What have these fairy tales made us afraid of?
Step moms and snakes?
there is more to life that living in fear,
And there is more to fear than being afraid.
Fear is a feeling of many natures and forms,
Including step moms and snakes.
Fear isnt only brought on by dark,
fear is in love too,
and fear is in hate.
Fear is in a butterflies first flight,
and fear is in our tummys,
when something is not right.
The Sound of Music showed us more than the sights of Austria,
It showed us how to sing,
Some times the fear is in what we already know.
Fear can control if you let it,
and after you see it,
its hard to forget,
But you can replace your with something bigger.
Bigger than the night time,
I am the stars.
I'm not in heaven, but when i'm
with you i'm
close.
You are faster than the night,
and sneakier than the clock ticking past noon.
On a Saturday, you are the Sunday afternoon.
The fear is less now.
You are ahead of my own thought,.
You know my bed,
You know i have zebra sheets,
and a red stain in the corner.
You know my body,
dimples and scars.
You know all the perfections, and defections.
The fear is less and less now.
Our kisses enable me to hear,
clocks ticking around the world.
you taste like...
words are to meager to describe.
There goes the fear,
There it goes,
out the window,
and into the hearts of those,
Step moms and Snakes.

I dont know if its just these pillows,
but my body doesnt want to get up.
But sweetie when you leave me,
and my side feels vacant,
I dont want too, becomes a common phrase.
I am not sure if thats good or bad.
That I want to always be with you.
I'm in love, what can I say?
and being in love means never going away.
Honey, I dont mean to tie you down,
But next time you leave,
whisp me away with you?
I want to adventure too.
I dont like sitting at home, and waiting for you to come back.
Take me next time, or else dont go.
We've spent to much time apart,
and though I want you to go and explore,
never truly depart from me.

I hope this ol' train breaks down,
So i can see,
The inside of your mind sweetie,
its opening up, one crack at a time.
One family member closer,
One 4 month closer.
Your mind, will forever be a maze,
and I will forever explore,
each word you spoke,
to much love for one world.
Our loves bleeds onto others.
These conners of your heart,
is just enough room for my findings.
Hold me closer, pin me down.
And never forever longer frown.
You have me, and you have my hands.
Hold them, rub them, ring them left
because you will have been a theft,
of my ever curious mind.
Mrs. CC, Baby Claire, and Lovebug,
the names I never thought I'd hear,
from those nights in a red corvett
To the days we spent
sperate hearts
much to far apart
can make one love,
with many unworthy words,
and to much unwasted time,
and many memories:
Baby i could spend a life time
folding away these late night memories
into my deep rolling brain waves.
My dreams are lucky to be holding you tonight.

1 2 Let me love you,
3 4 Love you more,
I am wasting my time
in the most splendid ways,
I am putting my shirts on backwards,
I am putting my pants on inside out.
I am leaving your house
with half of what I came with.
I dont mind wasting my ways with you.
The smiles of melting,
the loves of a thousand affairs,
and the hands of a girl and a boy,
can get you very far.
My eyes cant get any bigger,
but they want to observe more,
my mind cant think any larger,
but it wants to imagine more.
Open my eyes, Crack my mind,
one inch up my body at a time.
Flowers growing up from my bed
laying me down in sweet sweet petals,
knowing soon you will come.
Come away with me to a beach,
shoes here, vows there, love everywhere.
Dont escape from this ring and me,
I will support you where ever life may be.
Here we go into this brave new world,
and the only thing I regret,
is the 17 years I spent with out you.

Carving hearts,
opening them up,
melting them in each other.
holy love i feel with you.
never elave me again,
or i will forever be,
with out my other heart.
2 hearts make love,
1 love in,
I love you.
my heart melts to my lungs,
filling them with your scent.
never leave me again.

Breath in,
Breath out,
they say,
the sedation will feel heavy,
or did they say,
seduction?
Remember what he does,
when your asleep?
He waits,
for a dream,
soon it will come true.
But after it comes true,
the dishes will be cleared,
the laughter will die,
the guests will leave,
and the makeup will be removed.
Every night will still be the same,
dreaming up,
a new dream,
of riding this old town,
right out.

These graceful ballerinas,
seem to be so strong,
from high strung
chandeliers.
an eerie sight it is
to look upon society
at your finest, at your worst.
someday I want to join
these ballerinas,
on stage all is well,
perfectly placed and put together.
no one inquires
off stage.
how nice,
no personal life,
to worry about.

someone once broke my heart,
and it wasnt anyones fault but him,
one time i gave my heart to a boy
and he played with it like a toy.
i am not trying to complain
but really i'm in a lot of pain.
i gave you my heart knowing
that you might not be showing
me and my heart the right way
so really i shouldnt have gave
you the key.
i'm saying that it wasn't just you it was me.
maybe our relationship was as crazy as it seemed,
i convinced myself of so many things,
when really it was only good for a week,
and really it wasn't that strong; more meek.
we were both loud outrageous people,
and that living room couldnt hold both our attidudes.
you stole the laughter out of my eyes,
you stole the music from my ears.
really this wasn't our relationship,
it was yours, you owned it.

