the humble priest who, clothed in black and drab
old moth-holed garb and well-worn holy shoes,
saw yellow-orange men with breath infused
survive while hammered under concrete slabs,

adorned with seizure's scrapes and new dried scab,
a monk's black cap and simple wooden cross,
from Shaolin's breath could not be pushed or tossed,
or even budged when by his arm was grabbed,

then one whose throat withstood the point of spear,
did ask the priest what powers blocked his chi,
the humble priest explained and this he said,

"from chi's destructive force i had no fear,
for i did what you could not hear or see,
recite the name of One raised from the dead"

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

in recess, children walking 'bout the yard,
are playing, chatting, sitting round in groups,
declaring statements, all without regard
to hands on basketballs and hula hoops,

their promises to one another, found
expressed in ways most dear to their own care,
the boys do carve their words into the ground,
the girls do whisper them into the air,

in twenty years when all, then grown, return,
recalling promises so far gone made,
how will they recollect, will they discern
the choices memory has wiped to fade?

the boys will find their fossils waiting there,
the girls will find a silence in the air

(C)2011, Christos Rigakos

their warm arterial embrace was ripped
the day you tore your heart from mine, it died
alone, its beating stopped where once it skipped,
it withered in its solitude and dried,

now pluck this deadened fruit from out its vine,
and crush it into powder fine and white,
from purity of love it is refined,
a remnant of my love unspoiled, zinc bright,

freebase it and inject it in your veins,
or mix with water, drink it as an ale,
or snort it yet don't leave a single grain,
or nebulize it, deeply do inhale,

my essence seeks to once more be a part
in some way with your unforgiving heart

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

The jolly fat woman who rode on a horse,
     galloped, galloped with a clackity-clack,
     on cobble stone streets as if under attack,
     from her great hunger pangs, of course.
It galloped and galloped until a great crack
     was felt and a screeching loud neigh was heard,
     that startled to pitch-panicked flight every bird,
     throwing the fat off its back.
She rose from the mud to wipe off and gird
     her honor back onto her jiggling *****,
     then ran to the inn where she haggled with fulsome,
     for a bowl of hot fish soup with curd.
She gained two more stone in her gluttonous course,
then haggled at stables for a much stronger horse.

(C)2018, Christos Rigakos

the last red balloon
from your last birthday party
now deflated
i slump in my chair
staring at your pictures

(C)2001, Christos Rigakos

Oh foolish man, do recognize your place,
Has changed, and what is now's no more as then.
She's planning to estrange her passion when,
She tells you solemnly she needs some space.

Do not agree, for it is not the case,
That she will merely wait within her den,
Return to you upon the count to ten.
Do not let go, and if you have, give chase!

For in that space of time you'd be apart,
She'll seek her courage, muster what she can,
To overcome the love, do what she ought,

And unobstructed, strangle her own heart,
Untethering to meet another man,
And render you a silent afterthought!

16:29, 3/23/2014

I often stare into the sky at shadows on the moon,
with my attention fullest on the days of the full moon.

Discerning craters, mountains on its dusty pockmarked face,
that glows when sun stares winking flares upon the blushing moon.

I squint to find the waveless flag, the rover parked somewhere,
discarded by the shiny humans come to greet the moon.

Her light gives sight so subtle as to soothe and not disturb
circadians whose radians are rhythms of the moon.

Tree silhouettes' slow pirouettes sway by the summer breeze,
bathed in the sun's own afterglow under the watchful moon.

Imagining the lunacy of werewolves in the night
who, bathed in glow, to dogs they go a howling at the moon.

While all around the nightsong sounds in symphony they croon
the ballades of the wonder of the lighted sky queen moon.

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

The normal way of life is such:
          the old give way to young.
To understand does not take much,
          explained in simple tongue:
Adults that love do procreate.
Their selves they form and replicate,
          continuing the song which they have sung.

The first into the world are first
          to leave the world behind.
They dry and shrivel in their thirst,
          are ground to dust and rind.
They find their solace in their spawn,
inside whose flesh they carry on
          their signatures, in place of their old mind.

