Decision, decisions, decisions,
their running me weary,
my legs say "stop" and my heart beats "no",
my brain is detecting fear.
When did my future and I become so low?
Harmony and peace and happiness are so far from me,
Out of reach, my hands grasps but no climbing is made.
I keep thinking, at the top I'll see!
but branch by branch my view fades.
Climbing but coming to no end
running but no gain.
My whole world is spinning and blending.
All that is coming out is pain.
Its time to change, to grasp my happiness again.
Its time to start myself on the path of amends
This time all I need is God at my aid.
I will keep climbing, no matter my tire, I want to see
what this mass world has for me, to help me grow.
Everyone near me, be on your toes.
For soon I will be transformed to my most pure self,
happiness again.

I'm falling,
hotter and hotter,
I'm falling,
with the stars,
Freer and freer.
I'm throwing,
harder and harder,
I'm throwing
my anchor to the moon,
steadier and steadier.
I'm not going down yet,
staying and staying,
I'm watching from up here,
the snow falling heavier each year,
lighter and lighter.
The snow on the trees,
it always helps me see,
clearer and clearer.
Have you heard,
when the snow falls,
the sounds are soaked,
into each crystal
on the flake.
creating an image
stronger and stronger
than words.
The stars they fall,
The moon it catches,
The snow flakes show,
all the steps to love.
Closer and Closer.

Summer, wind, earth, body,
words that sweep me off my feet.
fourteener, lakes, sunsets,
things that catch my breath.
car crashes, deaths, movies,
things that make me cry.
jokes, messy hair, tripping,
things that make me laugh.
holy cow, you.
you swept me off my feet,
you made me cry,
but you came back,
and you made me happy.
"your almost perfect,
and i'm a ***".
you said.
but i said,
you take the wheel, and take me away.
lets run,
run away?
run toward,
run for
something.

I'm nothing. I will forever be nothing.
How could He?
Why would He send me here to feel doubt and lack of self worth?
I have no purpose, I have no emotion.
Just raw me.
Just skin, salt-water and tears.
Just a stumpy body with no brain
trying to prove something to someone who's not even paying attention.
Self worth out the window- starting from scratch.
How would I like my life to go?
That idea- its far away out of reach
where I cannot grasp it.
I'm not tall enough or smart enough
I'm not good enough;
I'll never reach the moon or fall among the stars,
I'm just falling constantly falling and failing
everyone around me...
Everyone knows I'm not good enough,
but they don't want to say it.
I've disappointed, let down, and lost loves
Don't pay attention to this small breeze blowing by
I am but a mist.

On this overshadowed roof top, I'm untouchable.
In this fortress darling, I'm Princessed.
Covered by this treetop canopy, I'm levitated.
A truth unerased, Ill never be shamed of our love.
The sky above, the sea below both know,
   the smile you give me, can't be bought.
The country kick can't be beat.

Words like backpack, espresso, and morning
they make me want to thrive.
Ideas of the pas, the now and the future
they make me want to run and let go.
Bed, sleep, snuggle
I want to fall in love again.
Adventure, summer, single
make me warm and wanting inside.
My whole being has missed this freeing feeling,
No current control, no connections to have,
Now, finally, its I and my sweet lost soul.

Carve my heart, into yours.
The lights the sounds, the music
Sweeps me off my too high heels.
The Church sees the "X" on my hand,
They see my Tattoos and Scars.
They see me for me,
cracked, but not yet broken.
Next time don't judge,
Help.

this really isnt a love poem,
Poems of love are never really,
really about any 18 of them.
them boys i used to love,
I loved boys and was so fond of.
of bad something always happened,
it happened weather it was them or me.
me, myself, and i wrote this poem about  one,
one who is not gone,
gone in person, but not from my heart
my heart and I start:
I miss your big hands roaming on my skin.
my skin? I miss your smell.
smell of your breath and sound of your voice
voice soothing over mine.
mine and your warmth could heat the world.
my world was full,
full of, miss.
I miss.

