When the sleep settles in,
the bed calls and the light goes dim.
When you look back and say,
"All went well today."
Thats the moment I love most.
When stress seems small,
and the world is all but,
   crumbling.

On this overshadowed roof top, I'm untouchable.
In this fortress darling, I'm Princessed.
Covered by this treetop canopy, I'm levitated.
A truth unerased, Ill never be shamed of our love.
The sky above, the sea below both know,
   the smile you give me, can't be bought.
The country kick can't be beat.

I'm running wild! and it feels so good.
Freedom at las, from my once controlling past.
My religion is growing, my smiles are too,
I've forgotten about one and moved on to two...
I know he thinks of me often,
but there is another more frontal on his mind.
Its okay, I'll be here running wild.
My whole body feels lighter
my hair bounces naturally with each step
Step by step i'm walking out on you,
Part of me feels sorry, but part of me feels...
Ungrown.
My legs have been like strong roots
     holding me down through the weather by you.
My arms have been accepting
     no matter the weather there was a place for you.
My body a masterpiece
     continuously speculated, grabbed, and used by you.
What a wonderful relationship you must have had!
My perspective was so different.
The fun times usually caused stress because I had said something wrong,
       or wore something to short.
Not this time. Not next time. Not ever again!
This jewel will not be chained down any longer.
I am happier and less stressed with you gone.
That may be harsh, but darling its true.
So with out further ado,
Good bye.

Caught up, fired up and ready to argue,
I remember in the motion of photographs,
our laughter, our kisses.
Enwrapped by your mouth,
showing mine the way. How can bad come
from my mouth as well?
How horrible to let you see that side of me.
The side no stranger or even friends see.
The side thats mean and nasty.
Let my mouth do building instead.
Le my mouth help you get lost in mine.
Let my mouth be of love and genuine support.
I'm sorry for the things that may exit.
That side of me, will hopefully
no longer be, by tomorrow.
My love will ever grow for you.
My heart will only yern for yours.
Matches made, lives entangled, established 2013.
Here we go, about to pass the two year mile.

The tiredness no amount of coffee can fix,
of chasing boys since 1996.
But they keep running,
So I'll be staying and waiting.
Come knight, come armor,
get me out of this clambering mess.
I can't get out myself, I'll need an accomplice.
You. You make me want to roam free,
go out and be me!
How can I stay hidden like this?
My light inside is slowly dimming.
Please come set me free.
If you chased... If you tried...
You'd be the one I'd hold at night.
I know I'm not much,
but get to know me, and I'll be more.
You help my weary wings soar.
They are stretching out and wildly flourishing.
Once locked up so others couldn't see
is what he's really doing to me.
I'm not ready to settle down,
I'm not ready to leave my independence.
Just put you on hold, upon a high shelf,
I'll live my life by myself.
Come back to you, and get you down,
brag about the fun I had,
then only then, I'll make you a dad.

Down comforter white,
with you in my sights,
never has life seemed so bright.
Tangeled sheets,
hearing new beats,
my soul has had defeats
lover together, in love apart,
your never to far from my heart,
I will always be able to smell your farts.
Our love is for the ages,
I could write all these pages,
no more, of our minds in cages.
****, breathless, skin skimming skin,
Our love is more than a ***** little sin.
Summers coming and so is Number 24, so jump in!
Come home soon, and take me away,
next time, you'll be able to stay,
Run-away you'll always be,
Runny wild now with a heart in your hands.

Cant you see in my eyes?
can't you hear in my voice?
I am trapped!
I fear love, and am charmed by admiration.
No, I won't give up...
           but I won't fall for the same trick twice.
I seem sweet, but deep inside
I thirst and hunger for more eternal.
Your everything I need to keep me crazy,
and every thing you need to keep you sane.
Attracted to people in help, I always succeed,
in letting them over power me.
Steps must be taken,
   one at a time.
Because soon, you'll be the biggest decision of my life.
You don't understand, I am so caught up
baby names are already accounted for.
My heart is beating out of my chest
with each pump of blood and each breath I breathe,
you are there in front of me.
Rebellion has often been, my go to alarmed.
I am still young, and you know what I want?
To do what I want.
Some one smart once said,
if you stop doing things for fun, you may as well be dead.

