maybe
i should let you try
because i'm wondering how
you could possibly want this

maybe
i should keep you from falling
one more time
even though i may fall, myself

maybe
you're for me
but maybe you're not
i guess we'll never know

so self-important
unaware
          that the world
          is crumbling
          right before their eyes
too naïve
          to realize
          the truth
          just outside their grasps
so why
          am I
          not like
          them

I forgot
what it meant
to be happy
so I fell
s l i p p i n g
   d
     o
       w
         n
never
touching the ground
no space
to move
to grow
to live
e x i s t i n g
in a false
reality
no escape
(not that I really want one)
stuck
in this hole
no
way
out

walls
all around me
                                crumbling
self I destruction
due to unforseen
                                intentions
not by me
by
                                 you
just looking
for a way to
                                  have
a sense of hope
after this is all
                                   destroyed
but alas, the one hurt
is not you, but
                                   me

dear daddy
I'm sorry
for making you feel
bad enough
that you had to lash out
back at me

dear daddy
I'm sorry
for not being your perfect daughter
one you could
be proud of
love
forever

dear daddy
I'm sorry
for everything I've said
through tears
through pain
that obviously caused you
so much suffering
that you needed to be mad at me

dear daddy
you should be sorry
for the years
that you stole
from me
in your frenzy
for power
glory
and love

dear daddy
why are you not sorry
for hurting
your little princess
you were my king
but now
I am just
another ghost
in your castle halls

***
youre depressed
cool
me too
let's be best friends

wait up guys
I'm totally depressed too
my boyfriend
just dumped me
and now
I'm totally over him
but I'm acting sad for sympathy

aha
excuse me
but I think
I'm depressed
too
I mean
I haven't
ever
felt like everything was worthless
but I just
chipped a nail
and I feel sad

excuse me
but I don't believe
that is the meaning
of depression
mental illnesses
are not a choice
are not something
you should want
you should wish upon
your worst enemy
next time
you say
"***
I haven't eaten
in like
3 hours
I must be
anorexic"
think about
what that really
m.  e.   a.   n.   s.

defensive
holding up
against the perpetual fall
of degrading words
piercing through every so often
widening the holes until I am left
defenceless
slowly being
stabbed
in all the right places
but somehow
still needing
to add a little
pleasure
periodically