I am so quiet on the outside
So loud within
And maybe you can hear it,
If you really listen.

Sometimes I just want to scream
Assuring myself it's all a bad dream
Lying to myself so it won't seem
As hopeless.

I'm stuck in this gray place,
Just trying to get by everyday.
Why did I ever settle for this way
Of life?

When a chill goes up and down my spine
When I finally realize that you're mine
I should be grateful, happy, should feel fine
But I find myself walking such a fine line.

It's funny how I feel for you
Like when you make the sky turn a perfect blue
Like when you make it all seem so brand new
All these beautiful things you do.

I am not in love with you like a boy loves a girl
And you are not the center of my world
Yet you are such an important puzzle piece,
Such an essential part of me.

Everything just goes black.
A no breathing attack.
I tried for so long, imagine that.
Wherever I came from,
I'm now going back.

What's happening to me
All of a sudden
I don't understand
I wake up not knowing what time it is,
Maybe not even what day it is.
I panic, not knowing where I am
Or if I do know, it just doesn't seem real.

I can't understand why I do it
Every day, it drives me insane.
If only I believed I was better than this.
If only I respected myself more.
Living life the same, day after day.
I just want this monotony to go away.