Am I worth keeping
Alive more than some other
Broken-hearted soul?

She loved to quickly and fell too far,
Little care taken for that little heart,
Beating so strong, so furious still,
Though now limp and leaking,
Ripped and ragged
From one loss after
Another.

She tries to keep smiling just as before
But her lips were spat out again, onto the floor,
She followed then, soaked with rain and tears,
Her trust tackled,
Quivering, quarter-hearted,
And pulse fading so
Fast.

Rain soaked windows
drag a hand the world,
stretching, distorting,
long ripples curl
as if in a wake,
the houses obscured
and tree branches fluid
their currents disturbed
everything altered
and painted with grey
as oil paints run
from the sky down a pane.

These days would be
Easier
If I just hid away
And stayed quiet
To let it play itself out.

The conflict would be
Simpler
If I ignored my own feelings
And just let them
Find their own solution

This journey would be
Shorter
If we just stopped following me
And kept to the
Paths they need to walk.

Coloured shards
Now nothing but the ashes
Of the beauty they once held
Burnt in an instant by
Stupidity's servants'
Brutish hands.

The air has no bite today,
It is little more than a sigh
'Gainst the skin of a lover's neck,
And her caresses' heat
Reaches below the surface,
To calm the stirring of the soul.

We settled back in to a rhythm
That had never quite felt right
And seemed to impose itself
Above the beating of our hearts
And took over our breathing
In favour of 'more important' things.

We fell out of time
And into the emptiness of
Lives without purpose
But that we filled with our own
Unrecognised goals.

We broke ourselves away,
As the gears had eroded,
And started to slip between
The cracks in the machine.

We lay for a while,
Unmoving and uncaring,
But content with that.

We became a new being,
Aiming only for the future.

We set ourselves free.

As interests and education collide
The complexities of my character
Fall away one by one
Each individuality smoothed over
Streamlined
Until all variations are wiped away
To uncover a focused machine
With one goal alone
I am tireless by name alone
As I process the backlog
Integrate new discoveries
With forgotten truths

So it's time to hide again,
Behind a broken figurehead,
Dust off the mask and wear it
Not proud, ashamed,
But not allowed to show it,
So I'll let the mask hold my tears,
And shed them at home.

Breathing slow
Eyes closed
A second
Of silence
And softness
Left to dream
In the night

Looking on as they take their places
Familiar faces now behind a door
I'm cut-off from their new world
A story told in my absence
I know they'd still welcome me
But I welcome the arms of sleep
Instead.

I hadn't expected
This to take so long,
So many glitches,
Corruptions,
Distractions,
Delayed these,
Randomnesses,
And as the light faded,
My frustration grew
Until finally,
Every wrinkle was
Ironed out.

Professional?
Never.
There is no order to this
Organisation built on random
Ideas and words
That came to our heads one Thursday.
But now it has become
A messy reality
With all the inconveniences
That the real world brings
And all the stupid,
Silly moments
We harness.