The next await their counted turn,
          with shovel at the hand;
enjoy the lives which must adjourn
          into the unseen land.
Then find a mate to spawn their own,
before their own flesh from the bone
          departs into the dryness of the sand.

Yet once upon a blood red moon,
          the normalcy defers.
The next in line depart too soon,
          in snares of life's dark lures.
The first must intern on the shelves
of crypts the flesh that holds their selves,
          and taste what to the next this life confers.


(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

tickling
squirm and giggle
lead to grabbing hands and
holding hands and stares while drawing
nearer

the eyes
draw faces close
before the hungry kiss
and held hands release to embrace
with fire

the kiss
now ended nice
recalling the tickling
realizing it wont work again
that's past

(C)2002, Christos Rigakos

there is a blight upon the earth, it bears a name,
it draws in air much better used by worthy men,
my namesake drains the sea, the manner is the same,
the food it wastes through use could feed a better ten,

earth's scarce resources it consumes, returns nothing,
though years have passed, remains a liability,
an asset to the world its hands have yet to bring,
a change in its demise no one can sure foresee,

as inert gas unnoticed seeping into cracks,
it poisons happy minds and smiling thoughts it kills,
then hisses into skies, so soiling white doves black,
when noticed men strike matches to it for the thrills,

there is a place for one who's nil before the world,
to lie beneath the feet of all, a rug unfurled

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

there is a lengthy space surrounding me
a radius the length of single arm
that isolates my soul from all i see

i am an island in the midst of sea
to separate my soul from any harm
there is a lengthy space surrounding me

i'm buffered from the hordes rejecting me
it might be called a gift, a special charm
that isolates my soul from all i see

my blessing is a curse that's spat on me
for when I seek another's soul as warm
there is a lengthy space surrounding me

and where I'd like to go I cannot be
my buffer zone's a barren empty farm
that isolates my soul from all i see

there once were people dancing 'round with me
yet something shooed away the loving swarm
there is a lengthy space surrounding me
that isolates my soul from all i see

(C)2008, Christos Rigakos

there's something 'bout jazz music, fills the eye
with thoughts of woodwinds brass and smoky dives
where clubs and streets meet moonlight in the sky

the music notes, arpeggio, they fly
with drinks around, the smoky mood arrives
there's something 'bout jazz music, fills the eye

the New York nightlife entertains the eye
past midnight, sewer smoke floats up alive
where clubs and streets meet moonlight in the sky

with Songs From the Night Before, Sanborn is high
and carries all, along with him they jive
there's something 'bout jazz music, fills the eye

the room is dark but for a stage so nigh
spotlight exposes New York's heartbeat live
where clubs and streets meet moonlight in the sky

where jazz songs live forever, never die
the spirit of New York at night it thrives
there's something 'bout jazz music, fills the eye
where clubs and streets meet moonlight in the sky

(C)2009, Christos Rigakos

there's strange fruit hanging from the tree
          we planted in the garden
those giant eggplants i can see
          in cloth wrapped, burnt and hardened
the white ghosts cooked them on the vine
while chanting blasphemies in time
          to metered prose of Tennyson's E. Arden

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

Awakened by the rumble in the ground,
I stared unfocused at a rolling cloud
of smoke and black soot falling all around,
and startled at the thunder-crack so loud,
          that scared to lifeless sleep a thousand faces,
          which littered fields to the most remote places.

The rumbling, now with squeaking iron wheels,
grew louder as the iron beasts approached,
I stood  and reeled upon two aching heels,
the sight of monsters ready to encroach.
          I fell beneath the belly of one beast,
          devoured into its raging, trampling feast.

Awakened by the whooshing of my breath,
pressed out from lungs and skin so completely,
after the cracking, crunching sound of death,
where pneuma from its flesh finds liberty.
          As light as soot-less air that blows away,
          I bid farewell to me.  I could not stay.

