your tears have fallen at bay
and so has the rain.
sudden comfort has overcome you;
there's warmth in your
heart once more.
as you light up another cigarette,
your thoughts race.
you take the first drag
and let out a puff of smoke
that lingers in the air for a
few moments, then disappears.
you've let the past memories go,
and now new memories
begin to show their faces.
a breeze comes in through the
open window and chills you slightly.
the breeze has begun to pick
up speed and becomes a gust of wind;
it feels nice.
you look into the mirror to only
see how terrible you look;
you've cried all of your makeup
off and your eyes remain puffy
and red from all of the tears.
you put your cigarette out
and watch as the smoke rises
up and floats out of the
window and into the wind.
you've come to the realization
that you've been living in your past,
and that you've been locked inside
your own prison; a prison of memories.

I want happiness
to invade my life.
fill my heart
and never leave.
if only I could freeze
time itself or go back
and live the good times
over again.
wanting and needing
are two completely
different things.
I want happiness
and I need it as well.
I've become blind to
love; everyone that
says they love me
all seem to lie.
that's why I say:
someone,
anyone
save me,
please.

"do hearts often break once they've stopped beating?" - Corpse Bride

shock throws you off balance
and tears have blinded your eyes
your lips are pursed,
as if you're about to speak.
just silence.
his lips are moving,
but you hear nothing.
he's reaching for you,
to tell you how sorry he is,
but you feel no touch,
no warmth of his hands,
just shock.
confusion is coming
at you at light speed.
it hits you and so
does the hurt feeling
in your heart.
it feels like you've just
been hit by a MAC truck.

if only I could just
keep the memories at bay,
then I could forget the
time you confessed your
love for me over the
static of the phone.
there are no pills to
keep my sanity, only
crimson gashes stringing
along both of my wrists.
you used to call me
beautiful-gorgeous;
before, it'd make my
heart skip beats.
now, it just stops beating.

emptiness surrounds me
completely and entirely.
I feel utterly alone even
though I am surrounded by
a group of people.
lost in thought,
all I hear is silence
and the buzzing of the
fluorescent lights overhead.
I focus on the pain in
my wrist and the ache
that forever lingers in my chest.
exhaustion has become
overpowering, making it
difficult to concentrate.
the vast emptiness
of my life grows larger.
all I wanted was
someone to catch my fall.

"dark blue, dark blue, have you ever felt alone in a crowded room?" - Jack's Mannequin

pretending to be someone
who you know you're not.
always having to fake
a smile and a few laughs.
you wear a mask,
called happiness,
just to try to fit in
with the everyday crowd.
his love for you is
written all over your face.
try to escape; run away.
stop pretending.
the bruises will stop.

paper flowers.
mascara smeared eyes.
racing down the
streets and avenues
of your life.
panic, attacks from
every direction.
battered hearts fly away.
there's a moonlit
rainbow in the dark.
pop the pills for the
sweet ****** high.
bound together by
sweet addiction.
take an injection of
liquid nicotine and
mix it with a drink.
infatuation overcomes.
butterfly nightmares,
flutter through the night.
running, alone, sheltered
by the dark of the night.