the dark of my room,
the dark of your eyes.
both so convincing and so consuming.
both so safe and so relaxing.
i wish the clounds would go away
and leave us here to breathe,
i wish the sun would shin all day,
and leave us here to see
the beauty in this world is all around
in the homeless,
in the hopeless,
in the wealthy,
in the secured.
everything had a touch
and a smell that is familiar to our forgotten memories,
or thoughts locked away in old rusty caves.
they come out to play,
when you ask what i did when i was young.
i am young-
when i'm with you
in your strong arms
when we are lying in your bed,
whe you are stuck in my head.
my head it sounds like a beating drum,
i swear you should hear it
it starts when your around.
around around this emotional merry-go-round
a shot in the dark
the target was you,
you in the dark with me, always leads to something new.
ideas fly through me,
of running away
or maybe just to stay.
who knows what roads we will take to get us there.
there and here,
home is where the heart is,
the heart is where the mind will follow,
my mind on you
and the beauty in the dark
of this fake wonderful world.
goodnight.

All this candy is making me sick,
Or maybe iys me thinking of the huge ****,
You really are.
Dont go to far,
Tomorrow I'm running your face,
Into the ground; at my own pace.
Your to charming, to sweet smile,
Now just makes me want to bile.
I promise you, I'll be so much bigger,
And you'll be nothing more than a digger,
Digging for love, digging for lust,
And it will all be a bust,
Because you don't dig for love,
You stumble upon it, you find it,
You never let go of it, once you have it.
I hope someday I see you somewhere,
Somewhere like a state fair.
So I can look at you again,
And tell you how great I really am,
Just do you can see,
How much you really meant to me;
I gave, and gave,
I have you my all, and tore down my wall,
Hell, I gave you every last bit,
And you took me down, and stole my virginity!
But, Sam, I realize I hardly know
Anything about you, it was all for show.
I don't even know your favorite color,
But if I had to guess, it'd be multicolor;
"Multi"- for the two face you wear,
Red for the love we shared,
Blue for how far away I want to be from you,
Green for all the memories I have,
Black for all our physical touches,
Yellow for your immaturity you pegged on me,
And purple for how great you think you are.
Oh and I hope you don't care,
I'm going to party and drink,
Until I just can't think!
I'm going to do what I want,
I don't care if you think I'm a ****.
**** my kiss, baby, while you can,
Because tomorrow, I'll be gone.
It was fun for me, while it lasted,
Now, I don't give a blasted,
Thing you do. Talk to you in a year or two,
I'll stop in, with out notice, "how do you do?".
I'm going to listen to my music,
Sam, your right, we just didn't work,
You didn't try more than a dumb baby with a fork.
Please, don't make another excuse,
For why your not around to make amuse,
Stop with the jokes,
Stop with the show.
Good bye,
I hope you live a long life,
With out me.

i'm running and i'm sick.
i'm rebuilding this house brick by brick.
i'm hopeful, and i'm wrong.
all this building is making me strong.
i hope someday we find our way,
but right now i just want to go away.
i want to forget,
i want to remember.
how sick am i, of you, pretender,
i am not yours,
but you want me for yourself.
i dont want this limbo.
i will watch you leave through the window.
come back when your ready,
we can gaze stars in some cemetery.
but right now i need solid,
constant, real, no "maybes".
just "yes"s and "no"s.
i'm sorry, but i'm starting to slow,
this thing you call your own.
1 is the loneliest number,
2 is a pair,
"we" is a word people use,
but you have to choose:
1 to be alone,
2 to be happy,
but only if you want me,
no insecurity.

Which way do you fold me?
Sometimes, the love is strong,
and it holds me up,
and gets me in and gets me out.
Sometimes, the love is present,
it runs through the room,
it flows through the days.
Sometimes, the love is gone,
it leaves empty rooms
it comes in unfinished sentences.
Why does it have to be like that?
Why can't things be normal?
Not pretending, not faking.
But maybe some changing,
it would be good.
This cursive is writing on the wall,
This fluent is in languages I can't understand.
Sometimes it seems
you need a walk in closet.
To hang your skeletons in.
But once you hang them,
Leave them. Leave them for me,
Leave them for you,
I dont care how you do it,
Just leave the closet closed forever.
Baby Once in a Blue,
You make me sad.
Yet that sad sometimes spells,
Sad is a long word,
And it means things, some of us
Don't know how to explain.
So, lets try one more time,
Another round, for the couple of the year.
Dithers, and high high Hithers,
they may come and go,
For all I know, I'll be where you are.

