Tell me, where do I begin?
I guess I'll start by saying that to me you are a 10
Simply divine, I'm blessed that you are mine,
I swear that when I kiss you I feel like I'm on cloud 9.
There's no debate, call it destiny or fate.
You would not believe the amount of butterflies I 8.
My pretty angel, when you smile, heaven sings.
For you, I'll gladly commit, all 7 deadly sins.
I wanna build my life with you, you could take your pick,
Till infinity or beyond? Between five kids or 6?
Around you, I seem to lower my defenses
I take my time and make use of all 5 of my senses.
Everything feels so perfect to me, now more than ever.
Do the math, add me plus you, that equals love 4ever.
You and me, and a baby, a family of 3,
2 parts of a whole, you're the other half of me.
So my dear, to make it clear, you're second place to none
It's plain to see, so obviously, to me, you are the 1.

Misery loves company..
So we are well acquainted.
A zombie with some pensive thoughts
Everything, offense enough
To make me ask myself,
"If I was dead, too"? Who'd be better off?

Now, i rarely tend to dream,
But when i do, they're nightmares,
They barely get a rise from me,
At the most, they're slight scares.
Reality is gruesome, sad ,
And way more frightening.
The shock of your sudden departure hit me like dark lightning.
Yea, life isn't fair.
It's not all joy and bright sunshine.
But there's no suffering that don't ease with the passing of time.

I have a hole inside my heart.
I fear that will not change.
A part of me, died then with you.
I'll never be the same.
When I found out that you had passed,
I nearly lost my mind.
Instead, I lost a part of me,
A part I'll never find.
How can I make this pain hurt less?
I ask and beg and pray,
If for eternal pain, I'd have you here,
I'd trade today.

How could words explain what I feel?
Letters etch my tattered tale?
A broken shell, a hollow soul,
My heart, so cold and pale.
Now how to cope, what do I do?
I feel so lost, it's true.
The world came crashing down on me
the second I lost you.

The despair I felt was nothing like I've ever felt before.
I never thought that I could cry until my soul was sore.
I cried until my heart hurt. I cried until my eyes hurt.
I cried until I couldn't cry, and then I cried some more.
I never thought this day would come,
not this way, this soon.
Every day I wonder what I'll do now without you.
That very thought consumes me, I'm filled with grief and rage.
To think you'll never get to see your nephew come of age.

3 Mondays ago, my whole life changed.
3 Mondays ago was the day I found out my brother died. 3 Fridays ago, I saw him in a casket and he looked so peaceful, so calm. Last week, I watched him get cremated. The last time I'll have seen him on this earth.

When I was young, I used to look up to him. He used to work out. A lot. I always used to poke his muscles in awe and say "I want to be as strong as you when I grow up!" Before he'd leave to the gym or anywhere else, he'd kiss me on my cheek and we'd tell each other 'I love you'. He loved his family. A lot. He was always making people laugh. Most likely where I got my sense of humor from. The way he'd always smile and make me laugh. That was just in his nature. He was so gentle, so peaceful. He'd never hurt a fly.. Except that time he broke a bottle on a guy's head because he hit my dad in the back with a pool stick. He was my big brother. I love him. So much. And I miss him so, so much. I am so proud of him. I hope I learn to be half the man he was.