I love you
I hate you
You are my muse
I love you
I hate you
You are my muse
Nothing I say
Is any new news
I'm intimidating to you
You have to run
I'm too weak for you
You are no fun
I'm too independant
You can't be vulnerable
I'm too codependent
You've got to block and go
I'm too perfect
You can't accept
I'm too wrong
You can't forget

Showering me with attention
Interacting every day
And the moment I took notice of you
You were over me
And you went away
Stifled before the start
Twisted our callous hearts
I only want you
I'd rather be alone
Then wait for nothing
On my phone

I want to feel you
I want to touch you
I want to kiss you
I want to hold you
I want to look in your eyes
And I won't

From the moment
My husband hung
From his noose
It was apparent
I
Will never be loved
I
Will never remarry
I
Will always
Just be me, alone
Worthy of love
But unable to obtain it
Why do I love you now
Another unobtainable
Shattered dream
Why
No reason
I just can't have it

On my mother's side
It's my purpose to hide
It's my purpose to give
So long as I never live
It's my purpose to allow
You to take it all
It is written before I was born
My destiny that I should be torn
To bits and pieces for my sins
For ever trying to win
For any talent I have
You know they all are bad
Cut me down from every angle
Every personal thought entangle
In your web of lies and deceit
Begging to steal the shoes from my feet
Begging me to never succeed
Begging me to be in need
Wishing you had me in a sling
You stole my ******* engagement ring

If it's more then energy
If it's thought too
But you still won't call
Yet believe like I do
Just send the ring
With your broken promises, too
And I'll still have broken
All my rules for you

In late December
That is when I will contact you again
To let you know where I'll be
So if you are still in Hawaii
And you are still single
By that time
Come see me
The worse that could happen
Is you spend some time
With a pretty girl
Likely just surfing
And if you aren't interested
We go our separate ways again
Take a chance on me
If you haven't called
Or zoomed
Or some other form of communication
By then

Past the curtains of my guilt and shame
Past the shooting starlight of the twin flame
Past your higher self in all its good
Stands the physical you
Cruelty embodied in every word
You actually said to me

All you see
Is a red flag

Stars fall from the sky
Through my pen
And on to the page
For you

I long to look
Into your beautiful f'ing eyes
Like staring into the earth
And the sun
Simultaneously
I long to run
My fingers through your hair
Is it soft
Or wirey
I long to trace
Your jawline with my fingers
Already memorized every feature
You're beautiful
How lucky you are
Not to be chained to me
As I am to you
But then again
If you were
My dreams would come true

why all the
Twin flame *****
Just for you to hate me
Just to continue
Being myself
Alone
I didn't need it
I didn't need you
I could have healed myself
Now I love you
And it won't go away
I wish it would
Because I've given up
On you loving me

Why have you captured my heart
To not want it
And how did you do it
When most fail
I'll do better
Please reciprocate
You never gave me a chance
Before I entered your sphere of hate
Is my bad side really that bad
Comparably
No, it isn't.
But you were never here to be gone
So I'll just be me doing me
A queen

You were worth a try
And you were worth pushing away
When you refused to reciprocate
Otherwise I'd of spent all my days
In your shadow waiting
Still six months later I love you
And ask myself
Whats the difference
I could have spent time in your shade
But my time is mine, loves renegade

You manifested me
But then you cast away your manifestation
I know because
When I met you
I changed

Your value is in who you are
Your value is in who you try to be
Your value is in the actions you take
Not in the money you make
Or the muscles on your body
Not in the number of followers you have
Your value is in your soul
Glistening in the sun greater
Than gold or precious gemstones
Your value radiates from you
To inspire all of those you touch
All of those whom path you cross
Most of all mine
I love you
I see you
I see all that you are
The dark and the light
The secrets you hide from yourself and the world
And the abundance and important messages you distribute
For everyone's greater good
For everyone's growth and healing
Your value is so much deeper and
So much more expansive
Than the industry could ever impose

Because the last words you ever said to me meant
Your Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Rokfin, interviews, articles, and images
Are not mine
They are not mine to view
Not mine to watch
Not mine to hear
Not mine to read
They are only mine to let go of
Without looking
Without knowing
And move on

I can't bring you joy
I can't make you happy
I am a burden
My love isn't ever
Something someone wants
I only wanted to be
Someone positive in
Your life
But I failed
So goodbye

