i'm your soul mate, you know it and remain in silence.
we’re making the same steps, in the same rhythm, you know
you and i, we had the same evolution,
we asked the same questions, we came to the same solution

if you are who you are, than I can make it, than i will be who i am,
currently i'm leaking, love seeking.
we know so much, without saying it,
you know what i mean, but you have to admit
that you don't trust this, that i can look behind your mask,
so i ask, is this too colorful in all this grey?

or maybe i'm two steps ahead
i will step them back, for you i'll take the loss

stupid, pathetic words, i hate them myself
i talk so much stuff, i'm like dust on a shelf
you are so much smarter than me anyway
now don't look away!

but i studied the science of love.

i dealt with it since thousands of years
i observed and i took down how i suffered in tears
now i know something and i see you don't have a clue
i can see my own kind, i see us all in blue

we walk like figures from picasso's most empathic time
we can fly and dream and we don't talk, we mime
we suffer like dogs, day by day, year by year
we cook our blood and swim in it, without any fear

but we cant manage to work as a community
because in all this chaos we are much rather free.
our wish of shared identity
is killed by the beauty we can't see

so much space and so much that we fill with pain
i know you and you know me, my love, i am
addicted too your touch, without any shame
i could yell it out loud, i wish you would do the same

than suddenly we wouldn't be, maybe like the blue
and i bet, they'd give us better names, like the new
don't you think, it would be easier to be free.
now we are the reds for everyone to see

there, where people kiss without thinking about tomorrow
and we only wave the blue on flags without feeling sorrow.

i dreamed about death last night
not heaven or hell
or whatever afterlife you believe in
but the actual act of dying
i laid there
body paralyzed
feeling the warm blood leave my body
feeling my chest collapsing
but still trying to breath
opened my mouth
but there was no sound
no mumble
or moan
screech
nor scream
only death and i was scared
where was the light they foretold
or the out of body experience
because i never separated from the pain
i thought and fought to breath until my very last
then there was nothing

to be cont....

to the one i have loved:
How do i put this eloquently?
how could my best friend, my baby,
cast me away so easily?
as if I meant nothing, all along
you smelled out my vulnerability and capitalized,
but your touch and kind words,
how could you fake them?
with such a serious vehemence
in which my intrigue grew to enamor?
I can't bring myself to admit the illusion,
the delusion,
but how else do you explain
the insignificance that brought me this pain?
you may be but i am not
stoic, i am full of nerves like a funny bone or sensitive tooth, and i wear them openly and freely,
you may see this as my weakness but it is my greatest strength,
to let myself feel what i may and know that those emotions are okay
to feel the world the way i see it and let people in

I know i made mistakes, i am human, am i not?
yet here is the delusion: did you expect me to be perfect? visions of a perfect love with understanding and support, tucked in the country side with a dog and someday a little boy or girl?
I had them too. Before you told me you could imagine a life with me.

and I took that to heart.

But never mind the past, it cannot be undone, although intense longing and plea for answers besets, i know this is for the best, i trust that you did me a favor in the long run. I am much too strong of a woman .

So my darling, goodnight and i wish you well
But i want you to know, just my sentient:
you will hold a piece of me no one had touched, even if i was your way of forgetting an even greater love,
i just wish that love could have been me.

Today, the sky is an ashen hue of grey.
Today, the sky is void of warmth.
Today, Christmas is a week away.
Today, the sky is weeping.

I stand in line at the checkout stand.
Two older women wait ahead of me.
My ears tune-in to their conversation.
They're talking about Connecticut.

"...they say he took his mother's life..."
"...went to the school and took the lives of 20 children..."
"...he went in and they said they heard popping sounds..."
"...they say it's the second to worst school shooting, ever..."
"...anyways, they say she was probably the first child to be shot..."

And there it was.
Good old American sentiment at it's finest.
Does it really matter who's innocent life was taken first?
Does it really matter?

So petty.
So insignificant.
Here we are, facing a tragedy... and then,
Here we are turning it into a competition.

Frustration hits me like a wave as I stand there in line.
My stomach twists because it's always the same.
My head swirls as I feel the earth spinning
It's always the same.

The sky still sobs as I leave the store.
The haze still haunts and the cold confirms.
I get in my car to drive away from the women.
I get in my car to drive away from the twisted sentiment.

Now I am standing alone in the rain.
The callous wind nips at my neck.
I stare at the rippling surface of the lake.
I watch the reflecting sky distort itself.

Somewhere out there people are suffering.
Around the world humans die every day.
But when it's here, the world morns with us,
And when it's out there, we pretend not to know.

--Christian J. Clark

Good-by, proud world, I'm going home,
Thou'rt not my friend, and I'm not thine;
Long through thy weary crowds I roam;
A river-ark on the ocean brine,
Long I've been tossed like the driven foam,
But now, proud world, I'm going home.

Good-by to Flattery's fawning face,
To Grandeur, with his wise grimace,
To upstart Wealth's averted eye,
To supple Office low and high,
To crowded halls, to court, and street,
To frozen hearts, and hasting feet,
To those who go, and those who come,
Good-by, proud world, I'm going home.

I'm going to my own hearth-stone
Bosomed in yon green hills, alone,
A secret nook in a pleasant land,
Whose groves the frolic fairies planned;
Where arches green the livelong day
Echo the blackbird's roundelay,
And ****** feet have never trod
A spot that is sacred to thought and God.

