I am starting to understand
Why I love you so deeply
I'm starting to gain clarity
Why this isn't going to work
Why you can't meet my needs
As a phantom of the parenting
I never received
As a mirror of the disconnect
I always seek
So that I can run quickly
When you're close to me
I am seeing the pattern
Run before they can hurt you
Choose the ones that never stay
So I can stray
So I can splay
My love against my own walls
Built up in circles around me
So I don't get trapped
In the corner
Free and rushing to stay free
And I see how you
Don't work for me
But I still love you deeply
Every word I spoke to you truth
Stay far away from me
Let me love you from a distance
Let me wait until another lifetime
But you're different
Because you don't escape my mind
You're just like all the rest
Selectively choosen to test
My resolve to keep my alonesss
But the difference
Between you and them is
I really want this
I'm working hard for it now
To change my pattern
Not for you, the one I love
But for the next one I will love
Who will not fit the pattern
Because you were specifically selected
One who will not be returning
I can't expect a different answer
From a formula I planned so well

The sun rose red and then orange
The temperature stayed low
Lower then it has been
Will it still cross 100 degrees?
Smoke hazed the air brown
The dry red dust joined the ash
Dancing and twirling on the low winds
In twisters broken by the road cut
Underground rodents in burrows
Rushed through the maze
Flighting for their lives
As water trucks spread droplets
That quickly evaporate
We are not sustainable

"My beautiful wife
Hold me for the rest of my life
You were never my burden
You were always my songbird"

I can't do it
I can't stay angry
I can't hold to
The name calling
You're such a ****
I swear I believe that
Please trust me
When I say it
Don't think for one second
That I am all forgiving
That you can do no wrong
Just because
You shine like no other
You shine like me
Partition up
Just a curtain
A heavy curtain
I see the shapes
On the other side
I am angry now
I swear it
Don't believe otherwise
There is no love
In that which lies
A cold tattered wretch
On the cold wooden stage
Who plays that part
Not you nor I
We are the light
And we shine
Through love, bright
But I swear
I've convinced myself
That you are a ****

The sun rises on me
Whether I'm at the sea
Or somewhere else
Where I feel free
Just let me be

The sun sets alone on me
On the beach
Or in the rocks
Anywhere I place my feet
One at peace
One released
Anywhere I want to be

You were special to me
Now you are especially
Removed from my life
Not because you demanded it
But because I tired of ways
You insistently brought strife
I turned it around to peace
Communication and appreciation
Spreading light around in spite