you've told me before
i'm nothing
             to you
worthless

i know

that if you ever saw me
how i wished
you would
you would see
something
              everything
far from
the me
you once
          (never)
knew

you
are nothing but
the cool breeze
on the hottest of days
drifting off the ocean
smelling of briny
healthy life
inspiring hand-holds
first kisses
and sighs off relief

you
are everything
serene and lovely
about the way that the world smells after the first rain
following a long drought
spreading the promise of new life
children frolicking in the fresh fields
total disregard
for anything
that could try to spoil their fun

but you
cannot see this
i do not understand
why
or
how

all i know
is you
are lovely
and
you
are everything

i've developed
a predicament
not a traditional one
like the sun being beautiful
but not wanting a tan

my heart
is consuming
my mind
with its petty
wants
and wishes

telling it
to put
life
on hold
for its simple desires
too risky to try
too terrifying to not

but how
can i not give in
when it is all me
even if
i know
it is truly
never
me

hold me
like a father would his babe
like a lover would his mate

hold me
until the day I die
         let me die in your arms

hold me
protect me from this storm
that I seem to be unable to escape

hold me
through this muddled pond
full of unforseen circumstances and unforgettable consequences

hold me
when I cannot hold myself
anymore