Sweat is dripping, time is ticking, the night is thickening, very thickening.
Rhythm of the hearts beat sway back and fourth, sharing off the same song.
The smell of burning desire in the air, the taste now lingers in my mind.
Timid are my movements and insecure are my actions.
With this there was no satisfaction.
In your laughter and in your smile, I found nothing but hollow promises.
I found nothing..
Sweat is dripping, time is ticking, the night is thickening, very thickening.

I took the pills two by two.
Three-thousand, six-hundred milligrams so true, so true.
My body, my mind, their taking control.
My feelings my touch, begin to fade, begin to go.
Six of them I took, some more, some more..
valumes I popped, I'm on the floor.
My knee's are weak and my mind is clear, nothing but pills, the pills are here.
I fear they'll take me, fear that I'll fail and fall.
But on the pills I don't care at all.
Popping them,
loving them,
I'm not letting them go,
my addiction and submission of the friends I now know.
I took the pills, two by ******* two.
I took them all.

Prostitution is a sin,
so follow me and fit right in.
take my hand and let me lead you,
into the place that wants to feed you,
feed you lies with vile taste.
She swallow's them all with hope of truth,
they trickle down her throat with belief.
For years she had known the touch of old lonely men,
it filled her with grief.
She was scared of what would happen, so she kept the ***** secrets in.
She was UN-pure.
She has no family, let alone no friends,
shes destruction at it's finest.
So turn on your red illuminating light and take a stroll into the night,
to reminisce about the ***** you used to know.
*******.

Rage, yes it fills me.
Burning August red, Rage, yes it heals me.
Once I've let it out, I can't let it back in,
You might want to step back, it's about to begin.
I've called to the rage that resides within,
I tell myself this is it, and I let go of myself where I once wrote of happiness.
The memory's are suddenly my own self destruction,
I am my own self destruction.
F
      A
              L
                      L
                              I
                                        N
                                                   G.
Faster than I can even imagine.
While my inner angels are dying,
Gods of a sort are crying,
This rage I'm filled with is never dying.
Raging for Eternity.

Another face,
Another girl,
More legs,
More lips,
More ***,
More lust,
Mistaken for love,
and repeat.

Run red scarlet, run far from it.
Go a distance wise and far,
get out of here,
Save who you are.
Burst into the abyss of the black burning nightfall.
Delirious I am with the stars leading my scarlet into the mystery of the dark relentlessness dusk.
Soon she will remorse with self-indulgence to erase the pain that I have caused so greatly.
Her exterior is clear,
a disguise. 
             No more S                             S.
                                        M                   E              
                             I        L
              No more knowing the warmth of attention.                        
Her interior is hollow,
Within her nothing lies.
There is no room for second- thought,
no memory.
Soon I will have forgot.
My hands and mind begin to numb,
undergoing the extremely earnest burning pleasure of hope,
I know this feeling.
In my gut It's just another effort, I am just another endeavor.
Every sensation,
   just a tingle to my skin,
the chills swarm down my spine as I quiver again.
Plush and soft are your lips against mine,
sick and remorseful is your leave,
please flee my scarlet,
run away from me.
Run red scarlet.

Soft is the tone of your mellow heartbeat,
electric is the feeling when our lips meet.
manipulating are your illuminating eyes stripping me of all my control and will power.
Seductive you are, this time, this hour.
The silent ballet of your moans play through my ears like a first string quartet,
I can't fight it,.. the thoughts in my head,..
this is what resulted me in your bed.
You have toyed with me for the last time.
I'm letting it all out,
I'm trying to unwind.
Both bodies adrenaline beating in unison,
both bodies still in motion with the wants, the need of a ****.
To feel close again,..
But after.. I'm A
                              L
                               ­     O
                                              N
                                                                ­      E... AGAIN
The lust you portray is no greater than your desire,
The power I feel of your red lustful fire.
I know I feel you, I can feel your warmth.
I know your here, so please don't torment.
My small,
innocent,
heart.
You lay your body across mine,
both of us vulnerable,
skin to skin.
this is it..
****** me.
Your hands, I can feel them,
Your chest also heaving against mine,
back and forth we commit the lustful and desirable sin.
I've had my fulfillment,
my satisfaction.
I've been seduced by your bewildering attraction.
Now it's my turn to make you feel alive.