If your voice was an island,
it wouldn't be Hawaii,
even with your warm breath and your soft touch,
it would be more like Iceland.
Your durable skin, and your sturdy mind,
your voice would be Iceland.
It cools me down, and it sometimes heats me up.
Much like a candle our love flickers and shines,
but it can also burn and hurt.
People always say love grows over distance,
but sometimes the distance grows to stress,
and sometimes the stress can grow into an island
and your relationship winds up being two beaches that never meet.
But our love will not do that.
Our love, will grow the forest in between,
our love will sustain.
Our love, will become like a statue
that doesn't wear like the greek ruins
or turn colors like the Liberty.
Although, right now it is just as simple as a daisy,
anything can destruct it, or simply pick it,
but nothing has, and soon we will grow into a field,
and others will look and see our love is
warm, soft, durable, and sturdy.

What tastes salty?
Obviously potato chips.
Obviously a Californa girls hips.
Your lips after your tears
What tastes sweet?
Obviously the candy shop
Obviously an affair with a cop.
Your kisses in the morning
What tastes refreshing?
Obviously a cup of water.
Obviously a spring from the Alps.
Your skin in the shower.
Move me like the music and the rhythm.
Mold me like the sculptor and the ceramics.
My mistakes I have always shown on the surface,
But yours you have hidden deep beneath the sea.
These little black submarines,
They show in the shallows.
From encased in the hands of the small bird
that sits on your brain stem all day;
a little hope comes of me.
Or at least I muse it would.
I dream of you the whole night through,
and when winter comes I still dream of you.
And when age comes I still dream of you.
And when death comes to you, I still dream of you.
And in death I will come to meet the true you.
Don't take that the wrong way,
no one is behind me to back me up on this,
but you always say I don't know you,
believe me I really try too.
If you ever flew,
I would go with you
and the little birds would carry me through.

Although my soul wanders
Although my heart is searching
Although my eyes are unfixed
Although my breathing is heavy
I will stay concentrated.
The goal
The outcome
The final walk
I will stay focused.
The pressure and stress
Build and build.
The trees of fear
Grow and grow.
The doubt of a cloud
Storm and storm.
Yet keep me focused on you.

the melodramatic beating
of one in the next room breathing
in-out-in-out-
it makes the house
have a pulse,
that kieeps you up for hours
until your body shuts down,
your eyes shut,
and the beating, breathing,
is simply your heart
giving you a rhythm
to your dreams.
when the moons amber liquidness
melts into your house
through the windows and forgotten unlocked doors,
filling it and making itself into pictures
and hanging around, of old memories,
in broken flames and broken clocks.
clocks clocks, tick tok tick tok...
didnt you ever think clocks want a different beat.
havent you heard, rabbits and turttles,
can fall in love too?
dont you ever consider
the possibility, that it is not
going to work out?
that things in this world,
dont go smoothly.
that is still no reason
to give up.
find a different beat,
find a new lover,
just dont leave,
just dont give up.

Make me your Pygmalion Statue,
while this love is running warm in my veins.
While the blood is warm,
make me so I will never change.
I love you so,
I want to please.
Make me your statue for
fear of loosing you is a strange thing.

Oh wild rose tainted
Someone shining a flashlight on you
searching for your flaws and losses,
and your doing a good job of hiding them.
But your not blooming to your fullest,
staying as a bud wont get you no where.
So the flashlight moves on.
And because you didn't open the spot light goes on.
Your name has its own hidden exclamation point,
and your additude is full of sass and class.
Baby don't let the lies of this world
tear and destruct you.
Let the emptiness of this world
fill you, and show you things
that cant be with out your imagination.
Baby, don't get down by the peoples expectations,
because if you do, your own expectations will go out the window.
Be free little rose,
but don't become lost on your road in freedom.
However, my arms and heart are always open for you.

"If we were young, we would rise and dance."
spoken like a true poet Daisy,
I always knew you were the one for Gatsby.
But, I have one request,
where is my millionaire??
Do you have some Gatsby to share?
How come my lonely nights,
are never like the stories that I read?
like the snow on my windshield,
the future feels heavy and light.
hooks and threads weave in and out
wrapping my 18 year story into
one pretty bow.
Someday I hope to be,
that green light some "Gatsby" sees
across the ocean and far away-
is where I am going to stay-
until then, I will be a fool,
that's the best thing a girl can be in this world,
a beautiful little fool.

Here in my,
Candyland,
This Snickers Bar,
it satisfies,
but it certainly doesnt,
sustain.
Much like a man
who loves you, one summer,
but as winter comes,
he goes,
with the leaves.
I keep talking,
thinking, and
repeating,
"guys leave me."
like a baby,
with nothing to do but cry.
I have left,
my fair share,
broken hearts at least once.
And I'm about,
to do it again.

