Here is the line;
Be careful, it is fine.
You better not try me;
I'm an expert at feeling angry.
Watch where you step,
Or crack an eggshell with regret.
It's all just a stupid test.
Even I haven't figured it out yet.

Closing my eyes
Trying to envision some kind of prize
A gold medal at the end of the day
Could it wash my apathy away?

I built this beautiful castle of lies
All around me
Searching for some truth,
And finding nothing.

I remember the first few times
When I just tried to put it out of my mind.
I would replay the events and edit each part.
I would switch the finish with the start.
A chaotic scene, a jumbled mess.
Images racing through my head.
After I pressed pause, part of me stopped.
Then another part just started back up.
I'm moving forward while I'm standing still.
I'm feeling that friction; it's giving me chills.

Whenever this happens,
I just white it out.
I keep opening up to you,
Despite all my doubt.
Looking back, I always come to regret it,
Wishing I didn't feel so weak and pathetic.
Erase, erase, erase
Anything that can save face
Anything that keeps me out of that dark, helpless place.

You can't shut me up, you can't get rid of me.
I will always be here, no matter what you do.
You can love or hate me, but I'll still be part of you.
You can try to drown me in alcohol or blood,
But I'll stay in my place, welcoming the flood.

The chaos in my mind has been brewing
So quietly, so still.
It's driving me crazy; I would rather be ill.
I just want to feel, again and again.
I don't care if it hurts; I want the pain to seep in,
To every part of me so I know that I'm here,
So I can face that real reflection in the mirror.
I want to see those eyes shed at least one single tear;
I am so sick of that blank, empty stare.