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9.2k · Nov 2014
Trump Card
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
His game:
          Is called distortion
     His players:

        He calls kisses

And me:
I’m his Trump Card.
8.4k · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
The mask is coming
      I catch it in my peripheral view through the window
             And grab onto it with both hands
My pale fingertips graze the surface of it's plastic
     And I place it carefully
            On my tattered
                          With vengeance
Squeeze it over the cuts and bruises
       Until more crimson colors my
               White dress
And I take one last inhale of my
And release it to the demons
        Knocking on my door…

2.7k · Dec 2014
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
I'm a diamond dear
forged from the cave of his pleasure
I'm a diamond, love
I've been prodded and measured
Take a hit
I'm cold as stone
You'll break your hand
And still not know

I'm cold as ice
And thick as steel
I don't/can't/won't feel
Every hand you extend
I'll meet with ease
Whatever it takes
To make you pleased
But you'll never break me
So why try?
I may comply
But I'll always lie

I shine like snow
And glitter with pride
I hide inside
What I can't compromise
I want so badly
To break the walls
But even I know
It's a futile brawl

You touch me
And I may shiver at your touch
But you, nor anyone
Will ever be enough

I'm a diamond, dear
Built of pain and disappointments
I'm a diamond, love
I dare you
Make an appointment
1.7k · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
I fill my lungs
Curl back my tongue
Pretend I'm young
Beat the drum
And run
1.6k · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
He pushed me away
To see if I would stay...
1.6k · Apr 2015
You must be so proud..
Cloey Olson Apr 2015
You must feel so proud
Knocking girls to the ground with the clench of your fist
Couldn’t hold it in could you?
Scream in my ear
Until my eardrums bleed your name
Mama’s boy
Turned to the devil
Torture me like you’ve been tortured
My patience never runs dry right?
I’m your river of grace
For you to run dry
Shake me until you get rid of all your lies
Smack me to the ground
Straddle me into compliance
Break me and destroy me
Until you can be free
You must feel so proud
To be the man you are
Beating others up
To avoid your own reflection
Look in the ****** mirror
Face your brutal truth
The only person you’re lying to
Is you
1.1k · Dec 2014
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
We fight
Fight with our words
our touch, our promises, our tears.
We fight with everything we have.
For we know that there is no one without the other.
It's both of us or none of us.
We're a team.
whether we know it or not.
And we will fight.
We'll fight until there's truly nothing left to fight for.
And then we'll part.
with yet another unspoken promise
on our lips that we meant to say.
We'll part with should've's and could've's.
And wish for what we know was inevitable.
The need to keep fighting.
Not against each other
but for each other.
Though we both know it's too late. We've already lost the fight.
We lost the moment her name
Exited your lips
1.1k · Nov 2014
Teeter Tatter
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
Teeter Tatter
Another glass shattered
How much longer can this last?

Tattle Tale
It’s the holy grail
If he won’t stop the crown glass

Teeter Tatter
The powder splatters
Diffused into the dreggy carpet floor

Tattle Tale
The carpet won’t tell
It’s bound to him, it swore

I won’t lie
These shifting tides
Will begin their subordination reign

The scale is shifting
Back and forth
On an underpinning base of pain

I bound from one side
And back to the other
Wishing he’ll materialize into the light

Materials; damaged goods
What goods are in damage
Stuck in the could’s and should’s

Should’ve and could’ve
Two interesting words
When put on the scale to be weighed

Teeter tatter
The scale tipped over
And the could’ves and should’ves are the prey

Could’ve done this
And should’ve done that
1.1k · Jul 2015
While you were cheating...
Cloey Olson Jul 2015
While you lowered yourself onto her bed
I was running outside to pick you sunflowers
While you began to kiss her neck
I was writing you a love letter
While yours and hers breaths began to shorten
I was taking sure, steady footsteps towards your door
While you sank into pure ecstasy
I sank into shattering pain
995 · Jan 2015
Cloey Olson Jan 2015
Love her each and every scar
Trail kisses down her broken heart
Embrace her graceful, flawed soul
She doesn't need to be told again that she's a fool
Give her back her spirit
her fight
Fight for her, when she can't battle the night
Hold her when she's lost her mind
Promise her everything will be alright
And I swear to you
With every day that passes
You'll transform her into
What you knew she was
A princess
903 · May 2015
I wasn't
Cloey Olson May 2015
Someday, I’ll see you and I won’t even flinch
The bruises will fade, and your clenched fist will ease
Someday, I’ll look at you and see just a boy
Not a man replaced by a demon, guns strapped to his back
I wasn’t a soldier
I wasn’t bloodied or combative
I was a nurse aid, your companion
But all you saw was someone to destroy
873 · Dec 2014
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
People asked me
Who he was and I always replied
He’s a trickster
At first I meant it kindly
He was tricky in his crooked smile
And tricky in his humor
“He’s funny,” I’d say
“Tricky” with a smile