What tastes salty?
Obviously potato chips.
Obviously a Californa girls hips.
Your lips after your tears
What tastes sweet?
Obviously the candy shop
Obviously an affair with a cop.
Your kisses in the morning
What tastes refreshing?
Obviously a cup of water.
Obviously a spring from the Alps.
Your skin in the shower.
Move me like the music and the rhythm.
Mold me like the sculptor and the ceramics.
My mistakes I have always shown on the surface,
But yours you have hidden deep beneath the sea.
These little black submarines,
They show in the shallows.
From encased in the hands of the small bird
that sits on your brain stem all day;
a little hope comes of me.
Or at least I muse it would.
I dream of you the whole night through,
and when winter comes I still dream of you.
And when age comes I still dream of you.
And when death comes to you, I still dream of you.
And in death I will come to meet the true you.
Don't take that the wrong way,
no one is behind me to back me up on this,
but you always say I don't know you,
believe me I really try too.
If you ever flew,
I would go with you
and the little birds would carry me through.

Seems like there's always
someone who disapproves,
they judge us like they know
how we used to steal
your parents liquor
and climb to the roof,
we will keep all our promises
be us against the world,
baby, be mind tonight,
say yes,
if you get this kind of rush
every time we touch.
who will love you?
who will fight?
who will fall far behind?
i dont want to be someone,
who walks away so easily,
i'm here to stay.
make the difference i can make,
marmalade, we're makin out,
dont make me tongue tied,
when i look into your eyes
its like watching the night sky,
or a beautiful sunrise.
oh, your a shooting star,
like Peter Pan up in the sky,
these lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
my eyes on your eyes
dont wave no good bye,
my, green eyes,
your the one i wanted to find,
anyone to deny you
is out of their mind.
honey, you should know
i could never go with out you;
i could write a song,
a hundred miles long,
talk about our future like we had a clue,
but i will be your girl,
thats where i belong,
here in your arms,
and you belong with me.
not swallowed by the sea.
the water is rough,
the stakes are high,
but this love is ours,
you cant replace it with a million rings.
i have died everyday,
just waitng for you,
Darling don't be afraid
i came here with a load
and it feels so much lighter
now that i met you,
one step closer
honey you should know
i have loved you for a thousand years
i could never go on
with out you.

What are you doing? What am I doing?
My mind on repeat, sometimes giddy with joy or full of disappointment.
"I'm sleeping with a southern",
or "I'm going out just for one drink", I respond.
No excuses besides, "I just turned 21! Its fun!"
I often lie awake thinking of someone else
... He's far off in Montana.
He's forgotten about me.
My life style right now is not what I'm used too,
but everything I expected.
Slowly, I take hold of the realization that,
I don't miss my last love, because I've missed being me.
I'm gripping toward an old self I lost with him.
and quickly I find, my youth, my full spirit,
and mostly my inner wild.
Adventure is out there, go! Seize it!
My heart pounds loudly, so loudly
I can't tell if I've skipped some beats or not.
My content-ness and comfortability is long gone,
but my wonder is in full restore.

Small Emergency Stop button
on my treadmill every mornin,
you grow and grow
as I run and run.
The two escapes I have,
running, writing.
Emergency Buttons are only helpful
on treadmills.
even if life had an emergency stop
would you really use it?
Would you or I really give up fall days?
what about summer rays?
what about the animals of the sea,
and what about the special he or she?
Honey, I would never Stop
this life I got,
I'm finally getting it figured out.
Not saying I don't get stressed out.
I do fuss and cry about,
silly things that in the end,
where literally not worth my time.
Emergency stop, where is your
pull now? Where is my want towards you now?
Emergency Go, where are you?
This treadmill is working, but I'm not going
anywhere, I'm hardly even showing,
signs of improving.
Improving this love,
to grow, while in the wild.
I wanted to say I love you, but couldn't,
so it just hurt more.
and now, I am solving my problems
looking at a Emergency stop button.
Treadmill you wont defeat my problems,
but you do defeat my stressors.
I have you back now, and so I don't care
where we end up. As long as its far from,
Emergency Stop.

