my head two times
one when I broke his greenhouse windows
the other at school, his wife, had to teach me, they both died
no NO I did not **** them, far, from it
they both lived 80 years or more.

Now Mrs May was quite mad
she was so mixed up in her head
she would walk out in her back garden
and shout out at the flowers
I was young, never knew where she went
maybe a mental home, that now, would be my guess.

My life will blow you mind right off
these are people, during my life knew
so lets play ball
Catch.

Do not not drop the ball anything else that may come with
Just ******* catch
Hold the Ball.

Yes it sings
at night in my darkest hour
my mind sings to me
some nights
it will not let me alone
i wake and usauly ****
there is no trees in my bedroom
lay back
and what dose my mind do
it sings
my mind does not know when to leave me alone
so I count sheep
does not help much but at least i tryied
so tonight
mind please *******
let me dream something for myself.

Owwwwwhh!
just did that again
don't ask me why
she did just
So tell me why
just because
In my own mind
I just have to know
just because
who is just
answer me that !

Just sitting
listening to Alan Parsons
Rubbing Germolene
into my arm
after a battal with the roses
in my garden
rubbing in Germolene
as my arms now stinging
trying to relax
picking up my pen
and writting words down
try to make sense of them all
as the fumes
of the Germolene ant nice
but stopped the stinging in my arm
Germolene
the gardeners
best friend
and makes you smell like
you've just come
from the gym
P@ul.

Whats so good about love
if I carn't be with you
all I feel is the loss
now you have gone
I feel down like I am about to drown in my own tears
I about to break down and cry
dear Mom
who will look after me now
who will tell me when I am wrong
who will set me on the right path
you ever lovin son P@ul rest in peace.

Remember
if you fall
watch out
for tears
if you fall
into water
hold your breath
never breath in
so do not cry for me or yourself
just incase you fall
right into your
own tears.

For no longer will it be here
upload load it
record it
for it's
here right now
listen to what it said
read on
for when I have gone
I will no longer be here
and my soul will be done
with this universe
please do tell me when I am wrong
for how else would know
what is, but, you know.

Dear Joan,

My Mom,

Our Mom,

Our grandmother,

Our Great Grand Mom,


Dear Mom.

My mother dear when ever you hold me
all the things that hurt me are gone.


My mother.

when I needed you
you are always there
somehow when you held me
all thing bad are no longer there
like when I fell and hurt my head
on the garden gate
remember waking up
and you are there kissing all
the bad things alway from my head.


Dear Joan our mother dear,

Where have you gone
I am at a loss to know
where are you
when I need you now

Mother you must always know
we will always love you
as you did so much us.

R.I.P. With Love Joan our mother so dear to us.

Now I am a man
well you might call me layed back
easy going, soft spoken
but man if I clench my teeth
I am a man you wish you did not know
P@ul means a small brown worror
so your better off trying to make me smile
Don't make me mad
don't bring out my devil
that dewls inside
of what you think
is your heaven
and donn't
make them
put me back
into room 77.

Is an art
Sometimes my mind is free
living Life free is an art
But far
is in the stars
I know my limattations
I walk in the shadows
but I know my own mind
not esay living at the far point
but here i am
hold my hand
if you can
you will not hold my brain
which is of at the far point
for that's what am
here I am
in that which I call myself

OFF at the FAR point
go left at mars into stars
Hug me before
it turn into afternoon
hold my hand
your welcome
now baby that is far out.

I have two eyes
twin toes
two legs
only one hip
and my heart is covered
by a six pack
by all the twos
got ribs
have ******* 14 of them
two sevens
two arms
two major veins in my neck
but only one head
how did that happen
but my one brain thinks
of all things
two by two at night.

Today I brought a new computer
it's small like me, it like me has a powerful CPU
on top of all, the electircal things
mybe it will make me bright
but unlike me
it cannot walk about
the internet is it's only access
to this world of ours
it has no eyes, unlike me
seeing thing's in black and white
will all it wil be
it wil not see pain, or feel it
enclosed in it's shiny silver case
so for me my new computer
is just a tool
in which I work through.