Untethered

Today I don’t feel like talking
Go away and leave me alone
Don’t even think about calling me
I will refuse to answer the phone

Please don’t make any demands
I find it so hard to say no
It breaks me up if I can’t please
I need the approval to show

People can be so exhausting
Their clamouring I can’t bear
They drain my social battery
And I have no energy to spare

My front door is locked and bolted
The rest of the world can’t get in
I can’t deal with all of the chaos
It puts my head into a spin

No one to question my actions
No one to give unwanted advice
A wall to keep out all emotion
Why would I even think twice

In this agony of silence
I have lost the power of speech
Disconnected from humanity
All help is beyond my reach

I am lost inside my own mind
My only guide is my self doubt
This maze has become my prison
The exit is not my way out

Untethered from your reality
Now I am drowning not waving
Voices screaming inside my head
They tell me I’m not worth saving

And yet deep down in my core
Hides a desperate need to survive
If only I had some strength left
Maybe I’d fight to stay alive

Glimmers - those tiny moments in each day that bring joy, peace, happiness or gratitude.
Moments frozen in time and space that sometimes seem to last forever but are less than a heartbeat.
The first conscious breath in the morning, filling my lungs and being thankful for the life I live.
The joyful glimpse of sunlight on the curtains promising a beautiful day.
The smell of my morning cup of coffee anticipating with a smile the first luxurious sip as I snuggle back under the duvet for a while feeling at peace.
The crunch of buttery toast salty and warm exciting the taste buds.
The sound of the sea as the waves ebb and flow across the sand of the beach.
The bubbling of the brook across the pebbles under the bridge as I stand admiring the beauty of the land.
The soft tapping of rain on the window soothing it calms my racing brain.
The laughter of my grandchildren; their presence a reminder of when my own children were small but life was too hurried to appreciate their innocence and growing. A love revisited and felt all over again.
The first brush stroke on the canvas a new painting begun an expression of colour and light unfurling.
The first word of a poem on the page a signal to the subconscious; I don’t know where this journey will end.
A liquid gold sunset fading into peach and lilac across the hills.
The glimmers : the unexplained small miracles; the moments of magic that leave me feeling at one with my world.

The rainbow that sweeps across my sky
Piercing the swirls of luminous grey cloud
The coloured arc that shines radiantly
Through the droplets of falling rain
The calm that seeps in after the tempest
Spreading a sense of peace and serenity
That’s because of you my haven and my harbour
My place of safety from life’s storms

When the flames of my anger
Grow hot and burn fiery red
Your cool breath on my heart
Steadies the raging beat

Juicy oranges you bring me
Fresh and sweetly tasting
Loaded with vitamin C
To help keep me healthy

Warm and softly golden yellow
You are my daily dose of sunshine
Protecting me from the cold
Ensuring I am wrapped in love

My green green grass of home
My place of ease and comfort
It’s no greener on the other side
So I’ll stay here on this side with you

When I feel like singing the blues
Because life has lost its harmony
You are always there for me
Soothing me with your touch

Indigo not blue not violet
But a shade that’s inbetween
Some days I live in the inbetween
Waiting for you in my dreams

Amethyst stones in tones of purple
Bunches of fragrant violets
Gifts for a February birthday
Given and received with love

The rainbow that fades across my sky
Dispelling the swirls of luminous grey cloud
The coloured arc that vanishes
Along with the droplets of autumn rain
No longer do I reap the tempest
For in my head and heart there is peace  
Because I found you my haven and my harbour
My place of safety from life’s storms

Under her feet the autumn leaves
Crunch brittle and lifeless
Their majesty of russet and gold
Trampled into the soggy clay

The trees now stripped and sorrowful
Reach their branches skyward
In resentful supplication desperate
To recover their lost glory

The drizzle a fine haze over the hills
Slowly seeps into the bones of her
Leaving a damp sheen on her hair
That catches the radiance of the moon

Soft waves of mist roll across the track
Pooling around her ankles
In an eerie dance smooth and subtle
Moving in rhythm with her footsteps

Shadows join the mournful swirl
Cast blackly along her path
Streaks of bleak darkness
Created suddenly by the moonlight

The wind ruffles through her hair
Whispering words of encouragement
Almost as if it would comfort her
Give some solace to her soul

The harvest moon hangs huge and ******
Against the distant horizon
Guardian of the traveller
On her solitary nighttime quest

She trudges along the trail
No thought of glancing behind her
Willingly following where it leads
Through the wood and up into the hills

On the hilltop she stands in the silence
Gazing upwards to the star filled heavens
Her heart is full of wonder
She dare not disturb the woodland spirits

And yet in that heart there is a wish
A wish that remains unspoken
But she prays to the moon and stars
To the forest nymphs that it be granted

She bows her head in gratitude
As the wind caresses her skin
Her heart is joyful in this timeless moment
Knowing that her message has been heard

Money why does the concept of money exist
Why did it replace bartering for what you need
Swapping wheat for apples that’s simple and honest
Each person is happy with the result

Money why do we need it at all
It complicates our transactions
Leaves them open to deception and fraud
No one is content with the outcome

Why do we use tokens instead of goods or services
Who decides the worth of the tokens
Why do we jealously hoard and protect our tokens
When they have only a perceived value

Money why do we struggle to accumulate it
To achieve some measure of financial freedom  
Only to see it come crashing down
Due to artificial revaluation of the tokens

Money is not the root of all evil it’s greed
The billionaires who want to dominate
To use their hoarded tokens to control
The lives of those they consider less than

Money another illusion of the matrix
Another link in the chain of enslavement
Work because Arbeit macht frei
And it’s all for the common good

Cash is king in my world today
Physical tokens for when digital inevitably fails or is not accepted
An untracked untraced transaction
Not true freedom but enough for now

Don’t you dare cross the line
What line see here this line
I am warning you nicely
Crossing it isn’t fine

Don’t you take a step further
You are getting far too close
Any more movement this way
You’ll be treading on my toes

Don’t you take any more inches
That suddenly turn into miles
That makes me uncomfortable
My face has lost all its smiles

Don’t you breach the boundary
Or knock a hole in the wall
I built it up for a reason
It’s solid it won’t fall

Don’t you dare cross the line
The one I’ve drawn right here
If you stay on your side
I’ll have nothing to fear

Don’t you take a step further
Move back go on move back
Don’t you get any nearer
I feel like I’m under attack

Don’t you take any more inches
That I am unwilling to give
I will be always unhappy
And that is no way to live

Don’t you breach the boundary
The one I so carefully set
Keeping right back from the edge
I think is my safest bet

Oh dear you crossed the line
That movement was very slick
Well I’ll redraw the boundary
A well learned coping trick

If I could fly in my mind’s eye
I’d dance through the air
And I’d do it with flair
Living my dream or so it seems
I would travel far and wide
I would fly with you at my side
Side by side we would glide
Leave behind this world so rotten
All our cares and woes forgotten
Off we go wings beating slow
Reaching up into the sky
Now we are soaring so high
Flight so proud above the clouds
To the heavens we go
The earth left far below
Into the sun a journey begun
Far across hill and dale
And the sea where ships sail
Oh how we twirl oh how we swirl
Frozen here in time
One moment sublime
Under our wings the air sings
The wind drives us higher
Our souls are on fire
Faster the pace faster we race
Feeling the joy of our flight
We fly onward till night
Time to rest the body knows best
What a day we have seen
What places we’ve been
Oh if I could fly in my minds eye
I’d leave here forever
For the land of never