Who could know or even begin to question a situation like this?
A sensation of such bliss, penetrating my so called sadness, this so called sadness.
Expressions shared between you and me, both just longing to be nurtured and free.
Now tearing down the invisible walls that we built and burrow in.
I'm feeling these feelings of passion once again, wanting the company of my toxic nitro glycerin.
Her smiles are doubtful and forces a frown upon me, but I hold my smile so I can show you I'm happy.
Finally so happy.
While the beating in my heart, I can't ignore no more.
I'm going to kiss you like I use to once before.
To put ease to this horror that I live for,
she that I live for.
My sensational horror

She is the sunrise,
her smile being the radiant sun that grow out from the crisp winter-day and into the beautiful sky of sparkling snow-flakes.
Her sunshine covered my darkness and filled me with warmth.
But when she left, darkness crept back into my cold world.
It claimed me, the loneliness.
Something I fought so hard to forget.
Something I never wanted to face again.
She was the sunrise.
Now she's my darkest days.

Tears fall like black silhouettes,
hearts call with the nerve to forget.
Love in idleness, must it be true?
I fell in this deep but ardent love with you.
Day by day I seek your call,
I seek for you but I find nothing at all.
Drowning I am in water a million miles deep,
drowning I am, right below your feet.
I write to forget you, I write to forget.
I hate to remember you. I just can't ever regret.
What we had, the things we've said...
Tossing and turning I miss your touch,
remembering you is making me ache so much.
I tried to forget your touch, I tried to forget.
But you being my informal number-one really shook me.
Leaving my heart broken in despair.
I was      S     C     A     T     T     E     R     E     D.
Under any circumstances did I ever really matter to you.
Never will I cease believing on behalf of the silhouettes in the monotonous evening.
The deceiving silhouettes in the evening.

Rainy day,
Red lights,
Rail road signs buzzing but there is no train.
The day is strange.

They do not look,
they do not gaze,
they do not have eyes like your's or mine.
They have no soul,
they have no meaning,
just to stand there with life no longer gleaming.
There is no spark,
there is no life,
only the demons in the middle of the night.
Once they were people,
like You and I,
once they were people,
but then they died.
Their faces, contorted.
Fingernails filled with dirt,
No family,
no friends,
you could not fathom their world of hurt.
No faces,
no one,
they are not people.
just demons in the middle of the street.

Another finger tip,
another fine gentle brush of your skin.
Like a canvas you have painted this master piece.
Yet the pieces are made of me.
As the water colors start to run,
So do my emotions.
Or what is left of them.
I've really ****** up.
I've really ****** up.
I've really ****** up.
And now,
the canvas is complete.
First love,
gone.
First ****,
gone.
First soul mate,
gone.
I'm in pieces,
and soon I will be gone.

Her lies, I believe them.
Her story, changes all the time.
I love her to much to disown her, because she is mine.
She doesn't want me, I can see so far,
She doesn't care because she's leaving me.
The scandal.

The tribulation of my early years have not brought me redemption,
but sought out the comfort I called karma and turned it against me.
I the one man army against the many bad things I have done,
They have now caught up with me and now I am in for the run of my life.
I have denied God and his existence, and to deny him, you are denying living,
there is definitely heaven and hell and I'm in between it.

Waking up bare,
UN aware of the consequence that lay next to me.
A mistake took place in this bed.
Another regret.

Lust with your hurt, live with your lies.
Kiss with secrets, crawl to survive.
We are living, we are alive.
Tormenting me slowly, tearing me apart.
You stole something from me and it was my heart.
It took you three days to break down the walls.
On the tenth you burned down the whole town.
Hour one without you, did you think I would doubt you?
With my heart in your pocket and my soul lay at your feet. I’m reckless.
I don’t think we knew anything about love; we were just scared to be alone at the time.
You were my rock and I was your shield.
Keeping us both safe in the comfort that the both of us were there.
You took everything you could get, and left me with nothing.
Nothing is all I ever got in return from you.
You used me.
That’s all I ever felt I was there for, is that all I could have ever been, is there?
I tried my hardest, and I understand it’s not my fault, but I have no problem taking the blame, just for you.
It’s not the length that I walked for you, It’s just you let me go miles before telling me goodbye.
I know that I walked the distance, but I never knew, what could have happened if I would have just ran them?
I’m sorry I’m not fast enough to make everything better, just believe in me.
I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to hurt no more.
(Its 5:34 and you’re not here.)
Today I’ve learned something especially from you, that I’m my own worst enemy.
So I’ll turn the infantry against me, and I’ll just let them shoot.
I’ll let the war wear down inside me, but never is the fight over.
The war is just beginning to turn into internal peace.
Within I am learning to be happy, so I can be happy again.

A trickle of rain on a grey wilted sky,
A silver line of light shining oh so gay,
Another dry day,
another hour of pain for I.

A simple gesture in the morning,
a snuggle, a kiss.
Something my heart urns for,
my stomach churns for,
That feeling of being wanted,
not lusted.
Love is discusting.
A filthy trick,
Love is not love without lusting,
and the feeling of anguish will stick.
A day for the lonely wilted heart.