While I sit here in the silence of my own house,
I hear the moaning and tangling seeping from the bedroom.
I hear echoes of laughter and feel wet kisses on my neck.
Oh the times we spent together.
Hands, big warm hands, stroking down, down, down my back.
Skin to skin, but it seems so much more...
rather heart to heart.
Curving and sliding we form together,
puzzle pieces is to cliche
to say.
Oh the nights we've spent.
My love, my armor, my inspiration.
It is you I find laying beside me,
so close your warmth feeds my cold feet.
Slowing down, really just means our breath.
Oh the things the walls have heard
together, so close, our bodies mold.
I long for your hands on my chest,
I long for my nose etching up your skin.
Much like art, much like slow music,
much like the truest love I've known,
its always been you, my darling.

Remembering all the times we had.
When you said "If I kiss you now, it all will change,"
and how it all did.
Now I wonder, didn't your friends advise you to stop?
Didn't they say, "You'll break her heart."
or were they to busy with themselves, like you?
You simply just kept leading me on and on and on.
Will I ever not hurt when reflecting back on you?
Just a girl trying to be woman for you,
Just a boy trying to get over a past love.
How could you have taken your time?
Even told our parents about me.
How many hugs did I waste?
How heavy is my stolen virginity on your shoulders now?
Do you still speak my name?
Does it resound in your ears? Do you ever recall my tears?
How did the end look in your eyes?
... Can you tell my wounds are still unclosed.

the park bench,
the letters,
the hands on each other,
the new commitment,
it all ended that Wednesday,
I walking with someone new,
and from the look in your eyes,
I knew you were through.
I have left you before, much like this,
and my dear, I trully regret.
I wonder each night,
what my life would be like,
If I had run with you.
3182,
I have eluded to you,
much before in my previous poems.
I love you, and always will
I regret every night, not keeping my focus on you.
3182,
I left you with heart fixed to break
as deeply as mine had broke.
3182,
I am sorry that I now cant take back what I did.
Now I am stuck, and I cant get out.
But if I ever did,
know that your arms would be,
the only ones to comfort me.

My memory is coming back
the muscles are weary but still strong and memorized.
Nothing has changed really...
Accept, everything.
I love with happiness and trust.
I want  with longing and fulfillment.
I see with clarity and depth.
Writing poetry from my inner-self
     with no fear of what may come out,
those are the weary but strong muscles,
and you are the loved wanted and seen thing,
myself won't stop thing about.

My eyes drop with the sleepiness the day has left me with.
My mind is as wake as the full bright moon.
Running and turning and reviewing empty thoughts.
I'm not stressed, nor confused, nor anxious,
I'm just simply awake.
Please, little eyes, close.
Busy brain, please, rest.
Beating heart, slow, please.
All I want is to just let go.

Dear boy whom I fell in love with in my childhood
I still love yo. I always have and always will.
If you wanted me I'd be with you
I hope you go so far in architecture.
Dear young musician whom I loved for many years,
I've never met you, but one day I will.
I think of you often, and you hold the key to my liberal side
I now cry when I hear a violin play.
Dear anti-manly-man who stole my virginity,
Your not worth the next few lines
Goodbye.
Dear man who ran with my heart,
I love you in so many deep and mysterious ways,
keep chasing me, I'll be here waiting for you,
No matter how long it takes.
Don't worry about these past loves
They hold my past, but you hold something far more precious...
my future.

With heats so wild
we need cages of bones,
to hold back these wonderful desires.
Slowly I am wandering further
getting lost in your love,
and consumed by your fire.
Windows are wide open
peering in from my heart to yours,
And i have only one small drop
of knowing in my soul.
My bones rattle as I fix on you,
and by far out of my grasp
only your sheets know how
we speak,
and only your love knows
the others heart.
For you are mine and I am yours,
bound not by law, but power above.
To great for this world,
my speech falls short,
done without haste,
I am a drop with the force of gravity,
concerning your love.