Around the fields where soldiers came to slay,
some shadows danced their jig victoriously,
while others puppeteered warriors in play,
and bathed in blood-warm sin so joyfully.
          And white-robed praying men stood off aside,
          with faces deep in praying hands to hide.

And,  as if sniffing blood upon the air,
some shadows turned their heads at once to me,
proceeded to approach like floating hair
of one drowned, pushed about, under  the sea.
          Their un-mouthed accusations, gurgled screams,
          struck fearsome that I burned up at my seams.

Yet one warm hand upon my shoulder stayed
my tremblings, my accusers ghastly shrieked.
My fears, not fully quenched, were much allayed.
The white-robed man, in un-mouthed words did speak,
          in my defense, recalling all good deeds,
          at times when his advice I'd somehow heed.

The raging shrieks cast all I ever did,
from infancy until this very war,
all things exposed and all I ever hid,
my very being was bared down to my core.
          In minutes lasting for eternity,
          my every living moment I could see.

Both sides had piled my deeds upon a scale,
each deed a colored weight much like a stone.
When one would add his stone,  the other'd wail,
till finally I found myself alone.
          I looked around and saw no one in sight,
          as darkness overcame me with a fright.

In blindness, all around me, grinding teeth,
unreachable, beyond my farthest reach,
a heaviness, as trapped down underneath,
a chasm, somewhere, never to be breached.
          The argument had finished, I surmised,
          with my conclusion hardly a surprise.

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos

The vapor trails across the starry sky,
they seem to span the universe but they
mislead my aching heart, my searching eye.

Like rainbow's end, if only there could I
locate that *** of gold, I'd surely spray
the vapor trails across the starry sky,

to find again the one for whom I cry,
yet always hopeful dreams in words I say
mislead my aching heart, my searching eye.

Without a *** of gold, or any prize,
the floating road may yet still lead the way.
Oh, vapor trails across the starry sky,

if I could follow, would you be close by
to my brother? My mind, now gone astray,
misleads my aching heart, my searching eye.

Now as I stare above, with blurring eyes,
night winds have blown the vapor trails away.
The vapor trails across the starry sky,
mislead my aching heart, my searching eye.

(C)2008, Christos Rigakos

my wedding photo hints of some foul play
          of death, destruction lurking, looming 'round
as four have cracked or burrowed under ground
          while two remain who yet have lived to stay
for two by two the years have counted them          
who've left this picture someone has condemned
          and neither they nor evil can be found

from left to clockwise tragedy has struck
          this picture taken in 2004
a blissful wedding day with bliss in store
          has seen no bliss yet only jet black luck          
for two years is the pattern found within
as if installments paid for unknown sin
          and two by two the years have taken more

2006 my brother passed too soon
          at thirty this was not his time to go
from one disease a cure does not yet know
          and from his loss we still are not immune
as one by one his organs fell asleep
until he too slipped through, we couldn't keep
          and he was just a prelude to this show

2008 my grandpa, ninety-five
          had lived a healthy, fruitful fulfilled life,
outlived even his loving doting wife
          by eight years more the man remained alive
for two years of his grandson was berieved
whose name he often spoke of as he grieved
          an old man overwhelmed with burdened strife

2010 the blissful pair had split
          whose wedding day this picture to us bore
after six years her joy had been no more
          explaining that my throne no longer fit
for i'd become a burden to her cause
and cut off, bleeding freely without gauze
          i cannot find the life i had before

2012 my father's heart had failed,
          in April he was saved but for a spell
until in May his heart one last time fell
          despite all of our efforts as we railed
and as it were, a grandson he'd not see
a son of my wife's flesh enjoined to me
          now how this pattern plays i cannot tell

the back row in the picture's marred complete
          the front row bears the two that now remain
this pattern of two years i can't explain
          but if continues more will see defeat
the clockwise movement left to right is done
now right to left the foreground move will run
          2014 promises new stain

the next in line, my mother in two years
          and two years after her my aunt is left
then i will be of everyone bereft
          an orphan, fate fulfilling all my fears
by this 2016 none may laugh
but one, this silent chilling photograph
          completing all my family's great theft