Natural beauty doesnt attract attention.
I am out on this marvelous adventure,
and so often I narrow that down,
to work and ***.
This adventure where,
in the same moment I am in,
so are people hiking up Everest.
But the money,
But requesting off work.
Is there really any good time to go,
to go and run?
But the sights,
But the experience,
Is there really any better reason?
The time is now,
and one more day here,
is
not
going
to
do
it
for
me. Hello, barren new world,
Let me be the one to scatter your seeds,
and make you wonderful.
The life is so full,
Why no drink from it.
The life is so vast,
Why not start now.
The life is motivational,
Why not lead.
Here I come, and
starting tonight, I am planning my next biggest adventure.
Tomorrow.

It is a strange thing when
I feel I want to be your biggest strength.
I'd love to be the smile on your face
and the warm glow on your skin
because I also want to be your greatest weakness.
I want to bring you to your knee,
I'd love to be the thing that distracts you at work
and most of all I'd want nothing less than to be yours.

love can fill your
heart
but it can never be
apart
from who is for
you
when you believe they are
true
rust turns
pure
hate turns
clear
and all
before
turns to something
more
and when he
knelt
all you
felt
undescribed.

Doctor, Doctor, I need help,
The movie stars tears,
They aren't real.
Doctor, Doctor, I need help,
My heart is aching,
And I think I felt,
It dropped to the Pits,
And it won't get out.
Doctor, Doctor, help!
I can't wait much longer,
I'm confused, and I wander,
Into the dark alone,
I dont wanna go home.
Doctor, Doctor,
I'm all out of breath,
I have been running and running,
from death.
You will have to listen
Listen to my heart.
But I asure you,
Every beat will say,
Doctor Doctor....
Help.

Must be a leader, a go getter, a finisher,
must have wifi...
Enjoy coffee and tea
   more or as much as me!
The outdoors, adventure and explorative nature
    are mandatory.
Never curses or calls me names.
Must be fatherly material, with a wild side of child.
Must love God and Jesus.
Also have 3 passions besides me.
My future man shall support me and his dreams.
I'm really not asking for much, the "musts"
are top of the list!
The last wasn't all bad,
but
this list was created from his mistakes.

1 2 Let me love you,
3 4 Love you more,
I am wasting my time
in the most splendid ways,
I am putting my shirts on backwards,
I am putting my pants on inside out.
I am leaving your house
with half of what I came with.
I dont mind wasting my ways with you.
The smiles of melting,
the loves of a thousand affairs,
and the hands of a girl and a boy,
can get you very far.
My eyes cant get any bigger,
but they want to observe more,
my mind cant think any larger,
but it wants to imagine more.
Open my eyes, Crack my mind,
one inch up my body at a time.
Flowers growing up from my bed
laying me down in sweet sweet petals,
knowing soon you will come.
Come away with me to a beach,
shoes here, vows there, love everywhere.
Dont escape from this ring and me,
I will support you where ever life may be.
Here we go into this brave new world,
and the only thing I regret,
is the 17 years I spent with out you.

Last night I cried,
I cry, cry, for 3 hours.
Last night I tried,
I try, try, to tell the truth.
But, I could only lie,
I lied, lied, because even I,
couldn't face the truth.
The snow, it falls,
It fell, fell, and I thought,
God gave me this heart to love,
To love, love, him.
Next to return and I gave,
To give, give, this love
to the world.
The turning of the tide,
My tides, tides, are coming fast,
and I can finally lift my heavy,
These heavy, heavy, ribs
and my heart is beaten,
No... beating, beating, light red blood.
My lungs have more breath,
To breathe, breathe, from your lips,
sometimes my air is short,
but you fill me with more,
more, more, joy, love, and peace,
the way I've shown,
And show, show, my love
is being positively
overwhelmed with life,
live, live, life goes on.