But trickster has a
Whole new meaning
When it’s tricky with lies
When ‘I love you’
Becomes ‘You disgust me’
And ‘You’re my best friend’
Becomes ‘I hope you cry’

Trickster, I didn’t see
That every word you spoke to me
Was a lie in the best disguise
An alternate plan to revise
You shoud’ve striked my face
Should’ve made a physical mark
Because I feel you on every inch of me
Every word you scarred into my heart

Trickster, I thought I knew you
Trickster, what a game
Trickster, I know now
Not to take lightly, someone’s name
864 · Nov 2014
But I Said No
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
But I said no
It got caught in my throat
I held on with a stranglehold
And then let it go

But I said no
Why didn't it work like it should?
Shaking and flaking
With gentle whisps of snow

But I said no
And he became deaf
Wind became torrential
As he moved below

But I said no
Strangled and silenced
Words are diamonds
In a world of coal

But I said no*
I offered my best
And he drove into me
And came out with my chest
But I
But I said
But I said no
837 · Nov 2014
Snow vs. Fire
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
Snow danced with fire
                In a pleasurable rumble
      Tears began to sprint
And icicles take a tumble
      Did you feel the coal
                Or did it spin into madness?
                       I thought I saw your soul
                               But apparently that was practice

I watched snow dance with fire
                 Out my bedroom window
       And my eyes were drawn to the speck
Of a dying black widow
        A fleck of red on black
                About to be consumed
                      The contrasting white and orange
                            Made haste in pursuit

War on myself*
               Colors are blinding
        Spinning into madness
Perfectly aligning
         My eyes are drawn to you
                   My black widow in disguise
                          I’ll dance with your fire
           If you’ll melt my snowy ice
803 · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
What is crazy?
What is horrific insanity
In the face of undeniable serenity?
I thought I had found an escape
Some way to outlast the frayed tape
Escape. Run. Flee.
In a chorus of distortion
Have more proportion
Than this game of such extortion.
Puppeteer and craftman
Come, tell me which it is
We'll travel the road together
If you answer me this
What is crazy
Cloey Olson Aug 2015
My heart quivers for you
If you think he's your prince,
I beg you to listen
He's not.

He'll bring you flowers
Surprise you at work
Write you poetry
You'll be on cloud 9.
He'll stuff you with promises
Confess boldly his love
You'll be saturated

In lies.
They're lies.
Please listen.
You'll wake up one day,
Physically and emotionally
Because his 'princess' became his 'stupid hor' from his lips and his fist
He will break you.

He will make you and then he will break you.
Shatter that tiara to pieces.
He does not love you.
It is not love.

And I shake for you.
You are far too precious for his greedy hands.
Please hear me say to you in a voice I wish I had found when I was you