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

the tunic slid down off her
          supple *******, the milk
and honey of my hungry eyes, slow flutter-
          -by like butterfly kisses,
eyelashes on my heart's now fevered skin,
          for skin, yea, all i'd give,
to touch smooth porcelain-like
          vase, or marble Venus, statue-
-esque I stand, attentive now she covers-
          -up, i too take cover, diverting
eyes, in opposite directions carrying
          the weight of just one moment

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

at the storefront
where the life blood
poured out
from the hearts of many
balloons flowers and letters

(C)2001, Christos Rigakos

they love me secretly; and i surmise
they'll whisper from the rooftops with cupped hands,
and nowhere will it echo through the skies,
and none will be aware among the lands,

for if the heart-shaped flakes fell from above,
upon the heads of certain worry warts,
these questioners would question why this love
should still remain within my loved ones' hearts,

for i have been rejected from their home,
and so it goes their love should likewise be,
the value placed upon these commenteers,
is valueless and meaningless to me,

for worry warts could question me and stare,
and i would walk away without a care

(C)2011, Christos Rigakos

She asked, he gave, they smoked the night away.
They shared the fire they'd held between their eyes,
until the smoke gave way to light of day.

How long had she felt burning in this way?
Not longer than he'd held her in his eyes.
She asked, he gave, they smoked the night away.

He'd watched her every move and every sway,
and hid his aching pain from all the guys,
until the smoke gave way to light of day.

They told her of his longing, burning way,
and she denied her own with see-through lies.
She asked, he gave, they smoked the night away.

I saw the smoldering within his gaze,
and told her, but she called them brother guys,
until the smoke gave way to light of day.

She lied about the time she spent all day,
with him, he was a lover in disguise.
She asked, he gave, they smoked the night away,
until the smoke gave way to light of day.

(C)2008, Christos Rigakos

This evening, alone, I dim the light.
The needle crackles on the vinyl disk,
and Billy Holiday expounds.  The night
belongs to 1933.  I risk

forgetting all the present, modern days
sinking.  In leather deeply I recline,
absorbing all that special era plays,
and all I never lived are surely mine.

With every sip of bourbon on this night,
they come alive again through jazz and song,
from album cover pictures, black and white.
We dance in black ties, black tails all night long.

And when the morning sun has woken me,
I will have lived my night in history.


(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

This gun thing on the news it scares me so,
appears in schools and homes, beware the gun!
The kids will be in trouble, they should know,
they cannot make the shape of it for fun.

Don't eat a pastry till it looks like one,
or shape a Play-Doh mountain like an "L".
The teachers quake in anger, looking stunned.
You'll see the principal before the bell!

And even pointing fingers, they can tell,
your index and your thumb, if from the side
looks like a gun, they'll sound the scary knell,
and grab the kids into a room to hide!

As if you'd **** a finger when you pull it,
and out will come a magic deadly bullet.

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

those shiny plump cherry lips i adore,
their lipstick scent, my nose an inch away
as we approach, i lick them end to end,
they part, you gasp, a word they dare not say,

this moment, unexpected, they won't ruin,
reasonings, our seasonings our spice,
avoiding awkward explanations, in-
hale, ex-hale, minty breath sweetly nice,

now pressing four lips, squeezing pair on pair,
now opening now closing, tongues do taste,
my fingers combing through your long black hair,
saliva, corner lips, they drip in haste,

the slow warm wet worms grapple, intertwine,
massaging topside bottom side and side,
they slither round and up ecstacy's vine,
higher, higher as they deeper crawl inside,

as hands on lower back pull closer in,
two jealous pelvises also do kiss,
to grind the dance of passion and begin,
with neither of our parts ready to miss

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

Upon this hill I plant the flag--
     Of every imp and scallywag,
rapscallion, rogue and rascal, knave--
      Whom kingdoms' laws could never save.