Tell me why it is,
I can't get you off my mind?
I can't seem to stand here,
and not think of you.
I need to get me back,
I need to not rely,
because when we rely on humans
all the do is imperfect.
But isn't there so much beauty in imperfect?
Everyonce and then its nice to be messy,
disorderly and out of conduct.
Because if we never did that, it would be all
perfect and boring.
Imperfections have stories behind them.
The have reason.
Is there reason in perfection?
for me, little to none at all.
To be fun and hard to handle, to be out of control,
now theres the perfect imperfections.
Although I don't like my hair,
                                      my height,
                                      my present circumstance,
I'm imperfect and completely compelled
to strive toward control and loss of this regular life.

Once, I heard them say
I am the night,
you are the day.
The midnight controlled.
Our bodies network together,
Spiderwebs are inspired through us.
no one can have, what we achieved.
So short on time,
but all those days,
I dressed for you.
The night hides the secrets
you have trusted with only me.
the day proves we are stronger
than any earthly force.
Religion Families, or Fear
they build us up, they tear us down.
But these egale feathers
that grow under our skin,
someday with show,
and lift us far from
the life we live, and
bring us too the life we choose.
Dress Nice,
Dance *****,
my baby please dont leave me.
I've lost you once I cant go again.
Abraham and Issac,
one control one fear,
funny with us it always,
goes goes goes to the bible.
take the fear
that holds us back,
put it in a cage, and throw it to the stars,
make your wish
as it flies by,
the planets moon.
I hold onto you
Neptune, Big and Blue
like my still beating heart.

I dont know if its just these pillows,
but my body doesnt want to get up.
But sweetie when you leave me,
and my side feels vacant,
I dont want too, becomes a common phrase.
I am not sure if thats good or bad.
That I want to always be with you.
I'm in love, what can I say?
and being in love means never going away.
Honey, I dont mean to tie you down,
But next time you leave,
whisp me away with you?
I want to adventure too.
I dont like sitting at home, and waiting for you to come back.
Take me next time, or else dont go.
We've spent to much time apart,
and though I want you to go and explore,
never truly depart from me.

I listened with heart fit to break.
How do you stop thinking,
about something thats been with you
for the past couple of months?
Go from my mind,
Leave from my soul,
You are no longer my ultimate goal.
I absolutely refuse to forget.
But, sometimes I do fret,
the tears come to my eyelids
when I realize what I did
all the wrongs i committed,
But everything just felt... fitted.
People may judge me for what I've done,
but who said it was my choice?
when will they give me the voice?
Once you open your mouth,
and choose certain words to say,
people stop listening,-
views getting distorted,
sometimes I question, if I regret,
but then I remember how you just left.
of how I was standing in the rain,
completely open, and full of pain.
and you dumped-words on me,
and left me still open
you didnt even leave,
a needle and thread so i could start,
to help my self become one full part.

La-La-La-La-
choices, choices,
these flowers are hurting,
from the petals I am taking.
This back and forth,
making want to go North?
No, I'll stay, soak,
maybe smoke some some some dope.
Nope!
I want to make the change,
but I seem to be chained.
No ones help, No thanks,
I got this on my own,
I'm strong enough thank you.
This "I'm waiting" ring,
is making me tighter and tighter,
and he certainly is a fighter.
Call me Paul Bun-yun
I do what I want, young-
certainly until I'm dead.
******* stop messing with my head.
No easy fix,
this is going to take,
more than a couple cool trix.
I, like fingers in my mouth,
feeling ****, salty, and sweet.
*****, stay back if you don't want me;
(Opps,) on you.
Dancing away the mess,
in my now torn dress.
Stay back, I'm here-
To shake the world-
Gently,
                 is the last thing,
                                   on my mind,
                                                in my mouth,
                                                          ­  of my few words.