The imprints on this page
from the memories before
The finger prints left
of the lives before,
everything is done for something.
I'm trapped in my own world,
but its so comfortable,
my brain doesn't tell
the feet they will be walking tomorrow.
Tomorrow may bring more drama,
Tomorrow will bring more death,
Ugh, more drama from death,
and still no one to show, true sadness,
The age for dying
at least in this FoCo town,
is younger and younger.
The heart beats of humanity
its all nonsense, its only nonsense
getting in these horrible routines-
these horrible stereotypes-
this routine of instant love-
becomes, instant forget-
this stereotype of Christian-
becomes "Go to church".
I will drive and wait for a storm
to come and take us all away-
until I realize,
once you find your true friends
nothing seems so scary.
I am crying with my pillow,
I am laughing with my tears,
I am singing with my hands,
I am praying to my Lord-
all the sound my heart can make-
except the-
lub
dub
lub
dub
heart lungs brain, smiles.
Smile... all I ever wanted-
was to be your smile
But I'll leave and be someone elses-
I am not the hound that hunts,
but the one who fills the cry.
Is it depressing?- or Inspirational-
the people live like they could die-
tomorrow.
tomorrow is Thursday,
another day to be "christian"-
in this world everyone is
"christian".
Christianity is all eagles and wings and lions,
but really, I just am lyin'-
to my family, to my friends-
but wouldn't it be worse for I to lie-
to me, than anyone else?
finally all my thoughts-
down and out.

Sometimes i wonder how it would feel,
just to be a bubble.
A bubble in your bath,
a bubble blown from a stick,
a bubble of gum,
an bubble of little kids under water.
So easy and careless,
not knowing when they will cease,
it could happen to them it could happen to me.
I realize I am a bubble.
sometimes I am a smelly bubble,
sometimes I bring a smile.
sometimes I'm a bubble in a tub,
sometimes I'm the hiccup at the local pub.
And I just think how lucky bubbles are,
they don't ever grow tired.
But my eyelids are heavy,
maybe thats just from the make up i wear.
But my brain is tired,
maybe thats just the thoughts racing around.
Time to rest, time to go,
although,
I never will know, how a bubble feels.

Drink you in my tea tomorrow
I dont mind waiting for you.
Even with my boots full of snow,
Baby, I'm yours lets go!
Take my hand,
and just listen to the band,
the sea and the sand.
This ring on my finger,
it never wieghed me down.
I have heard your voice on a payphone,
I have heard your voice in distress.
I have heard your voice
through my tears, and your tears.
I have heard your voice in love.
But never have I heard your voice in Hate.

I am rich in love,
I am poor in money.
I am ***** in cowgirl boots,
I am clean in high heels.
But enough about me,
what about you?
You are strong in wisdom,
and strong in arms.
Your opinion counts,
even though I hate it sometimes.
You can draw anything,
you can imagine even more.
You told me lies,
that I still believe today.
I love you all the time,
but I only like you sometimes.
You are like an old lab,
and I am a puppy.
This poem isn't for a lover,
it is for you,
Kirk.
My older brother,
the one who is annoyingly,
always right.

If our love was a sticky note,
it would be sky blue.
It would have a lot of notes, and stories on it.
It would still have room for more.
It would be still sticky,
and it would be stuck where I could always see it.
It would follow me around like a bad penny.
If our love was a pen,
it would have forever lasting ink.
It would have written this poem.
It would be dark black, and wet
with dripping love.
If our love was a text...
Well, you hate texting so never mind.
If our love was a sticky note though,
It wouldn't burn in the fire,
but it would be able to start one.
Our love, doesn't fade,
and my love for you grows
day by day.
However, our love is not a sticky note,
or a pen,
or a text.
It is much more than that.
It is expressive, and not dismissive.
It is colorful,
and has many stories involved in it.
It is going to have more stories.
It is on my phone, it is in my bed, I can see it everywhere.
It follows me around like a bad penny.
It is everlasting,
and it is as tangible as the perfect poem.
Our love can get dripping wet sometimes,
and it is usually overflowing.
It doesn't give up in the fire of a fight,
But it starts the desire of one.
I don't know how else to say it,
but we will fight the odds, and make the playoffs,
we will go through hard and nice strolls in the park.
Life and love are officially intertwined in
our two bodies.

Any other guy,
would not put up with me.
Any other guy,
would not have protected me
        from themselves.
Any other guy,
would have took me and thrown me away.
Any other guy baby.... any other...
but you are not any other
you play guitar,
You are very way to tough
you have the confidence of a
well known MMA fighter.
how come we ever fight?
how come we ever think of breaking up?
how could we?
this relationship is you and me,
and everyone and their opions can just...
leave!