Run, darling... Run, run, run.
Don't look back and run.'
The Walmart girl
788 · Nov 2014
And I Found
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
I learned how to love
And you'd never believe
But it was actually you
Who taught me
Every time you hit me
Spit venom in my face
I learned to find forgiveness
How to chase down grace
I ran and I ran
Until I found beautiful patience
Stunning peace
No longer a patient
Every word you spoke against me
Built a castle in my soul
I carved each brick with pain
And the more I mulled
I realized it wasn't the answer
Pain turned to love
And for you, I am thankful
For I am finally enough
778 · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
I'd die every day
If it would
Make you stay.
769 · Oct 2018
Cloey Olson Oct 2018
you don't know beautiful until you know him
767 · Dec 2014
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
The words are a floodgate
Held back by a string
756 · Jan 2017
e r a d i c a t e
Cloey Olson Jan 2017
It's as if I want it to end badly.*
I have to stop myself from smiling at tragedy unfolding.
I'm an artist.
We artists yearn to feel.
We crave heartbreak.
That moment of feeling your heart eradicate.
We clutch at our chest and scream into our pillows,
grasp our ribs, begging them not to fall apart.
And slowly,
with shaking fingertips,
We find a pen
We find a canvas
We find a guitar
We find our voice
Our medium
And we cry
We express this beautiful decimation
And people applaud what they are entirely unable to do;
to voice the chaos of pain
What does it look like?
What does it sound like?
What notes does the clenching grip of death choose?
What shade of red was it when he cheated?
That painful twinge of minor 7 chords.
The despair has a soul.
We can feel it now,
touch it,
taste it,
hear it,
see it.
We awaken the senses to the most numbing experiences humans have
We open ourselves up,
and the world feels.
700 · Aug 2015
Cloey Olson Aug 2015
You're my angel in the quiet
When it's silent
But I hear your voice for miles
Every smile
Touches mine
In a firework of daisies
What made me
Fall for you like a lazy
Cool summer night
And you're the stars that shine the brightest.
Yes, you, you are the one
My sun
And my lover
I swear there's no other
Your fingerprints are my compass
Your heart is my moon
You're the tune
I want stuck
On repeat.
685 · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
Spiral bound
Parchment in pieces
My hands shake
As I write this broken lease
Tears shatter my cheek
In waves of forever
This lease is proof
Of your dismantled 'whatever'
        It was never whatever for me
        Surely you knew
        A  promise for me
        Was a third grade joke
        For you
The paper sits still
As my world crashes down
Your signature marks the place
Where my heart will forever be found
         Sign my heart away
         Tattoo it into stone
         My name I sign below yours
         Protests to atone
Anything for you,
Forever and always
Paper, my rock
Will for you, be the fortress.
667 · May 2016
O n l y Y o u
Cloey Olson May 2016
My love…
My precious darling.
Come back. Please.  
My knees are still ******, my heart still a mess. Muddy swirls of clenching, burning press.
Press into me. I feel your weight from across the globe.  
Lift up my head. I won’t feel your blows. I’ll feel your warmth, your sickness will dissolve into peace. The clouds of mercy will sweep us both off our feet. I love you still. Surely you know. That my heart is still buried in your precious snow.  You, not him. Never him, only you. It’s you that made my heart skip, made me dance in the rain.  Only you could give me the deepest, wrenching pain. Pain that people **** for because they’ve never loved like that.  You, with the bowties and the warmth and the sun. You were my sunshine. My lover.  My stars. My universe. It was you. Only you.  Never a competition.  You set perfection. You wore my complexion. No substitution. Just you.  
If anything, I would want you to know that it was you, only you. Always you. Even now. When you’re taken and in love with someone else who makes you smile. Still now, know...
It was you, always you, only you.
666 · Jan 2015
Cloey Olson Jan 2015
I cut today
I hope that makes you smile
I hope the words you threw at me
Go back down your throat in bile
You bruised me on the outside
Every word slashed a little deeper
So why not make a scar
For every time you called me ‘keeper’
I’ll destroy myself
If it makes you feel better
I’d do anything for you
Except watch your life stutter
Stutter out of control
And I tried so hard to fix it
But you tore down the only one
That gave you back your spirit
Heart and soul
I bound to you
Love you until you mend
I swore to you
And I swear still
You are my beginning, middle and end
660 · Jan 2017
b e g
Cloey Olson Jan 2017
..begging to be loved
yet destroying anyone that does..
658 · Jul 2015
Cloey Olson Jul 2015
My dreams taste like you.
Sawdust and Rust.
Running. Caged.
Splintered, ****** passion.
Conviction for what I’d always known.

It isn’t you.
It can’t be you.
And I wanted it.
I wanted it to be you so bad.
649 · Jan 2017
Cloey Olson Jan 2017
i miss him in waves.
typhoons one minute,
tide pools the next
but always, there
never quite making it to shore
drifting in him,
day after day..
632 · May 2016
C a n Y o u H e a r I t
Cloey Olson May 2016
Did you hit her too?
Throw her stuff all around the room
Break her little soul
Split it right in two
Hate her so you wouldn't have to hate you too

Will she be enough?
For your lustful hands, not happy till you see her blood
How long before you break, can she run fast enough?
Please, God, let her run fast enough

Will she end like me?
Grasping for the little girl she used to be
Hating herself cuz even now she can't be free
She's locked in your maze of lies, it takes a lifetime to see

You just don't know what you do
We tried so hard to love you
And when you take, you take it all
We try to love but you hate us all
Every spark of good, you take it down
You shout and we all bow down

Will we all break through
This house of glass you told us we could never do
We lost our heart but don't you dare take our voice too
Make us cower, but still it's you who lose

Cause' you have sprung up a choir
Can you hear us singing, we're on fire
We're shouting grace over all your lies
Love shatters all; even leads us to goodbye.