I gather every varlet, scamp,
      Around the bonfire of our camp,
And pass around the speaking torch,
      For storytelling tales that scorch,

To every sullied man, uncouth,
      Unwashed who smiles a scurvied tooth,
The scarlet-lettered harlot, *****,
      Who loves to scallygag her mensch,

The whoredom-loving scallyhag,
      Who trollops round the pirate's crag,
The tousle-haired and greasy scullion
      Cooking all a hot slumgullion,

And after tales of those unnerved,
      And scullion's slimy stew is served,
I toast a round of filthy ale,
      To all who live beyond the pale.


(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

to hate me is the only way to live,
for loving me is holding back the clock,
don't hold its hands, they'll break for they won't give,
and now these hands, your heart are made of rock,

your lips are sealed to me as with a lock,
and though i scream to you you'll have no speech,
our love you've pawned, our friendship you now hock,
and all my protestations can not reach,

your heart's allowed new love to seep and breach,
its torment's come from loving fully two,
both loves have grated on your nerves to screetch,
so now you bid your old one adieu!

and i, the one you swore you'd always love,
fall off the precipice by violent shove

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

two souls enjoined by God become one flesh,
no more are they a husband and a wife,
one body, all its capillaries meshed,
one heart, two lungs, one breath, one beating life,

oh, we are interwoven, every thread,
like lovers' fingers interlocked in time,
as slowly flesh cleaves unto flesh in bed,
we are but one alone, not yours, not mine,

though when from me you tear yourself away,
our tapestry becomes unraveled, cringe!
how is it you are whole still, as you say,
while I remain a curled and tattered fringe?

our love once fragranced every single breath,
now torn, it seems alone I bleed to death

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos

traffic horns
inside car windows
Bob Marley

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

The lips conjure the trinity which can be heard, not seen,
which hands may manifest to eyes what ears have heard, not seen.

The lips beget belief so faith may be what it's not been,
until the hands may work that faith may see what's yet unseen.

The trinity, no man may see, composed of just three words,
enters into the darkness of the heart which none have seen.

"I love you," radiant, divides the dark of night from day,
the corners of the heart, illuminated, then are seen.

The trinity, by lips conjured, embue a godly breath
into the breast of one long dead, the miracle is seen.

Though life begins, it too must end, eventual the death,
if hands then fail to manifest the trinity, unseen.

But if the hands bring forth the words to prove them to the heart,
then death is thwarted, life remains and paradise is seen.

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

ngiti mo sumunog sa puso ko
mata mo alipimin kaluluwa ko
kapag ikay nakatitig sakin
napapaso ako sayong mga tinging magpakailanman

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

ang ngiti mo ang sumunog sa puso ko
ang ngiti mo ang umalipin sa kaluluwa ko
at kapag ikaw ay tumititig sa akin
napapaso ako, mgpakailanman

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos


*
(Translation:

my first poem for my Zera, in Tagalog

your smile sets fire to my heart
your eyes enslave my soul
and when you stare at me
i burn in your gaze for eternity)

under the full moon
the ceaseless howling
of a dog
i join in kinship
for one so far away

(C)2002, Christos Rigakos

Unpacking an old box I scrounged and found
a card for Mother's Day from my ex-wife,
professing love for mom that will abound
through time and space until the end of life.

Four years have passed--since first she filed divorce--
no card or letter, nor a seldom call.
A once abundant love could not be forced
to crease a smile, for it would now appall.

Why do I flinch once more and wonder how,
the love departs, which oaths swore never would?
Why they all say, "but things are different now,"
though hearts were sold as things that never could?

Amazing, how such endless loves quick end,
as flimsy tattered fabrics quickly rend.

(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

The astral umbilical cord which tethers flesh to soul,
in Death is torn, the spirit soars, the man is no more whole.

In life when man is put away outside the city gates,
untethered by a scornful wife, his spirit bears the toll.

Untethered, man may roam the paths of cemetery aisles
as dead, yet spurned by those in graves--the living corpse's role.