my dreams take me to places i want to be.
or dont want to be. but i can be me.
there everything is clearer. the air is free and my worries are lifted. i
dont want to come down. but the 'mares come in,
and take me down, but make me stronger.
like in life when the tides come in
and you want to go,
but your stuck like a crab and moving slow.
you get up off your feet
and you make a beat
to the hearts you loved
and the tracks you leave.
leave the basement of your house,
to find a new world
out from under the romote.
the tv is off,
the music is up,
the windows are down,
and the life is strong.
sometimes things knock you down
but the devil cant go to heaven.
you just got to strive
for the goal,
keep living for the dream.
and never stop till you stretch and
reach for that ultimate high.
get the quick fix and more goes than comes.
people die thats why we meet new ones.
to keep us moving from place to place
just trying to find your worth in this world.
in the rain when it pours down into the mind,
feeding the soul and letting it grow.
grow into a flower to show the passion
and love for another. we are all connected
through someone we see or meet or hope to help,
on the side walk we walk and pass
by the people in need with
no shelter except the box that
we once used to ship our expensive gifts in.
now living in that box no food or drink or government help,
and we judge. we judge the people in the street
we judge the people we never meet.
and who gave us that position? to play chess when the game is
hanging on your ribs
just weighing down with so much stress.
and so we confess
the sins we didn't know where there.
we say things we didn't think,
we do things we didn't mean
we don't like our lives the lives that aren't ours
and the beat of the sirens
following me
i grew up in the side alleys and back ways
of my mind.
i brag
about my problems and my achievements are small
but really i just want it all.
to come back to me for the
attention and scenes that i play.
i have no fear or diseases
or grow near to death, because i have already reached it.
the ****** the end,
the story the middle,
and beginning we read
to get us into what we've scene
the imagination it leaps and jumps off buildings
to high to reach.
i'm a kid and i cant see,
whats up there thats so great for me?
always one more thing that we just cant get passed
to see what we
have is right in front of us.
and we don't have to stop.
because we keep the books we read
and the movies we see
in dusty boxes and call it good
good for who? just you?
judging someone different and new,
like the Ku klux **** who never knew
the people the slaughtered
and abused and embarrassed.
the people keep on fighting
and running toward the pain to prove to the point.
that we all have the chance to
strive and glide like skaters on ice,
till we reach the end of the rink...
getting tired of the circles we run
in middle class
upper class
lower class.
***** the class,
who put a label on you?

Everyday I come home with weary feet,
and I always think,
It must be that fateful brick,
I carry it with me,
day and night. This brick however,
is apart from others.
It has been pounded and formed
to my jobs, my faliures,
my small stresses that form to a giant knot.
feet dont fail me now,
I believe we still have a long ways together.
The days go by slow, and the time builds up.
The dark circles in my eyes, eco my life.
Streatching out the knots, holding the positions
does nothing. But help.
Thank God for stress, or else we would never have
the feeling
of relief.

These October days,
Filled with leaves and silence,
I need to learn how to write,
In happiness.
Poetry gets my feelings on the page,
Something I lost when I started with you.
My feelings all go on to
Riley.
I am sorry but for most of my life,
I haven’t been as happy as I am with you.
So my poetry has all been blue.
Life has ups and downs,
It just so happens everyone has left me down trodden.
My love, I am not mad my poetry has gotten less and less,
Its that I feel bad all my anger appears on my skin.
My love for you has grown and grown,
And all I do to show that is moan and groan.
My heart can take so much pain,
And with you its all whipped away.
My love, what I am trying to say,
Is that you and me
IS my poetry.
I write it on my heart and on yours,
But now I am going to try to write happy poetry
So I can show,
That with you my heart always glows.

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
It tastes like I'm ******* on pennies,
It feels like a broken air conditioner.
It views like rain on a windshield,
It sounds like instant love, instant forget.
But how could you just move on?
What did you get from this anyways,
just another to add on your list of cast aways?
I dont know what it all means,
but i can tell you, I don't feel very clean.
I dont know why, when i see you
I'm instantly formed into someone new.
I loved being with you, and finding new things,
but now I am feeling, winter inside when it brings,
cold, and no good for me.
Before the winter, you were the fall,
the fall leaves,
they are are taking back all my memories.
All the times things were good with you,
you wrote me a story and a poem or two.
But then comes the bad forgotten bits,
of how you were when you had little fits.
Not holding my hand, unless you wanted too,
Not kissing my lips, i didn't do my hair.
How come we only touched, if under your command,
but oh, how i miss the touch of your hand.
How i miss talking to you,
the sparks they flew, but only in my head
you didn't see them, you didn't have a clue.
And i just keep thinking, all the things we said.
Well, things that chapped my lips,
they had never been said, until my thoughts eclipsed.
I opened up, and let you in both mentally and physically,
I thought we moved together so fittingly.
Apparently, it was only me,
who saw the good, and ignored the bad,
you said, "I cant do that", and we left so sad.
That night I was up tossing and turning,
the words I should have said were yurning!
How come this wedge was drove between us,
I'm sorry for that and all the fuss.
It wasn't worth ever loosing what we had,
Really this all is driving me quiet mad!
The words unspoken, and gone unnoticed,
I think now I can see your clear motives.
No need to assume here, you always said you cared,
I'll take your word for it, but I shouldn't have shared,
somethings are meant to be mine, and not taken,
but, you helped my heart become reawakened.
But, I'll move out of the way for you,
I'll move out of the way for your dreams too.
However, Gosh, there is no need to run,
this thing we have is so overdone.
Our personalities may clash,
there is no need to act so brash.
Sometimes I wonder, who is the younger?
Because based on our equal hunger;
to learn,
               to feel,
                            to go,
                                        to discover,
we really should put our age undercover.
Maybe I am the child
to think that you wanted me, it seems so wild.
Or maybe you are the child,
you always were a bit more wild.
Dont take this verse in the wrong,
I'm only trying to move forward, and be strong.
Hello? You taught me being young at heart,
would help the mind and Spirit, become like art;
Free, and careless, and no regrets,
thats how I remember "us", don't forget.
You said, that I need to live a couple year, I need to grow,
and learn on my own how to sow,
advance my decisions, beliefs, and ideas-
Get out of the house, run like North Korea.
Thank you a lot helping me through,
all the different times life becomes askew.
Sad to say I still sort of like you,
Sad to say its only me, I'm sorry, I had too!-
Write this poem for, unworthy you.