Held us hostage, but it's goodbye
Made us Captives, but it's goodbye,
Can you hear it, can you hear it
You have sprung up a choir
Song lyrics...
632 · Dec 2014
Long ago
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
I saw you in the reflection
Of a dream long ago
Where somehow you loved me
But it was all long ago
I saw you in the mirror
But it happened so long ago
You wrapped your arms around me
From behind, and whispered, "Long ago"
"The most beautiful ******* Earth
Somehow tiptoed into my arms"
Long ago,
The world shattered into shards of
brilliant breaths of life
I giggle long ago,
It seems so very long ago
And I touch the mirror quietly
Long ago
is just a dream
620 · Jun 2017
p r e c i o u s
Cloey Olson Jun 2017
So few and precious things on Earth feel real and he’s one of them
608 · Dec 2015
f a l l a c i e s
Cloey Olson Dec 2015
Black walls cover my eyelids anyways, so let’s put me in a room.
Cover the walls in sunflowers so they can scream all the fallacies you scraped into my skin.  
White dresses for this occasion so we can splatter them in blood. Nothing yells louder than lies.
You shout.
You’re the type of crazy that bleeds out.
It’s infectious.
Viruses don’t understand what you do.
The Black Plague is your best friend.
You start in the brain,
save the heart for last.
Lead them down the cave of desire,
taint yourself with blood.
Tell yourself they’re worth it. They’re worth everything. And no one takes you at your word.
When you say you take everything, you mean it.
You mean it.
You don’t break hearts, you destroy souls.
Start slicing at one end and shred across the top.  
Inject it with ******.
Get them hooked.
I’ll be locked onto you and you alone.

Just what you want.
Forever. Forever haunts me.
579 · Dec 2015
S m o k e
Cloey Olson Dec 2015
Smoky eyes
Wispy flakes beneath your tongue
'Come taste' you breathe
My ear tickles at the
smoky eyes
Smoky eyes
They tingle and they shout
Unfurl your smoke
I'll drown in the clouds
'Take me with you' I breathe
On the rush of the exhales
Smoky eyes
Daring me to jump off that cliff
'Give it up, let it go'
But do I dare believe his
Smoky eyes
They hush me
And dance me
And plunge me
To smoke,
Full haziness
Exhilaration and rush
Smoky eyes
Smoky eyes
So that's what I'd been looking for
When I'd been crawling in the dust
And the dirt and the stains
No the smoke is what hushes me
The smoky eyes
Are my sanctity
558 · Mar 2015
Cloey Olson Mar 2015
Some people just stick
And you don't know why
And you may have just met them once
Or talked for 5 minutes in the grocery line
Or maybe saw them in class for 2 months
And then one day
You have one conversation
And ****.
You know that person is gonna stick
You know in 2 years
You'll be dumped by your boyfriend
And you're going to think of them
That one stranger you somehow
Feel more connected to
Than your closest friends
And they stick
They just stick with you
It's the soul mate
That you know can never be
The most painful revelation
Of duct tape people
That only leave the sticky
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
What would the wind say?
When the Earth came to a stop
One word from my mouth
Red and blue lights. Cops.

The wind drove them towards us
When the Earth came to a stop
When you shoved me into the concrete
And my blood ran red like chalk

The first thing I felt
When the Earth came to a stop
Was the cool, pleasant wind
Over my head, just at the top

My head was a mop
When the Earth came to a stop
My eyes swollen shut
My ears picking up rust

Leftover from the neighbors car
When the Earth came to a stop
And the distant sounds of cops began
To ring and disembark

Disattached and surreal
When the Earth came to a stop
I could see the fear in your eyes
When you realized you should've stopped

I thanked the wind that day
When the Earth came to a stop
When it was the only kindness
I had felt in months and months

I felt it tassel my hair
When the Earth came to a stop
And as the cops rounded the corner
I looked up at you in shock