My outside is fake, hard, plastic.
My insides dying to come out! express.
No Barbie could ever see through this mess.
Fighting for a relationship is worth it,
until the fighting is done,
and still not gain has been made.
Still not solving solved.
How happy I was a year ago,
How happy I was in the shower,
And it is always your fault.
You are a selfish manipulator,
that always gets your way.
***.... For church?
I stand for my religion
and you knock out my feet.
I stand for my God,
and you knock out my knees.
I am an astronaut painting,
Painting my own universe,
slowly shattering and being painted over
by your own self,
How can you be so stone cold,
How can you not trust?
After all this my trust, is still away,
So no more slowing down.
I am done.
Not more convincing or holding back
I have got the reigns with no slack.
Manipulate all you want, you'll never get your way.
Because finally I realize it should never be this way.
Something you cant find
Take me back to the shower,
how happy I was!
and now, I've lost it...
Who knows when it will return.
Butterflies cant be kept in a box.
not matter how beautiful
they suffocate slowly and die,
when their job is to bring new life.

There's a big hole, it goes right through my soul,
It shines a light right onto yours,
Some day I'll find you, right now I'll pray for you.
Dear future, Please treat me right,
   don't play tricks.
   don't fight unless its with a passion and reason.
   don't do the round about way.
I hope someday soon,
I'll see you and know
and you'll know too.

I've had ups and I've had downs.
But I've had more ups than downs, so
Surely that means things are looking up?
I'm struggling with settling up here.
I just wish that sometimes some one would
be home waiting for me and would give me a hug
and tell me I could do this.
Riley has been doing a good job of giving me time
and comfort. My mom too.

"When you know, you know"
     But I didn't know.
I did know that the way the past treated me wasn't right.
And I knew that those boys would never be men.
And, I knew I wanted more.
But now, I know.
I know your everything I need
     and more than I expected.
I know that your a gift from heaven.
I know I love you.
I could never want more,
    because you and yourself
     is just enough.

How did I get there??
These words used to flow,
used to put, straight from my soul.
Now my heart is empty,
my flesh is angry,
and my soul, oh my soul, is so weak,
and so must be the words I speack.
Torrential down pour of fear,
when I see your name appear,
Upon a screen, call----Ingored.
My words have become weak,
I can hardly even do a few lines.
Is it you? or is it mea,
Holding back so I can't see.
The world is so open and I want to go.
But, I am being held back.
I hold on, and so do you.
But what if we're holding on to different things?
And this love is not as it all seems.
Falling and breaking apart at the seams,
How could you have possibly meant
what you said?
Dissapointment, immature, not wise,
these are the things your saying to me.
I don't think that they are entirely true,
but what can I do?
Today is new,
and you'll want nothing to do
with last nights call.
But if it was you,
Standing here in my shoes,
What would you say?
You don't want to stay? and just go work.
Everyone needs a break.
Everyone needs some space
To breath, to look back and see
just what their words might be,
to some one open, and vulnerable
Often knives come at me from your mouth,
I've learned to deflect them all.
But now it is my turn
to let you know how it feels when
all of you fails.

Making progress
Can sometimes be hard
to start.
Especially when you not sure,
What to progress,
With no grades to raise,
and no friends to impress;
life is pretty simple when,
all you do is
work and ***.

To caffeinated to sleep,
to stressed to eat
to worried to work
and to sad to smile.
My life flipped upside down.
I'm getting used to this turned sideways view.
And for now... it'll have to do.
But once I'm passed and over you
I will regain my joy
and find a way to smile again.

We search for the secret places,
we make special places,
and we long for more places to go.
We have the privacy of
our own backyards,
and resort to the privacy of
our own closets,
and retreat to the privacy of
our own minds.
The darkest of secrets is shared
with nothing;
But our own private selves.