You told me, before you left,
to do something different and crazy.
Oh, honey... You have no clue,
what you inspired me to do.
I will dive off a tall ledge,
you were always so afraid being close to the edge
in reality its only a small ridge.
I will dye my hair, a deep red
always something I wanted to do,
but, of course you didn't want me too.
Maybe I will even get dreads,
(okay I would probably never do that to my head
but I do like it on other people).
I will pierce my nose,
just so that it shows.
I will pierce my belly-button,
because I know you liked that a ton.
I will dive into the deep end of the pool,
and I will think I'm just so cool,
with out you.
I will run away to a different state,
plan my own fate,
I refuse to any longer, wait.
I can do all this, and have nothing to loose,
its not like I'm ever going back to you.

we hide...
we hide behind earrings and lace
we hide behind our pretty face.
we hide in nature
we hide behind Atomic Bombs.
we hide behind our families,
we hide behind great victories
we hide behind coats,
we hide behind profound uplifting quotes.
we hide behind diamonds and wine.
we hide behind picture perfect books.
we hide behind our steady calm outside,
we hide behind our beating brave hearts.
we hide behind our embarrassing defeats.
we try to hide in corners but dont fit
we hide in darkness.
we hide in big churches with rehearsed songs,
we hide behind shot guns that sometimes fire back.
sometimes we hide from love...
we hide in music,
we hide by running away
we hide from fear and hate,
we hide ourselves in old memories.

I want to settle down,
wont you settle down with me??
the man of my dreams,
he is tall and strong,
he is Check,
and from California.
He wants to major in English,
and become a teacher,
he loves his family,
and especially his sister.
he can draw... stick figures.
he is witty, and suitable for me.
but you,
you are better than the man of my dreams.
you are better,
because you are real.
i can hold you,
i can kiss you,
i can see your blemishes and scars,
and they make you
better,
because they make you real.

We search for the secret places,
we make special places,
and we long for more places to go.
We have the privacy of
our own backyards,
and resort to the privacy of
our own closets,
and retreat to the privacy of
our own minds.
The darkest of secrets is shared
with nothing;
But our own private selves.

this really isnt a love poem,
Poems of love are never really,
really about any 18 of them.
them boys i used to love,
I loved boys and was so fond of.
of bad something always happened,
it happened weather it was them or me.
me, myself, and i wrote this poem about  one,
one who is not gone,
gone in person, but not from my heart
my heart and I start:
I miss your big hands roaming on my skin.
my skin? I miss your smell.
smell of your breath and sound of your voice
voice soothing over mine.
mine and your warmth could heat the world.
my world was full,
full of, miss.
I miss.

Covered in love
straight from above
but love turns
to aches, burns
our hearts empty
where Satans tempting
of wanting more
than evver before
ship wreck shore.
spinning, spinning, motions
sweet soft lotions
turn to ball rooms
then come fumes
crystal mixed limes
shattered with crims
you turn to theft
we never left,
ship wreck shore.
i get lost
windows covered frost
green peering eyes
innocent of lies
you finally beaten
my heart, defeated
but maybe more,
ship wreck shore.
from this far
it seems hard
at first glance
boats are ants
trees are swaying
from our music playing
pens filling pages
my love cages
wanting to love more
on ship wreck shore.

