I lay there in bed just waiting for me to stop lying to myself
It is only in dreams where I show who I truly am.
That wonderful place where I do as I please
Where I can have the guts to call her a *****
Where I beg for your hands on my skin
Where I tell you want I long for instead of writing you this pointless poems.

Laying there, as I try to convince myself to move on
It is only in dreams where say I want to be with you forever.
That wonderful place where I can be with you
Where there is no distance between us
Where there are no tears in your eyes
Where I can rest my head on your chest

I do not want to die
I desire for my feeling to come my new reality
Where I can tell you want I long for…
Where you are mine and I am yours
Where I can be myself again

Moving slowly down my torso with such passion and gentleness
Allowing me to crave for this new sensation.
Causing me to cry out your name
As my breaths get shorter and my heart beats faster.
Asking for your love
Nevertheless, could I ever ask for too much?

In Does days, there was especial boy…
Oh, I give him all of my heart.
I dreamed and hoped of wonderful things.
Next thing I knew, I was by his side holding his hand
But what I didn’t know…
He could just push me aside

The shadows start creeping up as I enter this hall
But I will not accept for me to sit and stall.  
As I keep walking, they be come clear
Getting closer whispering “come here.”
I shake them off but they are to strong
They carry me away as they sing a song

A melody that must be heard
So smooth and gentle like a flying bird
Yet, it manages to fill you up with sorrow
Making every nerve and bone feel hallow
So clear and sharp it pierces trough your soul
But I need to ignore this and keep my goal

I move forward as I feel my flesh being torn
No matter how hard I try I can feel their scorn.
I make the effort to recall they are just shadows…
But they have hands and voices that speak of sorrows
A pain greater than flesh could ever know or endure

My soul starts to brake down as tears fall
Making my heart ache with pain…the pain this shadows feel
They starve for hope and dreams.
Taking everything I ever knew leaving my just an empty corps
…becoming a shadow

All I can do is sit here and complain to my self
Letting the anxiety build up as the children cry
My mom not giving to **** about anything any more
Every one blaming me
And I guess they are right
It’s all because of me.

I try not to cry as they tell me how I don’t do **** around the house
Even though my hands are dry from washing all the dishes
And my back aches from caring my little sister till she falls asleep
But I am still “heartless and would let every one die”
Or at lest that what my father says  

All I can do is sit here and let them abuse me
Because if I speak up I would be a bad daughter
So I sit and wait for the day that I can stand be brave…..