Which way do you fold me?
Sometimes, the love is strong,
and it holds me up,
and gets me in and gets me out.
Sometimes, the love is present,
it runs through the room,
it flows through the days.
Sometimes, the love is gone,
it leaves empty rooms
it comes in unfinished sentences.
Why does it have to be like that?
Why can't things be normal?
Not pretending, not faking.
But maybe some changing,
it would be good.
This cursive is writing on the wall,
This fluent is in languages I can't understand.
Sometimes it seems
you need a walk in closet.
To hang your skeletons in.
But once you hang them,
Leave them. Leave them for me,
Leave them for you,
I dont care how you do it,
Just leave the closet closed forever.
Baby Once in a Blue,
You make me sad.
Yet that sad sometimes spells,
Sad is a long word,
And it means things, some of us
Don't know how to explain.
So, lets try one more time,
Another round, for the couple of the year.
Dithers, and high high Hithers,
they may come and go,
For all I know, I'll be where you are.

You's ma boo, you are my love,
My bae, my babe, my baby,
You are my sweet sweet honey,
You're my rock, You are my number one hugger,
You're my giver too, and my supporter of,
You are whatever you want to call yourself,
Above all, your mine.

Lungs collapsing.
Full with cold.
Tears or sweat;
Mix on my face.
How often I question
my tired bones.
Please dont fail me now.
Structures build up
to benefit me,
but all I see,
is the change and regret.
Pouring from within,
Oh my dear, Dont go...
I only want some time for me
to think clearly.
I dont want to lose you,
But cant you see??
Sometimes the runaway,
just might be me.

Absolute completeness with you.
I find myself questioning how you found me...
My heart buried deep in shame and sorrow,
you pulled me up and bruised me off.
You said, "you don't have to think like that".
Calloused soft hands yearned me towards you.
You said, "I know that I love you".
A large bound towards my now known future.
Full satisfaction with you.
Your heart moves mine,
dancing across a spotlight stage,
no bumps or trips, to tricks or hidden secretes.
Everytime I lay down with you
my heart sinks into trust and is covered in your love.
You said, "You're all I need".
My thoughts continually turn to rich, wet, dark memories.
Your whole being lures me into a love that you make with me.
Body on body, heart on heart,
our own rhythm creates new ripples in this love lake.
You support, emphasize, stir up, undo, strip down, weaken, strengthen, cherish, all of me.
You accept the good, bad and ugly.
I will never understand how vast your love is,
but I will spend the rest of my time
finding you.

These graceful ballerinas,
seem to be so strong,
from high strung
chandeliers.
an eerie sight it is
to look upon society
at your finest, at your worst.
someday I want to join
these ballerinas,
on stage all is well,
perfectly placed and put together.
no one inquires
off stage.
how nice,
no personal life,
to worry about.

If your voice was an island,
it wouldn't be Hawaii,
even with your warm breath and your soft touch,
it would be more like Iceland.
Your durable skin, and your sturdy mind,
your voice would be Iceland.
It cools me down, and it sometimes heats me up.
Much like a candle our love flickers and shines,
but it can also burn and hurt.
People always say love grows over distance,
but sometimes the distance grows to stress,
and sometimes the stress can grow into an island
and your relationship winds up being two beaches that never meet.
But our love will not do that.
Our love, will grow the forest in between,
our love will sustain.
Our love, will become like a statue
that doesn't wear like the greek ruins
or turn colors like the Liberty.
Although, right now it is just as simple as a daisy,
anything can destruct it, or simply pick it,
but nothing has, and soon we will grow into a field,
and others will look and see our love is
warm, soft, durable, and sturdy.

My lungs swell with the rebel inside.
They fill the air with, "Just try".
My heart ferociously beats with love,
it beats out the rhythm through my feet.
The rebel, the beat, the love,
all passions coming and clanging together
in my mind.
A common ground, a common love, a common passion,
a common amorous feeling, a common extravagahnt fondness for many or one similarity.
What passion we lack in our relationship.
No common passion... What?
How can we carry on?
"We fall in love with the wrong people."
lights, thoughts, rhythms, and feeling
pour out of my actions and eyes
but you and me, my love; we lack Passion.