music enters my mind
words come out
spill on this paper
bleed onto my hands
work on your body,
work in the shop
drop
       drop
              drop
that gotdame weight,
sorry i don't use Gods name
in vein,
in my viens, you'll see my blue blood side.
Come deeper into my lungs,
you'll see my deep breathing sacs.
Dont go deeper, you'll see my brain
my thoughts
                      my words
                                        my-my-my-
mine. Those words are mine,
and they will stay that way
until I decide when is best to tell you.
Tell you, feel you, I wont use you.
Don't fear the love given upon you.
Music repeating
to keep the beating,
MIA. What? you've never seen me in action?
or is it missing in action?
Do those mean the same thing?
What about Heaven and Hell,
Do those mean the same thing?
One can't exist without the other, so
I guess so.
I stand on my on guesses,
you can persuade me easily,
if you have hard evidence that means something.
Don't waste my time,
I'm on a schedule.
Interrupt and you'll be sorry.
But I invited you, remember?
I said to come swim in my veins,
that doesn't mean I'll let you out though.
Be careful, once your in there,
It's hard to come unattached to some
one big eyed, big sass, big assed
as me.
Opps, dont like my language?
To bad for you, I'm not sorry,
You must have just been overprotected
and under responded too.
Honey, I do what I want with your permission or not.
Don't do that, it makes me too hot.
Dance
          dance
                      dance
like the world is ending.
Jump on my shoulders lets go for a ride.
AK-47, you know what that means?
It means, I got one and you don't,
It means don't **** around.
Love me or don't.
Don't string me like some puppet.
I'll rip through your mastery,
and show the world the fake you are.
Be you,
and see that really,
your not as bad as me.

I'm single,
I'm pale.
I'm cold,
and I'm ready.
Summer, Summer,
you make everything more... "yummier"
*** is hotter in summer.
your full of vacations,
your full of adventure.
I feel my age in summer.
Right now its winter,
and I can hardly stand,
this thing called snow,
and this horrible thing that blows.
Dear Wind, do what you do best,
and blow yourself;
and leave me and my hair be!
Summer, Summer,
you make my lips more wet,
than a boy with a *****.
Summer, Summer,
I cant wait for your fruit,
I cant wait for your tan,
I want to swim,
and dry out on the grass.
Summer, Summer,
come quicker.

where does the snow go in the summer?
does it melt into the grass and stay till next winter?
does it evaporate and go into our minds till next winter?
does it stay chilled deep in our bones till next winter?
where do the birds go in the spring?
do they fly away for another day?
do the go to let other people see their beauty?
do the leave for our imaginations to wander and wander?
where do the old leaves go in the summer?
do they disintegrate into the sidewalk for us to have a lighter step?
do they disguise themselves so we wont see till next year?
do they forget about us, like we do about them?

These painted butterfly wings,
won't get me very far,
and all of the trinkets and things
bring back memories of scars.
These middle school paper plains,
won't life me very high,
and all of these photos bring shame.
What weighs me down are the lies.
Inner beauty, and we still judge the cover,
read the Bible and follow rules,
**** all the boys and still looking for "One Lover"
love is cheap but I'm in for the jewles.
Like to much meat for one man to eat,
we bite off more than we can chew,
we always find some way to cheat.
Don't think I'm accusing you,
I'm just as deep in these worldly lies.
The only difference is I look past the smog,
I fly and go so high,
I'm out of the sickly fog.

But these egale feathers
that grow under our skin,
someday with show,
and lift us far from
the life we live and
bring us to the life we choose.
Dress nice,
Dance *****.
My baby please dont leave me.
I've lost you once, I cant go again.
Abraham and Issac
one control, one for fear.
Funny, with us it always,
goes goes goes to the bible.
Take the fear,
that holds us back,
put it in a cages,
and throw it to the stars.
Make your wish
as it flies by
the planets moon.
I hold on to you
Neptune, big and blue.

La-La-La-La-
choices, choices,
these flowers are hurting,
from the petals I am taking.
This back and forth,
making want to go North?
No, I'll stay, soak,
maybe smoke some some some dope.
Nope!
I want to make the change,
but I seem to be chained.
No ones help, No thanks,
I got this on my own,
I'm strong enough thank you.
This "I'm waiting" ring,
is making me tighter and tighter,
and he certainly is a fighter.
Call me Paul Bun-yun
I do what I want, young-
certainly until I'm dead.
******* stop messing with my head.
No easy fix,
this is going to take,
more than a couple cool trix.
I, like fingers in my mouth,
feeling ****, salty, and sweet.
*****, stay back if you don't want me;
(Opps,) on you.
Dancing away the mess,
in my now torn dress.
Stay back, I'm here-
To shake the world-
Gently,
                 is the last thing,
                                   on my mind,
                                                in my mouth,
                                                          ­  of my few words.

i am strong in my faith,
i am strong in my personality.
i am strong in my body,
i am weak in my views,
persuade me easily.  
i am weak in my head,
use me easily.
i am alive in my spirit,
i am alive in the summer.
i am alive and breath air,
i am dead to the world,
no one knows me inside and out.
i am dead in the winter,
the cold shuts me in, leaves the cold out.
i am this and i could be that.
i am sleepy at night, and awake in the mornings.
i love the music when i'm happy,
i hear the words when i'm sad.
i want to live,
but i live with ghosts.
i want to grow,
but i grew my height in 6th grade.
i am a worshiper,
i am a curser.
i do what i want,
and usually dont think first.
but, you still don't know
who i am.

