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Three beginnings.
Three boys.
Three kisses.
Three promises.

Three phone calls.
Three conversations.
Three tears.
Three endings.

*Third time's the charm right?
Afraid
Of the unknown
Of what lies ahead
Of the things I can't control
Of the things I can control
Of the things that might change my life
Of my life never changing
Of failure
Of success
Of something terrible happening
Of something wonderful happening
Of nothing happening
Of my life being meaningless
Of my life having purpose
Of never finding happiness
Of never finding myself
Of life.
I am afraid of everything and nothing.
Our bed
One we'll
Share in the future
Where I rest my eyes
And you occasionally do too
Where the stains
Of our passion
Appear
Where our child
Shall be made
The bed they'll
Crawl into after having
A nightmare
The bed we grow older in
Each night trusting it
To be gentle
With our bodies
That are growing frail
Our bed
Where we'll leave this world
Our bed where many
Laughs
And moans
And secrets will be told
Our bed
The one to carry us through
Our journey of life.
Through years spent
sharing a bedroom
And playing in the same streets
Gnawing on the same meals
with childish teeth
I don't think you really
know how much it all
means

Now weeks pass
I'm in class, you work
but I spend many nights
wondering if you hurt
or wonder if I've grown
since the days in that home

We have different tastes
different hungers
but I mean it when I say
I love you and I'm grateful to
call you
Brother
© Daniel Magner 2012
The fruits of what you planted here are rotting in my
mind
And every day I lock the doors and leave it all
behind
I'm looking for a fire that will **** the rancid
fume
But as for now I'll rectify in ink and through a
plume
Injustice reigns in all you do, oh planter of these
seeds
I've felt you water parts of me with hotly boiled
deeds
You've burned me more than I can say or memory can
claim
And how I can be of your flesh should drive me half
insane
Instead I balance what I know with what I've seen you
do
Let clarity prepare a way to purge what's left of
you
I'm almost there, I sense it now, the last I'll use this
key
For I have found the other room you tried to hide from
me
So take your place inside yourself and I will walk
away
And harbor neither hatred nor the curses you could
lay
I'm breathing now, I've filled my lungs with freshly seasoned
air
I'm entering with both feet in, a newly painted
lair
From the perspective of a boy writing to his father.
open eyes that cannot seem
to grasp their own reality -
are they blind or do they see?
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