I dont want to hear,
the words;
songs. Your voice speaking through them.
I'm trying to forget,
I'm trying not to care,
Getting, going, away.
Driving my wheels fall off
with or with out you,
my heart is,
                                                Heavy and
into DEEP.

My muscles feel like the are,
draped over my bones.
So slow and not willing to work.
People don't seem to notice,
because my face is painted on,
morning, and removed at night.
So raw when nothing is covering
the scars people have made.
on MY body.

And adventure arising deep deep from my bones.
The ocean is calling! The mountains are calling!
I must go.
I must go adventure.
Alone. Wild. Wonderful.
The true life to live.
With or without you. I will survive.
I will live. I will flourish.
Although my bones grow weak,
my lungs and love are strong and ready.
To fight, to love, to live,
will be an awfully big adventure.
The lord my pursuit,
the mountains my refuge,
the ocean my ultimate escape.

Here in my,
Candyland,
This Snickers Bar,
it satisfies,
but it certainly doesnt,
sustain.
Much like a man
who loves you, one summer,
but as winter comes,
he goes,
with the leaves.
I keep talking,
thinking, and
repeating,
"guys leave me."
like a baby,
with nothing to do but cry.
I have left,
my fair share,
broken hearts at least once.
And I'm about,
to do it again.

Out with the old, in with the new
I knew that our love was to good to be true.
Next time I'll be bullet proof.
No, next time: I'll find a prince;
             not a fugitive.
Next time I'll find a wild;
              not a control.
Next time I won't hold myself back
I won't give up myself.
Next time, my love won't fade.
If it does; He'll fight for it back,
not exit the scene.
Next time will be nothing but love
    Not a fear of leaving.
You won't be able to recognize
to hypnotize my back.
I'll be strong because of you.
Isn't that what you wanted?

In the kindest way...
I just want to shake you!
And knock what I am saying into your head
... out of love.
I just want to grab you!
And slap my emotions onto your heart,
I love you too.
I want the best for us too.
So how come when I correct you,
It s all fighting and my fault?
But you correct me, I am at fault.
I want my heart and my brain
to feel your love.
Not just my ****.
Is that to much to ask?
I love you too.
Just listen to these words,
Please.
Respect and communication is all I want.
No bows, or diamonds, just us.
Just you. Just your whole heart.
In my hands
: All said out of love.

Up high in this tower,
I cant see anything from this window!
and all these panes are blocking my view.
not seeing clearly,
and like an elephant suspended
by birds, I feel heavy as ever.
I like the sounds in music,
and you like the beats.
*******. Love? Thats a word
over used and misunderstood.
I'm starting over.
No really, all the way back to
Genesis. And I'm ending over again.
Revelation. A Revealing of,
Spirit. Heart. Mind. and Body.
Dont stop me!
I'm no bird tied down by string.
I'm as free and dusty and an empty cage.
The belt of Orion,
is on my waist now.
Dream what you will, I for once,
am at peace with... "Situations".

