I'll tell you 10 truths
And I'll tell you 10 lies
And leave it to you
1. He slapped me. He slapped me hard. My head snapped back, my sanity jarred
2. I tried it. Don't ask me why. Cutting flesh seemed to make sense. When there's nothing left, demons make an entrance.
3. I went back. I went back to him. And this time, he showed me the ****** sin. **** is scary, rough and overdue. And I counted the times he had said 'I love you.'
4. I tried to go back home. But I found myself wandering the streets alone.
5. This bench I sleep on at night, has leftover blood from last night's fight. Do you want to know who won? Think long and hard. Answers aren't easy and ignorance saves hearts.
6. Some friends. Friendship on the streets is found in cheap drugs and sleezy treats. I finally did it. Accepted the needle. My life spun downwards with a cacophonous teetle.
7. Teetle Tattle tale. So many stories. I swore he was behind me. But only another gory, glorified story from a girl in the past. A girl who watched her sister lose herself in prostitution. When will restitution find 3 girls in an institution?
8. Antibiotics, pain meds and prescription. I try to talk to people, but when I'm talking they won't listen. I'm spit at on the streets, on my ****** bench. I survive however I can, which is taking my meds.
9. I saw my reflection. For the first time today. And I threw up all the pain from yesterday. My days are mixed up. It's a constant state of forever. Forever will change me. Forever and never.
10. I found a phone. Dialed the number I couldn't forget. His voice came on the phone and I sat down and wept. He picked me up. Gave me a shower. Then handed me a joint and punched me until I cowered.
11. Mom, what happened? Where did I go wrong?
12. Wait, rubbing alcohol, will turn this around.
13. I've long since been able to afford actual liquor. So I'll drown my sorrows in buckets of cheap stickers.
14. Labels, tell me. Show me my sweet name of alcohol and sanity, to keep my brain
15. From ever feeling the lies, scourged down my soul. I'll live this life and hate my soul.
16. I watched my brother scream himself to death. When there's that many demons, you scream until ****, overtakes your system and you cry at the mess you've made. Don't judge too harshly, everyone makes mistakes.
17. I hear voices, I see people that aren't there. The one voice I want to hear, is the voice that isn't there. I see white walls, white sheets, white beds. Am I real or did I finally become dead? It's a process, death, it comes in waves, of potentially poisonous sounds and caves.
18. Drunkenness, lies, distorted medication. They handed me prescriptions and my heart melted. Isn't that twisted? Medication has my heart, my sick wounded heart, filled with mistrust in a cart.
19. I see my parents with shining eyes, that shouldn't be shining because they shouldn't be crying. Crying over someone who can't even differentiate between 10 truths and 10 lies that have made her hate.
20. Hatred, lust, envy and disappointment. They destroyed me into a tornado of contortion. Puppet, I am and always will be. Puppet of you, and puppet of me.