Oh, when I am safe in my sylvan home,
I tread on the pride of Greece and Rome;
And when I am stretched beneath the pines
Where the evening star so holy shines,
I laugh at the lore and the pride of man,
At the sophist schools, and the learned clan;
For what are they all in their high conceit,
When man in the bush with God may meet.

"Soyez muette pour moi, Idole contemplative..."

I came home and found a lion in my living room
Rushed out on the fire escape screaming Lion! Lion!
Two stenographers pulled their brunnette hair and banged the window shut
I hurried home to Patterson and stayed two days

Called up old Reichian analyst
who'd kicked me out of therapy for smoking marijuana
'It's happened' I panted 'There's a Lion in my living room'
'I'm afraid any discussion would have no value' he hung up

I went to my old boyfriend we got drunk with his girlfriend
I kissed him and announced I had a lion with a mad gleam in my eye
We wound up fighting on the floor I bit his eyebrow he kicked me out
I ended up ******* in his jeep parked in the street moaning 'Lion.'

Found Joey my novelist friend and roared at him 'Lion!'
He looked at me interested and read me his spontaneous ignu high poetries
I listened for lions all I heard was Elephant Tiglon Hippogriff Unicorn
        Ants
But figured he really understood me when we made it in Ignaz Wisdom's
        bathroom.

But next day he sent me a leaf from his Smoky Mountain retreat
'I love you little Bo-Bo with your delicate golden lions
But there being no Self and No Bars therefore the Zoo of your dear Father
        hath no lion
You said your mother was mad don't expect me to produce the Monster for
        your Bridegroom.'

Confused dazed and exalted bethought me of real lion starved in his stink
        in Harlem
Opened the door the room was filled with the bomb blast of his anger
He roaring hungrily at the plaster walls but nobody could hear outside
        thru the window
My eye caught the edge of the red neighbor apartment building standing in
        deafening stillness
We gazed at each other his implacable yellow eye in the red halo of fur
Waxed rhuemy on my own but he stopped roaring and bared a fang
        greeting.
I turned my back and cooked broccoli for supper on an iron gas stove
boilt water and took a hot bath in the old tup under the sink board.

He didn't eat me, tho I regretted him starving in my presence.
Next week he wasted away a sick rug full of bones wheaten hair falling out
enraged and reddening eye as he lay aching huge hairy head on his paws
by the egg-crate bookcase filled up with thin volumes of Plato, & Buddha.

Sat by his side every night averting my eyes from his hungry motheaten
        face
stopped eating myself he got weaker and roared at night while I had
        nightmares
Eaten by lion in bookstore on Cosmic Campus, a lion myself starved by
        Professor Kandisky, dying in a lion's flophouse circus,
I woke up mornings the lion still added dying on the floor--'Terrible
        Presence!'I cried'Eat me or die!'

It got up that afternoon--walked to the door with its paw on the south wall to
        steady its trembling body
Let out a soul-rending creak from the bottomless roof of his mouth
thundering from my floor to heaven heavier than a volcano at night in
        Mexico
Pushed the door open and said in a gravelly voice "Not this time Baby--
        but I will be back again."

Lion that eats my mind now for a decade knowing only your hunger
Not the bliss of your satisfaction O roar of the universe how am I chosen
In this life I have heard your promise I am ready to die I have served
Your starved and ancient Presence O Lord I wait in my room at your
        Mercy.

                                        Paris, March 1958

To understand one's mind
look into their soul.

To see their complexity
look into their eyes.

My eyes are cloudy
my soul...empty

So lost in the distance
I can't see through the cold

To love a person
is to understand them

I can not be loved
through my soul they can not see.

Nova
Andrew Robinson 11/1/10

So who’s gonna watch you smile
Should you ever make it home
With your soul raw in full panic
And feet worn to the bone

I know it burns
Holes through your scars
I know how it
Tears you apart

So who’s gonna watch you fly
When our scorched earth cracks asunder
Not even you in flushed highs
Desperately lost in wonder

I know it burns
Holes through your arms
I know how it
Tears you apart

Still you, ignite
Through my dreams
A graceful destruction
Of my everything

Now I need to know
What you think you see
When you stare infinite
Worlds through me

Into the stars

So who’s gonna watch you pry
Your ashen breaths open
From your hallowed chest who
Nightmares swallowed

So who’s gonna watch you cry
Should you ever fall and break
Within the blood and gore
Of your own rapture’s wake

I know it burns
Holes through your heart
I know how it
Tears you apart

So who’s gonna watch you die
This time
So who’s gonna watch you die
Inside

Still you, ignite
Through my dreams
A graceful destruction
Of my everything

Now I need to know
What you think you see
When you stare infinite
Worlds through me

Into the dark

The alcohol runs through my veins
and the drugs impair visions of my brain.
Inhale, see my world, your love will transpire.
Exhale, as our souls unite only to fly higher.
Take a dive with me into the clouds of lust,
in my hand you can trust, don’t let go.
The path of ecstasy is not far head; albeit,
the gate is locked, and yet I hold the key,
so please, follow me…
Visions blur while our breath is thin,
A purple dolphin swims by as we grab its fin,
swimming in the blue it is serene, and
fortunatley its hue is no illusion or dream.
We float now up to the stars, watching
them cry with each each beat of our heart,
the clouds release us, the earth shakes and the moon shines,
colors so vibrant and divine, our vibes electric as they combine
I don’t want who wants, but need who needs,
If you like my world your body I will please.