Every day as the sun rose
the sand sparkled like broken glass and salt

The ocean saw how the sand sparkled
and collapsed on top of it
A steady hush and hiss with every attempt
No one ever wondered why the ocean sounded like that
Like a fatigued Darth Vader

The ocean was sick
The ocean felt lonely
It is hard to have a body that big
to ever feel full

One day people came to swim
They did not swim like the animals did
The animals swam naturally
No one ever notices the way their own blood
pumps inside their veins
so much that they are happy being alive

The people splashed awkward
Stood sometimes letting their toes
graze the sea floor
This made the sea happy
But the people who were not of the sea
grew tired
and started for the sand

The sea became upset that they were leaving
and created a wave so big
it pulled the people back inside of it
A crash that sounded like lung cancer
A heave skipping the heart a beat
One that begs for any kind of breath

The ocean felt the people splashing hard
Fighting for land
It felt good

Eventually
They slowed
Gave up
And drowned

The ocean was lonely again

It calmly wheezed
at the shiny sand

Even in complete darkness
there is no chance

Beer and benedyrl
like a pink and white bumble bee sting
only adds to the heaviness

So I do what used to help
Think about what my arms are missing

back of neck
a stomach
and my fingertips in slow circles

The weight against me

Right now I feel that heavy

In times like this
the only way to fall asleep
is to give up entirely that you are going to sleep

Then morning comes
and so does rest

I wanted to give him a home
Though I didn't really know what that was.
He didn't feel safe
And I didn't feel safe
And it just seemed to make sense
For me to wrap around him
And shelter him with my hands
To bend backwards, twisting over him
To become walls and windows and fences
And to keep him safe within me
To become for him a home.

There were nights he would cry
And shake against me
And repeat that he could not measure up
To the house I'd built
To the home
And I hushed his cries
For his sake and mine.

I just wanted to give him a home.

do I really care about you?

authentically

no, but I would still kiss away a perpetual need
of some kind of

more
I would kiss away the perpetual need of more of my kisses, even
until they became ripe in your circulation

without your tact

like the first time an apple becomes an apple
without knowing it’s an apple

ripe

raw, sweet

without tact

without my tact
would I really care about you?

I’ve been on the floor bathing in dishrags and dust particles
I feel filthy
troublesome and unwanted

I’ve lost faith in succeeding
all I’ve got is gritty tact, sticking to its guns

do I really care about myself?
no,

but still, I would kiss away someone else’s pain to have a purpose
and I would love them in a moment  

even if I wasn’t loved in return

do you(dust)feelemptytinglingD
                                                     u
                                                        s

                                                 t

do you feel elegant quivering elatedU


                                            S



                                                                  T


in pale and in comely glued arrivers
sharp straight white.do you feel cool
touched (your shoulders nape sternum
) brushed gentler climbing rapidly
quivers AND u            s                                                  t


do you whorl 'pon my palm?as presses
through your body its kiss fastly andUST

do you know, between light and darkness,
FLESH?
                 do

         you

                   know

      lilting


                     fl

              utt

                        er

         a
         n
         d

                                         hush?


(you know.

                        as know i.


                                                         you)