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annie Sep 2013
I have become accustomed
to the feeling
of building up walls
only to have them shatter
engulfing me
in false pretenses
inadequate misinformation
and all-around
good for nothing
lies

trying to wade through the dust
get out
get out
only to have it
grow
bigger
deeper
impossible to escape

now
I know how to swim
but for some reason
all knowledge alludes my mind
leaving me frozen
not like ice though
because I sink
drowning
down
down

now choking on the dust
ashes
of memories
people
lives that once danced
to the song of life
with me
now trap me
in darkness

but wait
I can see a light
the dust, once settled
stirs just so
a foot marches overhead
I try
screaming
nothing
not a sound
I remember
how frozen I am
thanks to my cold heart

the footsteps past
I am left in darkness
unable to stay in this world
unable to make a move to leave
unable to tell
real reality from my reality
annie Sep 2013
I may not know
the situation
exactly
that you are suffering
but I know
the feeling
of a knife
stabbing straight through your heart
stealing precious life
love
everything
away
I know that you have to lie to yourself
pretend to be okay
stretch to the limit
snap a couple times
but it's okay
because there will always be someone there
to glue your shattered pieces
back together
and if there comes a day
when all is lost
and no-one seems to listen
know
in your broken and shredded heart
that you
are beautiful
and you
are worth every
minute
of your existence
so darling
smile
you only need yourself
annie Sep 2013
poking through
wishing it hurt
never enough
to break this

every word
pushing in
maybe this time
i'll change it

but can anything
really be felt any more
pushing and hitting
and wishing for more
hell
I'll escape it
or maybe just change it
settle in
make it my home
annie Sep 2013
just a slip of the tongue
leading to something said
               more left unsaid
the latter cutting deeper
leaving more
to doubt

just a slip of the blade
leading to secrets
              always left unsaid
never cutting deep enough
leaving me empty
and full of doubt

just a slip of the brain
leading to something
              better left unsaid
cutting right through me
leaving more questions
and unspoken lies
annie Sep 2013
im not sure
but if i had to pick
one motto
for my
sad life
i ****** up
seems pretty suitable

im not sure why
but i **** everything up
annie Sep 2013
writing it down
marking it up
hello
my name is
nothing
but you
my dear
are beautiful
annie Sep 2013
i heard
you finally found someone
the one
congrats
i guess i'll never know
that feeling
but that's just a side effect

i heard
she was beautiful
the kind of girl
i'll never be
the kind of girl
i oh so dearly wish i could be
i should be
but i guess
that would be a miracle
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