I am starting to understand
Why I love you so deeply
I'm starting to gain clarity
Why this isn't going to work
Why you can't meet my needs
As a phantom of the parenting
I never received
As a mirror of the disconnect
I always seek
So that I can run quickly
When you're close to me
I am seeing the pattern
Run before they can hurt you
Choose the ones that never stay
So I can stray
So I can splay
My love against my own walls
Built up in circles around me
So I don't get trapped
In the corner
Free and rushing to stay free
And I see how you
Don't work for me
But I still love you deeply
Every word I spoke to you truth
Stay far away from me
Let me love you from a distance
Let me wait until another lifetime
But you're different
Because you don't escape my mind
You're just like all the rest
Selectively choosen to test
My resolve to keep my alonesss
But the difference
Between you and them is
I really want this
I'm working hard for it now
To change my pattern
Not for you, the one I love
But for the next one I will love
Who will not fit the pattern
Because you were specifically selected
One who will not be returning
I can't expect a different answer
From a formula I planned so well

Forget what I see in you
What do I see in me
Someone who refuses to commit
Because it always ends
In tragic heartbreak
Someone completely worthy
Of a dedicated two way love
That can't find it
And wants to give up trying
Wants to let love go
And never bother with it again
A sensitive heart made for someone
Who has the strength to put the effort in
Without throwing in the towel
On the work it takes
To make a relationship work
To turn to her for support and companionship
With an open heart and mind
And to keep themselves
Their independence
A woman who wants a man who won't lose himself
Relying on her for his happiness
Because we all create our own happiness
And I create mine alone

I am finally angry with you
I talked to a lawyer
I showed him some of the communications
Including all my emails
He said since I only contacted
By email and Instagram
And never threatened you
Or even called you names
And because there is video evidence
Lining up with your indirect responses
To my messages
Gaslighting me
And communicating with me
In every stream I attended
Not to mention
If I am such a threat to you
Why did you book a show
In my city
Near my house
You don't have a case
And if you threaten me again
Or take action
I will sue you
You were right to run
Because you aren't man enough for me
Or you'd of told me you weren't interested
Early on instead of
Waiting until things escalated
And gaslighting me on your stream
You have anger issues
I'm grateful you rejected me
I dodged a bullet
I'm working on my attachment style
And the man I seek
Who is seeking me
Will thank you
For teaching me where I need work
And not tying me down
So he can love me
The way you never could
You should also work on your attachment style
Or all you will ever have
Is the drama you repeat
You don't know me
And you never will
You were wrong about me
And I nolonger apologize
And I won't accept yours
F twin flames
Don't give a s about that connection
Rather marry happily
To someone who will value me
Sorry I loved you
You're right that was a mistake
This fantasy is dead

My mornings are peaceful
Present
And then I feel you wake up
The shift

I threaten to leave
You show up next to me
I promise to stay
You beg I go away

When it's the one
So why not me
Because you are the one
You're the mirror image
Of me
Being in your presence is
Coming home
So please
Be in my presence
Let me be
The same for you
That you are for me
The catalyst
Of bliss

Are the ones that got away
I got away because I refuse to play The Dating Game
And you got away because when you felt this attraction and I felt it back
You immediately shut it down before it could even start
You immediately denied our potential
And I in turn sabotaged our potential
Both drowning in our own fear
We are the ones that got away
And we will never know it, dear

I try to hate you
But I love you
I try to tell myself
You're not my twin flame
But you visit me
In the 5D
Albeit less frequently
I try to move on
But your pull is strong
Even though you don't want me
I try to forget
Let go of regret
Still you haunt me
Like your soul is mine
Energetically entwined
Chakra blending
But what do you feel
I bet nothing
For you no strings

I got up and started watering the front plants
I got up and started sorting and clearing
I got up and felt the love in my dance
Then I came to understand
It was love for her in your earrings

You were just a catalyst
That I could not resist
But your not the voice
Of my final choice
Get over yourself
It's me and no one else
Cuz that's a twin flame
Nothing left to explain

Everything it was
Or wasn't
Felt like bliss
I've learned my lesson
I know I can't tell you how I feel
But somehow
I hope you know

To be my girlfriend you have to do this
And to be my girlfriend you have to do that
To be my girlfriend you have to be this
And to be my girlfriend you have to be that
To be my girlfriend you have to say this
And to be my girlfriend you have to say that
**** it bruh
You have too many hoops
And I am not a trapeze artist

I was at the women's march
You were at the women's march

Not more then 20 feet in front of me
Walking in a straight line
Horizontal to the line I stood upon
Was she with you too
Are you that ****** daring
Because I may write her
Before I visit the police
I told you if I saw you here
I'd go to the police
I've seen you thrice

But I harassed you, too
In vengeance
In revenge
In a futile uprising of strength
That fizzled out into
Your next fix
So there it is:
I will see you soon

I was stalked at the women's march
Is that Irony?