Uh-Oh... I think it's happening.
These words of deep waters,
they are waving out of my being,
wetting this paper down.
I think it's happening.
These words of shallow air,
they are breezing out of my mind,
cooling this paper down.
I think, IT'S happening.
These ghosts without bed sheets,
they become real and real and real,
goose-bumping my flesh.
What? What is happening?
We fit perfectly together,
Thats whats happening.
These words of cliche phrases,
they are stereotyping my love,
packing it into penmanship on this paper.
I don't care if our love is cliche,
its real.
I don't care if our love is judged,
it holds true.
We can make it through,
If you trust in me, and I in you.
You can't catch me,
But you can dip me,
while we dance this race away.
Waste away time with me,
And something tells me,
we are on to something good.

Small Emergency Stop button
on my treadmill every mornin,
you grow and grow
as I run and run.
The two escapes I have,
running, writing.
Emergency Buttons are only helpful
on treadmills.
even if life had an emergency stop
would you really use it?
Would you or I really give up fall days?
what about summer rays?
what about the animals of the sea,
and what about the special he or she?
Honey, I would never Stop
this life I got,
I'm finally getting it figured out.
Not saying I don't get stressed out.
I do fuss and cry about,
silly things that in the end,
where literally not worth my time.
Emergency stop, where is your
pull now? Where is my want towards you now?
Emergency Go, where are you?
This treadmill is working, but I'm not going
anywhere, I'm hardly even showing,
signs of improving.
Improving this love,
to grow, while in the wild.
I wanted to say I love you, but couldn't,
so it just hurt more.
and now, I am solving my problems
looking at a Emergency stop button.
Treadmill you wont defeat my problems,
but you do defeat my stressors.
I have you back now, and so I don't care
where we end up. As long as its far from,
Emergency Stop.

Seems like there's always
someone who disapproves,
they judge us like they know
how we used to steal
your parents liquor
and climb to the roof,
we will keep all our promises
be us against the world,
baby, be mind tonight,
say yes,
if you get this kind of rush
every time we touch.
who will love you?
who will fight?
who will fall far behind?
i dont want to be someone,
who walks away so easily,
i'm here to stay.
make the difference i can make,
marmalade, we're makin out,
dont make me tongue tied,
when i look into your eyes
its like watching the night sky,
or a beautiful sunrise.
oh, your a shooting star,
like Peter Pan up in the sky,
these lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
my eyes on your eyes
dont wave no good bye,
my, green eyes,
your the one i wanted to find,
anyone to deny you
is out of their mind.
honey, you should know
i could never go with out you;
i could write a song,
a hundred miles long,
talk about our future like we had a clue,
but i will be your girl,
thats where i belong,
here in your arms,
and you belong with me.
not swallowed by the sea.
the water is rough,
the stakes are high,
but this love is ours,
you cant replace it with a million rings.
i have died everyday,
just waitng for you,
Darling don't be afraid
i came here with a load
and it feels so much lighter
now that i met you,
one step closer
honey you should know
i have loved you for a thousand years
i could never go on
with out you.

Is this really all I have-
to look forward too-
my Starbucks coffee-
my cold hard run every morning?
to wake me up,
and let me know,
I'm still alive.
how sad I must be!
But it is me
who keeps finding the trap door,
and opening the door,
and stepping back
and getting a running start.
it isn't anyone but I
in this dark room
falling deeper and deeper in this gloom
time to climb out,
one level at a time,
until I again am mine.

Free or Restrained?
Free from drugs and drinking
Restrained from friends.
Judgemental or judged?
Judgemental for my Christian views,
Judged by the way others view Christians.
Growing or Grown?
Growing in maturity,
Grown 5 feet tall.
**** or played?
**** for 25 kisses,
played by 25 boys.
Rich or poor?
Rich in love,
Poor in money.
Taken or single?
Taken in love,
Single independence.

Decision, decisions, decisions,
their running me weary,
my legs say "stop" and my heart beats "no",
my brain is detecting fear.
When did my future and I become so low?
Harmony and peace and happiness are so far from me,
Out of reach, my hands grasps but no climbing is made.
I keep thinking, at the top I'll see!
but branch by branch my view fades.
Climbing but coming to no end
running but no gain.
My whole world is spinning and blending.
All that is coming out is pain.
Its time to change, to grasp my happiness again.
Its time to start myself on the path of amends
This time all I need is God at my aid.
I will keep climbing, no matter my tire, I want to see
what this mass world has for me, to help me grow.
Everyone near me, be on your toes.
For soon I will be transformed to my most pure self,
happiness again.

Be careful who you tell empty promises too.
I'm afraid I've heard one to many from you
and from him and from him before that.
These lost words of living up to your word
decay
day by day.
Hit me up if you'd like, but don't tell me you will
when you know you won't.
I'd love to love you, I'd love to hold your hand.
Thats a promise I'd love to keep,
   if you'd ever let me.
I just wanted a friend. I just wanted to spend some time with you.
So, Mr. Starbux-Colorado-Patagonia man,
I'd love to live up to my promises
if you'd ever live up to yours.