As dead in spirit, living flesh hangs rotten on its bones,
yet breathing still it can not qualify to rest in hole.

Though charitous among the living offer food and clothes,
I only seek from those I've lost to fill my begging bowl.

Declining shelter I have chosen life under a bridge,
that I may watch my loved ones from afar, their ugly troll.

Where love is life, a loveless life is spiritless corpus.
In my decay in search I stray to find again my soul.


(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

waiting silently
by the crematorium
the ashes
fall from her cigarette
without a sound

(C)2005, Christos Rigakos

We are to come and leave and not return,
But hand our secret scroll to those who'd be.
I'll pass the writings on which passed to me,
And shrink to blackened ash with flameless burn.

As far as those who'll be--of whom will earn,
That secret scroll containing some of me,
Quite like yet quite unlike, in no way me--
They'll mourn for I'll have gone and won't return.

To live on in a heart or memory,
Is not living or life or anything,
But trite consoling words of sympathy--

A metaphor or best a simile--
suspending truth, and grief that loss will bring.
In truth no more am I nor shall I be.


(C)2015, Christos Rigakos

We caught him on film and there he will stay,
frozen in time with a smile on his face,
forever and ever and that plus a day.

This brother of mine--whom Death took away,
and hid him far off in a shadowy place--
we caught him on film and there he will stay.

When Death takes his mark, it's forever, always,
replacing a mass with the void of a space,
forever and ever and that plus a day.

Though normally Death is precise in his way,
with scythe and with time leaving none of a trace,
we caught him on film and there he will stay.

I'd rather Death took all our pictures away
and left my dear brother right here in his place,
forever and ever and that plus a day.

Yet brother's now gone, he's been taken away,
and though with these pictures he can't be replaced,
we caught him on film and there he will stay,
forever and ever and that plus a day.

(C)2008, Christos Rigakos

we met like two birds landing on a wire
and chattered with our chirping sounds that sing
at distance where no flights could we conspire

though thoughts of love nests set our ******* on fire
like humans holding tight to form a ring
we met like two birds landing on a wire

that laid upon the face of earth's attire
so far that only light-boxes could bring
at distance where no flights could we conspire

yet caught by love like wings snagged in a brier
two lovebirds sought to ease loneliness's sting
we met like two birds landing on a wire

and dreamed since then of hatchlings we could sire
with eggshells cracking at the scent of Spring
at distance where no flights could we conspire

above the clouds now dreams have floated higher
and soaring past the heavens there do sing
we met like two birds landing on a wire
at distance where no flights could we conspire

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

We're strapped into our seats upon this boat,
the vessel of the journey of our days,
and steady 'pon the Grand River we float,
that would we, we could not deter its way.

The children whine, this journey never ends,
adults see where they've been and where they go,
The elderly, prepared to leave, pretend,
yet wish the ride to stutter and to slow.

The journey's one, though it be mine or thine,
though when it starts, the start is all we know,
the more we've traveled, less we have of time,
and wish we had some more before we go.

But God has granted me to be this wise:
that I should spend my journey in your eyes.

(C)2007, Christos Rigakos

Were you just made for me? I ask because
I asked for you one day, was I the cause
of your arrival simply 'cause I asked?
Was my request enough to cause His Task?

Were you returned to Him because I left
our home and left your side a void, a cleft?
Had you fulfilled your role, companion, friend,
and thus your clock had reached its circled end?

Insane, the thought, insanity it seems,
yet now I see you only in deep dreams,
for you arrived promptly at my behest,
as soon as my two lips had formed request.

And soon after I cleaved to my dear wife,
not two years passed, and so likewise your life.
Your presence seemed with mine to coincide,
and when I left, yours too had left to hide.

Yet who was I that God would grant me you--
a child so unimportant and untrue,
and who am I that God should take away
the brother that I love until this day?

I never once deserved such precious love,
a gift of my request from heights above,
companion, brother, seeking just to be
a best friend who could always walk with me.

