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 Jan 2014 Clowie G
brooke
Feel
 Jan 2014 Clowie G
brooke
I can't remember the last time I touched your face
But I can feel your cheekbones digging into my mind like the feeling of taking a shovel
hollowing out my own grave to lie in
When was the last time I was able to run my fingers through your hair?
Untangling hair is easy, but I haven't yet found anything
to get out the knots in my stomach
If someone asked me what color your eyes were, I couldn't tell them
But I could explain just how it felt when they looked into mine
Like when you look into the sun and are blinded by its immense beauty, so blinded
you can't see the inevitable damage it inflicts upon every pore
Except I haven't yet found anything to protect myself from your stare
What if my skin burns before you can feel it again
And how will you feel if you're too bright that I can't look anymore?
You might begin to miss the fact that nobody can look at you the way I do
before you even realize I can
And I could tell them how you felt when mine looked into yours
despite the fact that you can't
Because you don't know what it's like to feel something other than your own fear
But I'm not afraid of you anymore, I have no fear
I have some hope you can have, it's been growing for quite some time
And I may have some more strength left, although dealing with you feels like
running to a destination that doesn't exist
I'm tired of being selfish and hogging all the feelings
And I think I'll share
with you
 Dec 2013 Clowie G
Mckenzie Ycmat
Since I was young,
I always dreamed of travel
I would fantasize about climbing Mt. Everest
Feeling the stinging cold of the wind hitting my face
I would fantasize about studying with the monks of Thailand
Learning how they spiritually survive
And find peace
Once I was in high school,
I protested to everyone that I needed to get away
I needed distance from my hometown
To get out of the bubble of the religion
That ran the town I grew up in
I felt high school was like being trapped in a cage
Fighting my way towards the light at the end of the tunnel
Like a prisoner, serving a 12 year sentence
Using nothing but a plastic spoon from the cafeteria
Digging myself deeper into a hole
That I knew would lead to freedom
My first year of college wasn’t any better
I learned the hard way that money really is
The only way to survive this world
And boy, it’s not easy to come by.
And no matter how hard I tried,
Something would happen to take it away
Today, I’ve done my own share of travel
I’ve gone from coast to coast of the United States
I’ve gone to California to experience the laid back community
And really become a pro on my surfing slang
I’ve gone to New York City to see how magical the city can really be
But also how easily it can take your spirits away
Today, I’m living back at home
Like I said before, money doesn’t come easy
And I still want to get away, live somewhere else and travel
Put a distance between my family and me
My religion and me
My friends and me
My past and me
But no matter how hard I try to fight it
There really is nothing
Like being back home.
 Dec 2013 Clowie G
C S
Blindness
 Dec 2013 Clowie G
C S
They tell us not to look into the light.
But these are the same people that tell us
Not to worry about politics just yet,
While they pile onto an unbearable debt
That we will have to shoulder when we grow.
They tell us not to be so loud,
While they have stopped making noise
About things that mattered long ago,
Leaving those who can’t speak for themselves
To suffer injustice in silence.
They tell us not to try and change everything,
While the traditions they uphold
Are helping our society crumble.
They tell us not to aim so high,
While they settle for what the world
Has told them they deserve,
Has told them is safe and normal.
So I have something to tell them.
Are they listening? Yes, there you all are.
I dare you to look into the light.
I tell you not to look away as I do everything you’ve told me not to.
If this is breaking the rules, then rules were meant to be broken,
And broken doesn’t mean what I thought it did.
I will look into the light.
I’m not turning a blind eye anymore.
I’m going to seek the light, the truth, the complicated in the world.
Looking into the brightness will not blind me,
But blindly following a lost generation of settling,
Of deafening mediocrity and suffocating quiet,
Of hiding your own brightness
Would do worse than blind me.
It would **** me.
Or worse-
make me just like you.
Maybe if we smile
We can forget for a while
Then our pain will seem no more
And together we can walk to the shore
Because, you see, you were drowning
On the verge of death, willing
To let it all consume you
Yet, love was all you had to do
Do you love me?
Or are you just confused?
For it seems you have forgotten
That I will not be used
We weren't meant to be like this
So alone and broken
If you had let me save you
I wouldn't have spoken
I said hurtful words
You know I didn't mean it
I didn't want you to hurt
But can't you see?
This is killing me
No, I can't breathe
And I won't fall asleep
Because the blame's on me
Maybe if we smile
We can forget for a while
Then our pain will seem no more
And together we can walk to the shore
Because, you see, we were swimming
Trying our best to stay alive
Though I could tell you were willing
To let yourself die...
Do not stand at my grave and weep..
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.
If love is what we're here for,then please dear god give me some more,it's rather nice,I've been there twice but I don't want no more than this,
the kiss that wakes me, as she in beauty takes me and I forsake all of the rest.
The test is always time
I know and she does too ,that what's mine is hers and hers is mine and one more time we kiss before I think we'll kiss some more and then some more again and when the time is due,we'll wander through each others view as if it were our own,build a home,a family,live happily,
I wait to see,
if love is what we're here for.

— The End —