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
It tastes like I'm ******* on pennies,
It feels like a broken air conditioner.
It views like rain on a windshield,
It sounds like instant love, instant forget.
But how could you just move on?
What did you get from this anyways,
just another to add on your list of cast aways?
I dont know what it all means,
but i can tell you, I don't feel very clean.
I dont know why, when i see you
I'm instantly formed into someone new.
I loved being with you, and finding new things,
but now I am feeling, winter inside when it brings,
cold, and no good for me.
Before the winter, you were the fall,
the fall leaves,
they are are taking back all my memories.
All the times things were good with you,
you wrote me a story and a poem or two.
But then comes the bad forgotten bits,
of how you were when you had little fits.
Not holding my hand, unless you wanted too,
Not kissing my lips, i didn't do my hair.
How come we only touched, if under your command,
but oh, how i miss the touch of your hand.
How i miss talking to you,
the sparks they flew, but only in my head
you didn't see them, you didn't have a clue.
And i just keep thinking, all the things we said.
Well, things that chapped my lips,
they had never been said, until my thoughts eclipsed.
I opened up, and let you in both mentally and physically,
I thought we moved together so fittingly.
Apparently, it was only me,
who saw the good, and ignored the bad,
you said, "I cant do that", and we left so sad.
That night I was up tossing and turning,
the words I should have said were yurning!
How come this wedge was drove between us,
I'm sorry for that and all the fuss.
It wasn't worth ever loosing what we had,
Really this all is driving me quiet mad!
The words unspoken, and gone unnoticed,
I think now I can see your clear motives.
No need to assume here, you always said you cared,
I'll take your word for it, but I shouldn't have shared,
somethings are meant to be mine, and not taken,
but, you helped my heart become reawakened.
But, I'll move out of the way for you,
I'll move out of the way for your dreams too.
However, Gosh, there is no need to run,
this thing we have is so overdone.
Our personalities may clash,
there is no need to act so brash.
Sometimes I wonder, who is the younger?
Because based on our equal hunger;
to learn,
               to feel,
                            to go,
                                        to discover,
we really should put our age undercover.
Maybe I am the child
to think that you wanted me, it seems so wild.
Or maybe you are the child,
you always were a bit more wild.
Dont take this verse in the wrong,
I'm only trying to move forward, and be strong.
Hello? You taught me being young at heart,
would help the mind and Spirit, become like art;
Free, and careless, and no regrets,
thats how I remember "us", don't forget.
You said, that I need to live a couple year, I need to grow,
and learn on my own how to sow,
advance my decisions, beliefs, and ideas-
Get out of the house, run like North Korea.
Thank you a lot helping me through,
all the different times life becomes askew.
Sad to say I still sort of like you,
Sad to say its only me, I'm sorry, I had too!-
Write this poem for, unworthy you.

Some of my hopes flew away,
some of my dreams met reality.
Some of your wild left with the wind
some of your maturity grew again.
This humanity blind,
is unfortunately bound to a life,
with no passion.
Only Pintrest and dreams,
But our eyes are not shut,
the can see into the vast, open, waiting,
            Future.
We  can make imagination run free
           In this world.
Your smart and I'm by your side.
Lets fly away and realitize all around us.
Give 110% at everything eve if its nothig.
The wild is ever entreanching,
and the tames is ever defeating.
Secrete lover lets get out,
and do, our thing.
Leave this drama,
Leave this behind.
Grow in love, is the only way.
The light is shinning and I'm
getting there fast.

If our love was a sticky note,
it would be sky blue.
It would have a lot of notes, and stories on it.
It would still have room for more.
It would be still sticky,
and it would be stuck where I could always see it.
It would follow me around like a bad penny.
If our love was a pen,
it would have forever lasting ink.
It would have written this poem.
It would be dark black, and wet
with dripping love.
If our love was a text...
Well, you hate texting so never mind.
If our love was a sticky note though,
It wouldn't burn in the fire,
but it would be able to start one.
Our love, doesn't fade,
and my love for you grows
day by day.
However, our love is not a sticky note,
or a pen,
or a text.
It is much more than that.
It is expressive, and not dismissive.
It is colorful,
and has many stories involved in it.
It is going to have more stories.
It is on my phone, it is in my bed, I can see it everywhere.
It follows me around like a bad penny.
It is everlasting,
and it is as tangible as the perfect poem.
Our love can get dripping wet sometimes,
and it is usually overflowing.
It doesn't give up in the fire of a fight,
But it starts the desire of one.
I don't know how else to say it,
but we will fight the odds, and make the playoffs,
we will go through hard and nice strolls in the park.
Life and love are officially intertwined in
our two bodies.

dress nice,
dance *****.
please whisper,
that you love me.
I only know,
is that you don't
ever show,
your true self.  
you sleep on a mattress
on the floor.
And never answer
the questions i ask.
to be honest,
i get nervous
when you smile.
mystery,
unravel
yourself.