Because when the Earth came to a stop
I didn't hate you or want revenge
The wind took my bitterness away
My true abuser was finally at an end
550 · Sep 2014
Cloey Olson Sep 2014
Death tastes like copper
Smells like winter
Feels like snowfall
Looks like Autumn
Sounds like true, pure silence
Death is snow
The peaceful hush
As you inhale frigid air
Into your lungs
Look at white perfection scaling
Each individual branch
Bathed in a pure white transcendent glow
Death is utter hostility
Matched with total
All-consuming tranquility
538 · Dec 2014
The Best of Me
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
The best of me is still your sound coming out
The needle hits the record
With the tiniest twinge of pain
Then it's stunning, beautiful
It's the sound of rain
When my life was enveloped by the longest drought
And all I want to do is to kneel down and count
All the cracks you filled in
Both in the ground and on my record
And somehow caused a melody
To shatter through in droplets
In couplets and sonnets
You're still scratching into me
Somehow the needle is still tracing
Out your gorgeous melody
And forever and always
You are the best of me
537 · Nov 2014
Cloey Olson Nov 2014
528 · Feb 2015
Cloey Olson Feb 2015
Tears dry in a cake-like icing I licked off of you just last night. Time is fleeting. Moist and crusty in a terrifying tumble. I’ll stare at the ridges of this painfully white wall and crust you off of me, flake by flake, moist tear by moist tear, you’ll sink into these black sheets and float onto these whitewashed walls
521 · Sep 2014
Cloey Olson Sep 2014
I’ll practice my scream for you
Send my vocal cords
Into complete disarray with hoarseness
Until it’s good enough for you
You’ll touch me and I’ll whimper
You’ll slap me and I’ll cry
Then you’ll punch me and I’ll yell
Then you’ll puncture me and I’ll scream
I’ll scream with the practice of a thousand hours
Where every unspeakable act occurred
And I’ll place my voice in a capsule
And sell it to you for 5 cents
Spend it wisely
517 · Dec 2014
It's all wrong
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
I expected the pain
The nightmares and the hollowness
The numbing, the crumbling
The torture of lonliness
But fear.
That took me surprise
Loud noises now startle me
I can't stop looking for your eyes
I'm so lost in my brokenness
At the thought of you gone
That normal noises of the world
Now sound distorted. Wrong.
Wrong, it's so wrong
Without you here
Please come back
I love you, dear...
512 · Dec 2014
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
You're vicious in your spatted  poison
Hoisting your bitter contracts
Into the face of broken attacks
Love is a foul word for you
In the gravesight of disappointments
And my words don't make a dent
In your cavern of molding 'hope' coins
I deposited everything I had
But they sit there melting away
I thought perhaps I could help
But only you
Can make love stay
503 · Apr 2015
Cloey Olson Apr 2015
I thought I could give it to him.
I thought I could somehow transfer my joy to his clenched fists.
I thought I could sneak peace through the crevices of his crossed arms and steel face.  
When he hit me, I tried to let my fragile bruises touch his soul.
I tried to let my tears be the elixir to his life.
I tried to hold him when he was shaking. I tried to listen when he was screaming.
I wanted his fists to open so I could fill them with tenderness.
But his fist opened with a backhand slap.
And even the slaps I tried to caress for him to see someone cares. Someone loves.
I loved you, you *******.
I loved you so hard.
I ripped my own chest out with hopes somehow the blood would seep into your broken tears.
I tore out my own eyes with hopes somehow my blindness could lead to your sight.
I broke so you could live.
Died so you could try.
Lived in panic so you could live in peace.
Is it enough?
I thought I could do it.
I thought I could do it.
495 · Dec 2014
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
One step is terrifying into gentle, transcendent snow
Two steps and I'm dancing to the beat of existential flow
Three steps, I didn't know life could be so diverting
Four steps, I'm dazzled by the tangibility of floating
Five steps, plunging into Earth's secret enchantment
Six steps, laughing upwards in a canopy of flurry
Seven steps, it's okay to be awed by radiant atrophy
Eight steps, I'm torn from vacillation and doubt
Nine steps, crystal pixies begin their whiteout
Ten steps, I've made it. No more qualms in sight.
I breathe in the calamity and breathe out pure light.
492 · Dec 2015
D o n e
Cloey Olson Dec 2015
The words fell from his lips
Slipped so delicately off his tongue

