this side of me scares you
(it scares everyone)
running on open roads, with nothing but
hair choking me. you could never comprehend
the noiseless drowning. the blissful sleep.
once. twice.
i just need the *****, i guess.
your words are sugar, quickly dissolved.
my stomach urges. but nothing ever comes up.
congratulations!
you're now officially in love with a
****** up girl.
a girl with emotions will swing with a snap,
a girl with will never fully make sense to you,
a girl who's eyes never seem to stay dry long enough.
i thought you would
(or at least, kind of)
instead your mouth droops, your fingers fidget.
i need the red. the adrenaline wants me.
i long for it, especially when we lie.
i ponder which item to use. how it will trickle,
and how you will pretend.
your ****** up girl, she loves you though.
so much she can't breathe sometimes.
your ****** up girl, would lie down and wait,
even with thunderstorms and cruel footsteps.
she knows you wouldn't do the same, and every time
she thinks about it, she shatters.

You make me sick
Slathering Splenda sweetness
On, all slimy and thick

It is fake like your nails
your hair
your skin
And especially -
Your claim to enlightenment

Enlightened ones
feed not on attention -
but on living & giving
Sharing your thoughts
to spread happiness
Cause beauty blooms
In the garden of the mind

So stop sharing your body
the only thing it pleases
is many, many a *****

You exclaim love is your guidance
But internally you shout disgust
Disgust for yourself
Disgust, for all those girls
Whose men you claimed
With your filthy cat claws

Your heart is an empty hole
And pitch black is the color
Of your ever whimpering soul

Catapulted
Into the world unknown
Surrounded by strangers
No friends; no foes
My mind is held captive
In the distant place
That I call home
I’ve been stuck here for years
Wasted wandering
I weep for the lies I’ve kept
As I leap for the life I left

waking up groggy--
   no idea why i'm
       in a nightgown

sharing milk,
  fellow inpatients
    drink in sun

The red rosebud, bitterly wept,
and said" I am full of guilt
          I don't want
                   to bloom at all"

Autumn has opened the doors
To touch us with her chilled breath
Scattering bloodstained leaves
In a crimson path ahead of us
I climb from your lap
To follow the trail
While you convoy closely behind
Our skin, warmed from the
Summer's sun
Shivers slightly under
Autumn's sigh
And under the somehow darker sky,
Shadows are profound
You take my hand with care,
As comfort to us both
And we walk in unison
Among the shedding trees
Traveling a path of red, to nowhere
Getting lost, in the changing
Of the season.