My lungs swell with the rebel inside.
They fill the air with, "Just try".
My heart ferociously beats with love,
it beats out the rhythm through my feet.
The rebel, the beat, the love,
all passions coming and clanging together
in my mind.
A common ground, a common love, a common passion,
a common amorous feeling, a common extravagahnt fondness for many or one similarity.
What passion we lack in our relationship.
No common passion... What?
How can we carry on?
"We fall in love with the wrong people."
lights, thoughts, rhythms, and feeling
pour out of my actions and eyes
but you and me, my love; we lack Passion.

"When you know, you know"
     But I didn't know.
I did know that the way the past treated me wasn't right.
And I knew that those boys would never be men.
And, I knew I wanted more.
But now, I know.
I know your everything I need
     and more than I expected.
I know that your a gift from heaven.
I know I love you.
I could never want more,
    because you and yourself
     is just enough.

You're my favorite favorite thing,
treated like a lady.
You're my best friend.
Past the stars, I'm back in your arms,
hold tight, I didn't think you'd jump.
Jump with me, deeper in this
This thing, surpasses bf and gf
it goes beyond forever,
it lights me up and spins me round,
it swings high and low.
You and me we make round about days --> full.
Fill me, pour me, in your morning coffee,
I'll be your daybreak sunbeam,
bring me along, follow me there,
as long as its your hand in mine,
its captivating.

Hello big-wonderful-warm-inviting bed.
I was thinking of you all day.
Bed, I want to lay in you and never get up.
But I am sorry motivation keeps pulling me out.
It makes me run and study for good grades.
Actually I guess in a lot of ways
I crave motivation more than you.

After much deliberation
after lost of prayers and tears
after losing myself completely...
I'm finally who I am...
I'm finally who I'm meant to be.
Thanks to you, I'm free.
I'm sure your happy and doing well.
I want you to know, I am too.
The stress has left
I'm cool and relaxed.

I want you to want to dance with me.
I want you to take me up in your arms,
swing me and dip me across the kitchen.
I want you to want me.
I want you to like what I like,
and be inspired by what I see.
I want you to dance with me.
Thats all I have ever wanted,
but its your water to the wicked witch.

Messy sleeping in beds much to big.
Go to bed with a clear head,
and a happy heart.
Weak up and live life smart.
Wasting days, wasting minutes,
let each second breathe life into your achey bones.
The thunder claps inside,
While my body is silent.
Am I the only sane body, with a wild mind, and a gracious heart?
If missing you feels like drawing,
then tonight I'm flying.

There's a big hole, it goes right through my soul,
It shines a light right onto yours,
Some day I'll find you, right now I'll pray for you.
Dear future, Please treat me right,
   don't play tricks.
   don't fight unless its with a passion and reason.
   don't do the round about way.
I hope someday soon,
I'll see you and know
and you'll know too.

I want to lay here and fall asleep under the twinkle lights.
I want to go home and smell the evergreen tree.
I want you to follow me to my car and kiss me with passion.
I want to fall asleep in your big arms.
I want to reach out through the phone and comfort you.
I want to drift away onto the sandy beaches.
I want to be my own kind of person.
I want all these things, but most of all I want to know.
Having no control
I can't tell people what I'll be doing this summer...
Having little to no control is draining and stressful.
I just want to know...




My heart wants to be wild and be free
But theres a difference between free and control.
To be free of ties, but know where I am going.

Baby, can you feel me like I feel you?
I feel the weight of our love every day.
I feel your weight in my bed. I feel you.
Do you know why I'm around?
Can you smell me when I go?
Because, I know, your smell.

I've had ups and I've had downs.
But I've had more ups than downs, so
Surely that means things are looking up?
I'm struggling with settling up here.
I just wish that sometimes some one would
be home waiting for me and would give me a hug
and tell me I could do this.
Riley has been doing a good job of giving me time
and comfort. My mom too.