'What?' I asked
The words fell once again
I watched them fall
Succession of pain about to hit the crook of my neck
'What..?' I whispered
They hit the ground with an explosion
And the shrapnel dug into my skin with an iron grip.
Clench, pull, dig, mold.
Mold into my skin those words did.
Explosion of words into the pit of my stomach,
Releasing thousands of spiders to scurry their way through my arteries
'...just not working..' He mumbles
'..we can be friends..'
'..what?' I say stupidly once more
I'm gonna puke.
Throw those words back up until he vows to take them back.
It was a joke.
A terrible one, but he never was the funny one.
But he was my one.
Not my one.
Not my funny one.
No one.
No one in a second.
No one in three seconds
1. I watch his mouth open
2. The words tumble down
3. Shattered explosion of pain
All over.
482 · Dec 2014
What I Meant to Say
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
What I meant to say was
I wanted you to stay
Enough of being lonely
Just you and me
Because of you,
Every day is a dream
You, dear are my dream

What I meant to say was
I don't want you to leave
You're my beginning and end
There's no me without you
Or you without me

What I meant to say
Didn't come out how it should
It got distorted, misinterpreted
Chopped and made up

Or at least all this
Is what I'd hoped you'd say
Because you couldn't have really meant it
When you left without a trace
476 · Nov 2015
Little Heart
Cloey Olson Nov 2015
Little heart stay open
Don’t shut down with hate
Little heart be strong
Don’t give in to rage
Little heart
Let your wings
Carry you to forgiveness and truth
Let each feather be your testimony
Of pain turned to grace
Little heart
Do what’s harder
It’s easier to hate
Fight for your right
To return hate with grace
Little heart
Stay vulnerable
Little heart
Stay strong
Don’t barricade yourself with shields
Barricade yourself with flowers
With daisies and a rose
Turn hatred to a smile
With every one of those blows
Little heart
I believe in you
Little heart
Take my hand
Little heart
We’ll show everyone
What love can transcend
465 · Dec 2014
I H a t e
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
I hate that I love you
I can't stand my adoration
I hate that when you kiss me
I'm lost in masochistic addiction
Your touch is my ******
Your eyes are my torch
Everything is dark
Until you fire it with scorch
Scorching desire
That burns me every time
I touch you and it scars
I wait for the next chime
Set my timer for the broken heart
It goes off with a ding
And the fire that fueled me
Now fuels my deathening
Deathening voice
Coming over the phone
"I found someone else"
And once again I'm alone
I hate that I love you
I hate this fire
I'll burn it down
With flames of desire
464 · Dec 2014
Don't Choose Her
Cloey Olson Dec 2014
Don't choose her
"She'll never love you like I will"
Those are the words I want to say
But I know they're not true
She'll probably be prettier
Make you laugh more than I can
Touch you, give you shivers
Stop time in the hourglass
Lay in the sand
Skin to skin
And I know I should want you
To go with her
Because letting you go
I should do first
But instead I say
"Don't choose her"
I'm selfish
And jealous
And I'm going to selfishly
And jealously say
"She'll never love you like I will"
And maybe my words
will make you stay
463 · Nov 2015
b r e a k
Cloey Olson Nov 2015
We’ll call your last name abuse.
Tack it onto the end with the ink splash of a dot.
Does it feel good to see it there?  Jason Abuser.  
Abuse is your genes, your attention span falters just slow enough for me to see it.
The hurt hiding behind your insanity.  I see it. I see it. And that’s how you stole me.
Kidnapped my capacity to move.
Pain pulls the rug beneath the feet.
A sly blow to the back of my knees.  
Not my pain, never my pain. My pain would never be enough to make me stay; no, your pain darling. Your pain is what shatters me.
Those glimpses of a tortured past the moments before you’d hit me.  That’s what I saw.  
That was the cemented concrete you poured over my feet before you’d kick me to the floor.
I saw it.
I saw it through the blood. The way you’d cower from yourself first, before making me cower.  You hated yourself and that made me break. Break for your hate.
No, you’re too beautiful for this distorted world.
You’re precious my Mr. Cirkovic.  My darling, it’s okay.  Keep cementing me into the ground. Blow by blow, I’ll show you love.
I’ll bring you love in buckets of bruises.  I’ll adore you to heaven. Fall slowly into insanity so you can fall quickly into peace.  I love you. I’ll show you.  I’ll show you. You’ll see.
I’ll make the way for the next girl.  She’ll see who you are and see the beauty I know was always there.  I’ll be slashed and bruised and she’ll get your kisses and gentleness.  
And I’ll cry for what she didn’t have to know.
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