And did I love you as you just deserved?
I often held my feelings in reserve,
until the day you chose to say to me
those truest words, your very last to be:

"I love you, brother," said to my dismay,
as if you knew there'd be no other day.
So undeserving for your smiling face,
I should have been the one in your dark place.

For all the years you sought my closed embrace,
only to find my hand stopping your face,
the gift of life should have remained with you,
and sleep for me, forgetting all I knew.

Yet seemingly it all became reversed,
you've died, I groan under a grieving curse.
Oh, who am I that I remain to be?
Oh, who am I? Were you just made for me?

(C)2010, Christos Rigakos

We see the world through crests and troughs of light,
That points to many things, returns to show,
What's there before us so that we may know,
The world existing in our precious sight.

Yet what if what we see, and think is right,
by virtue of unveiling of its glow,
Is merely part of what the light won't show,
of that which lives forever in the night?

What could there be that human eye won't see,
Which by this lack of sight we sure deny;
And what of those we love who've passed away?

Between the crest and trough at some degree,
Are things on Earth attributed to sky,
And by a few degrees are kept at bay?

(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

What do you do when blackened grief abounds,
and permeates all things in every way,
as eyes search none but what's beneath the ground?

When molten anguish tastes like pepper grounds,
my tongue a marble-black ashtray,
what do you do when blackened grief abounds?

My days, spent listening for missing sounds,
grow grey, in search for voice that's gone away,
as eyes seek none but what's beneath the ground.

My nights, spent wide awake, are often bound
to one fallen asleep a different way.
What do you do when blackened grief abounds,

yet he, whom my heart seeks cannot be found,
while words of love, pent up, I cannot say,
as eyes seek none but what's beneath the ground?

I hope the universe we share is round,
that paths will cross, again he'll come my way.
What do you do when blackened grief abounds,
as eyes search none but what's beneath the ground?

(C)2008, Christos Rigakos

She strolled along the narrow pathway through
the park.  Her soft skirt flitting  in the breeze,
her long legs smooth and pampered, sandaled feet
took mellow steps under the Springtime sun.

She caught the eye of Fred, who from his book
rose up bespectacled and drank the scene
of one young beauty carried by the breeze,
and thanked the Lord for all His wondrous things.

She noticed that he noticed and she sneered,
disdainfully and crushed him with the lids
of scornful eyes that closed upon his face,
and cursed the womb that birthed this pervert live.

She caught the eye of Tom, whose magazine
dropped to the bench from fingers preening hair,
his lion's gaze devouring this gazelle,
and she took notice of his notice there.

She threw back hair and turned to meet his gaze
with sideways glance, a wink, and half pursed lips,
amazed a stroll from bench to bench could find
a pervert and a stud so side by side.

Both men came to the park to sit and read,
and read indeed, then both, like men, did do
what men so do, and neither differed there,
yet one was deemed a pervert, one a stud.

(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

What's rendered me an impotent of life,
while others live a life with vibrant hum?
A curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife!

While other lives with fine success are rife,
my own's deplete, a curse has sure become
what's rendered me an impotent of life!

Through failure to provide I've lost a wife!
Though I believe, there are those doubts in some,
a curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife

cannot exist, they say, I'm a midwife
to all my troubles, I am who has done
what's rendered me an impotent of life!

Or maybe I've insulted a spaewife,
who cast, to love and money make me dumb,
a curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife.

I've searched from North Recife to Tenerife,
and failed to find a way to make undone
what's rendered me an impotent of life,
a curse that's hedged me by a wall of strife!

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

When growing up I pushed away my father's molding hands,
     asserting I was different than he was and was my own,
     yet I allowed my friends to mold me, there I had been hewn,
     becoming them in function form and every fiber strand.
I disappointed him who spawned me from his very *****
     and saw me henceforth as a stranger living in his home.
     At last resigned to this demise he hid his hands and tone.
     I had betrayed my maker for a sack of thirty coins.
Far later I'd returned to him a prodigal old son,
     and hinted, showed and sang and danced his many favored tunes.
     Disinterested he questioned it.  No longer did he care.
These days I search my father's mind, though now it's surely gone,
     and seek those ancient treasures gone by very many moons,
     and wish he'd know that I am him though he's no longer there.

(C)2019, Christos Rigakos

When lust at last imposes in the heart,
It sets ablaze the ground and smokes the mind,
And no compelling order to depart,
Can separate the soul from thoughts that bind.

For when lust's made its great impassioned catch,
Its hold outweighs the best escaping skills,
Its talon's grip's a solid iron latch,
And won't release until its aim's fulfilled.

The lustful man deliberately will go,
Ignoring will to do what lust must do,
Where talons only **** him to and fro,
Ignoring moral peace which he once knew.

And when the lust has finished with a scream,
The weakness seems was only but a dream.

(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

when they move on they never look behind,
determined eyes seek only what's ahead,
and those they've left behind are left for dead,
their memory does every heel step grind,

so no old fiber to their thought can bind,
and to alleviate that awful dread,
which weighs upon the heart like heavy lead,
they hum the olden song of auld lang syne,

and those they've left behind for some odd sin,
who long for, are deprived of, one last kiss,
and haunt their memories with dreadful sigh,

forgotten for they've surely never been,
no more in recollections do exist,
they shrivel as a memory and die

(C)2013, Christos Rigakos

Where do you suppose she goes to stay,
to be with her secret lover?
I 'd bet you a bet, it's not far away.

The place where she goes, when she goes to play,
those games with her secret other,
where do you suppose she goes to stay?

I followed her round the town one day,
with discretion she couldn't be bothered.
I 'd bet you a bet, it's not far away.

She walked from her office not too far away,
oblivious to me undercover.
Where do you suppose she goes to stay?

She met a young man, in his arms she was splayed,
I filmed this and sent to her mother.
I 'd bet you a bet, it's not far away,

the beating she'd get for the rest of the day,
from mother and father and brother.
Where do you suppose she's now forced to stay?
I 'd bet you a bet, it's not far away.

(C)2008, Christos Rigakos

where is the other world, where does reside
the realm of souls impossible to see
that place where loved ones go where spirits hide?

most say it is a place where souls abide
a distance from the flesh of which they flee
where is the other world, where does reside

the doorway sought and failed where many've tried
to peek into the dark against decree
that place where loved ones go where spirits hide?

yet is it here among us as we cry
for loved ones passed from casket 'cross that sea?
where is the other world, where does reside?

and could it be right next to those who've died
while resonating foreign frequencies
that place where loved ones go where spirits hide?

why do we look with longing to the skies
when all around us things are never seen?
where is the other world, where does reside
that place where loved ones go where spirits hide?

(C)2009, Christos Rigakos

where you have gone no one may follow there
no tourist guide may go for tell and show
it is a place unmapped i know not where

though many've tried their patience could not bear
surrendered to this fact and they now know
where you have gone no one may follow there

i've questioned eastern experts on a dare
they said its where the life force tends to flow
it is a place unmapped i know not where

a place where all the resting find no care
perfection where you neither shrink nor grow
where you have gone no one may follow there

i've questioned western experts on a dare
they said there's only one way there to go,
it is a place unmapped i know not where

our parents soon would follow if they'd bear
to watch my passing through that door to go
where you have gone no one may follow there
it is a place unmapped i know not where

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos

while winter still, today's pure air is Spring's,
as light jackets and shorter shirts attest,
that heart-bud-waking fragrance lingering,
the air in nostrils puffing up the breast,

in all directions couples holding hands,
while strolling through the effervescent park,
where squirrels and playing children understand,
a difference in the air so crisp and stark,

my thoughts, to love turn, running into space,
a missing heart beats silence into mine,
i turn to see a void where in its place,
not long ago our faces were combined,

i walk along the pathways and i stare,
the hand now holding mine is only air

(C)2012, Christos Rigakos